Let’s Talk About Miscarriages
By “talk,” I really mean “teach.” The Guardian recently had an opinion piece on why miscarriage and infertility should be covered in sex ed classes in school. I wholeheartedly agree.
The benefits are more long-term than immediate: “Including fertility struggles and the normality of miscarriage in sex ed curriculums could undoubtedly improve the mental health of those who later experience pregnancy loss.”
It would be helpful not only for the individual to understand what is happening from the get-go, but for everyone around the person to also understand miscarriage because they’ve been exposed to the idea in school and beyond. It takes something that is hard and makes it a tiny bit easier because the event is (ideally) surrounded by support and understanding.
7 comments
Yes!! It doesn’t have to be anything too in-depth or graphic. Just introducing the idea that this is something that can happen, here’s why, and some stats as to how common it really is, would really help to begin normalizing this experience.
P.S. Jessica Zucker’s book is great.
Totally agree. This is so important.
Years ago, I had to teach a class on reproductive biology to a group teenagers in a college level Bio101 course. The entire chapter of that textbook emphasized that getting pregnant and giving birth were insanely easy (there was a couple of pages about birth control). To counter this thinking, I started my 3 hour lecture on the topic covering infertility, miscarriage and the fertility industry. I still remember the feedback from students about how they didn’t know any of this and some sharing stories about family members who didn’t have children who they were now seeing in a different light.
You’re right about needing to include this in sex education. Not doing so perpetuates the shame and mythology about reproduction. Miscarriage and infertility are common. It needs to be talked about as much as we need to talk about birth control and reproductive choice.
People are always so surprised to hear about pregnancy loss. Then the women start confessing, privately, that they too had a miscarriage, or stillbirth. There’s such shame around it all – talking about it can only help. It’s a fact of life. It needs to be recognised as such.
I took a whole reproductive biology course in college in the late 80s, based on Our Bodies Ourselves and similar books. Basically all about birth control and avoiding pregnancy. Granted, at that age *most* people are trying to avoid pregnancy/aren’t going to suffer from infertility. But yeah, might have been nice to have a brief section on miscarriage/infertility (perhaps it was mentioned and just didn’t resonate with me, at that age???). I think “don’t wait too long” needs to be said, but many people (myself included, before I started TTC) might see that message as anti-feminist, etc. (Of course, there are other causes of infertility besides age.)
Yes! I wholeheartedly agree. I think especially since many families have dealt with infertility and miscarriage, having the tools to talk openly and honestly about it and know that it’s unfortunately party of the reproductive picture would be invaluable. Especially since later, when people find that they are infertile or experience loss, they don’t feel quite so isolated. I would have appreciated talk of dysfunctional periods, since everyone was like COUNT! And my body betrayed me all the time, was unpredictable, and I felt like a freakshow. Normalize this stuff. I think if we can cover genital warts, we can cover miscarriage.
First of all thank you for talking about miscarriages. It is very important that everyone should know this. I do agree with you what you are saying here.