Firsts
The twins went to the mall for the first time in over a year and a half. Probably two years. They needed clothes before the pandemic hit, but we didn’t run those errands because we thought we’d be home for two weeks and then go back to normal life. 16 months of pyjamas and camp t-shirts later, and it felt time to enter a store and purchase hard pants.
It was overwhelming to be around so many people. But 80% of people wore a mask. (Our area is high vaccine/high mask wearing.) The kids got some new clothes and feel ready to return to life in the outside world.
We had a repair person come into our house for the first time since March 2020. It was to fix the broken television signal. We’ve been fixing things ourselves using YouTube as our teacher, but this went beyond our skill set. It was weird to have someone in our house. I cleaned after he left, but then it broke again. I guess I’m going to be cleaning a second time. Or maybe not. It will be a game time decision, like so many things these days.
And we went inside my parents’ house. We saw them outside through the pandemic, but we moved inside this week. It took us a few minutes to remove our masks, but then we all hung out in the living room as if we were living in 2019. We sat around the dining room table, having a normal dinner. I felt like I was moving gingerly, like walking again on a healed foot. I needed to move carefully, almost like I was trying not to wake something. But there is nothing to wake up.
In many ways, it was less stressful to give things up in 2020 than it has been to add them back in 2021.
11 comments
So much easier to give up going outside than it has been to go back! We still don’t dine out much (We got frozen custard the other day, and my daughter got my husband’s Veteran’s Day meal to go, before the coupon expired). I’m going to visit my sister in 11 more days, and will see friends while I’m there. Inside their houses, even. My daughter is determined that we will have a meal on a rooftop restaurant somewhere. I’m definitely getting pizza. We might even dine indoors! But I still haven’t resumed lunches with my retired friends from work because some of them won’t get vaccinated. I don’t need that kind of attitude in my life…
(We only left off shopping while the stores were closed around here last spring. But with nowhere to go (due to online school), we didn’t buy much in the way of clothing, so it’s time to shop!)
I’m so glad you are doing these firsts and they are ones you can ease into. It helps that you are in an area that people are masking and vaccinating. I still jump when I see people who are maskless, especially when Maddy and Teddy are with me. The vaccination rates near us are good, but I’m well aware that not everyone who can vaccinate easily (not prohibited by access or conflict) is.
May your post-pandemic firsts continue to be positive experiences.
It does feel weird, even as someone who has been fully vaxxed for months now. I don’t do much without a mask, and I’m not super comfortable in a crowded store at all. It’s not that I’m scared…idk I saw germs on every public surface before…now it’s not so much the germs but that I was content not being around most people! Maybe that’s what I’ve learned from the pandemic, which should have been a comment on a different post but there it is!
So much easier to give up than add back. It felt like the rules were so clear – everything must go. Now every decision feels big again. We also recently started going in to my parents’ home and it was very 2019, in a good way. But the school committee I’m on is planning a huge picnic in just a few months – and the school is entirely under age 12 so it’s a lot of unvaccinated individuals. I feel like I am the only one (crazily, apparently) pointing out that just because something is now allowed doesn’t mean it’s a good idea.
I could not agree with you more, I was trying to figure out what it was but your nailed it. “it was less stressful to give things up in 2020 than it has been to add them back in 2021.”
thank you!!
I like the description of walking on a healed foot…yes, exactly like that. And so weird in some ways that these things ever felt normal to us. It’s important to be gentle with yourself while testing your boundaries. <3
I love to hear of these firsts, even though the idea of them blow my mind, despite having known the theory that this was what you were going through.
I love that last line… So true. It’s so weird how quickly things have reverted to “normal” and how uncomfortable it is. It gets easier, but so weird. I have yet to do an inside thing at a house, still outside all the way. I’m glad you’re having these firsts, and family get togethers are feeling more 2019. I’m hopeful that there can be more normalcy but also feeling that impending shoe drop feeling where I don’t fully trust things will be truly okay. Yet.
100% agree! And thank you for being here and giving the gift of your writing and support during a lonely chapter of life for me. I’m happy when I see you posted.
“In many ways, it was less stressful to give things up in 2020 than it has been to add them back in 2021.” I totally get this. We just got our second shots a few days ago. BIL & SIL have already been visiting cousins… they were at the mall today (masks still required) and suggested we should all go eat out on a patio. Dh told them MAYBE once the two-week wait is over. I guess everyone has their own comfort zone when it comes to stuff like this… Aside from going to see Little Great-Nephew and the occasional visit to the drugstore or bookstore (when it’s been open), I’ve barely been out of the house in 16 months, and I’m just not comfortable leaping back into things immediately. Masking compliance & vaccination rates are pretty good around here — but the Delta variant is here too, and it’s not something you want to mess around with, vaccinated or not.
I missed you today, and read through back through posts and stopped here. This idea that it was easier to let go than to add back struck me. It concisely says what we have been feeling for a few months now. When is it ok? How do I feel? I will openly acknowledge that some of our decisions on what not to do are 100% emotion driven because we are still remembering what last year was like. But then one day I ate at a restaurant – inside. It was ok, but also the next few meals out were outside only. For us, it’s maybe adding it back, but allowing ourselves to remove again if it doesn’t feel right the next time.