The Babycenter Boards

Long before I found blogs or IVFC (which appears to be gone) or Resolve, I hung out on the Babycenter bulletin boards. So this essay about the boards hit close to home, especially passages like this:

On BabyCenter, women like me who didn’t feel the need to move on, get over, or forget about their pregnancy losses find a refuge. I continued wasting money on stacks of pregnancy tests that would end up in the trash — only to be fished out 30 minutes later for just one more look at that line — but at least I no longer felt isolated.

I remember those boards were the only thing getting me through my day. I went to those women for advice about injections, questions about my chart, commiseration when there was a workplace baby shower that I didn’t want to attend. Unlike the author, I never got to a dark place with the boards and only found support and empathy.

I connected the most with two other women and we formed a separate email group (which was easier to check during my lunch hour), which meant that I slowly pulled away from the boards. That email group continued for another year beyond the boards before it fizzled out and I found blogs, IVFC, and Resolve. I’m still in touch with some of the women from that Resolve board. One I found again through my blog, so it all comes full circle.

Can online bulletin boards become a dark place? Sure, just as any space can become a dark, unhealthy space. But they made me feel connection to something when I felt so isolated in my day to day world.