Hierarchy of Self Care
I read a really interesting piece, posted long ago, where a person created a hierarchy of self care. The base of the triangle were the most basic things that had to happen so the next level up could happen and so forth.
I tried to imagine what my own hierarchy would look like, and it made me wonder why I don’t prioritizing the lower base so the upper tiers can happen.
Because at the very bottom is sleep. I don’t get enough sleep. I don’t prioritize sleep. I don’t put down the book at the end of the night and turn off the lights. I’m much more likely to stay up and try to finish so I can start a new book tomorrow. So sleep—the base that needs to happen so I have the energy for the next tier.
On the same tier is alone time. It’s as important if not more important than sleep. I can’t function to do all the other things above it without alone time.
Next up is another two-fold tier: eating things I enjoy (that are healthful) and exercise (yoga and walking). If I’m eating a bunch of stuff I don’t enjoy, I’m in a miserable mood, and if I can’t exercise and close the rings on my watch, I feel anxious. So these two things need to happen daily.
Next up from that is meditation. It’s foundational. I meditate at least once a day. On hard days, I toss in a second or third session.
Next up from that cleaning. An odd one because I often don’t feel like cleaning, but organizing, cleaning, even showering, makes me feel 10 times better.
Next tier is time with others: Josh, the twins, Beorn, family, friends, etc. I save up energy with alone time and spend it on together time.
And the top point of the self care triangle is reading. And games. But mostly reading. Still, I like to be challenged by crossword puzzles or Sudoku or match-3 games, and I play them daily. That’s the time when I feel my best.
Games and Reading
Time with Others
Cleaning
Meditation
Eating Things I Enjoy and Exercise
Sleep and Alone Time
What does your triangle look like?
3 comments
Hmm. I know the things that feel restorative for me, but I’m not sure I’d be able to rank them in this way.
Over the past year-ish, the times I have felt the best physically and mentally have been when I am feeding myself healthful foods 85%+ of the time, exercising at least 30 minutes a day/5 days a week, sleeping 7.5-8 hours a night, and meditating at least 5-10 minutes a day. I am an extrovert and find being with other people restorative, too.
I had really missed seeing people outside my immediate household during the pandemic, so as more of my friends are getting vaccinated, I have been meeting up with some of them for happy hours and lunches. (Even during the pandemic, I had a few outdoor, distanced get-togethers and one friend I walked with on local trails most Saturday mornings.)
Reading is a constant in my life, but I’ve found myself struggling to read non-fiction books or anything “heavy” over the past year. The result of this has been reading much more romance/chick lit than usual and some fun mysteries while my unread non-fiction books wait on my shelf.
I really really like this. Thank you for sharing. I’m going to brainstorm some ideas in my journal. I know sleep is foundational for me, but I want to think about what else I need. Eating regularly/decently, showering… Those are foundational. Decluttering too. Saying how I really feel has been freeing lately. Sewing is somewhere on there, more at the top. Yes, I am going to think on this idea. Thank you!
I definitely NEED more sleep, but chronic, horrific pain makes that an impossibility. After 30 years I’ve pretty much accepted that. I absolutely make sure I shower and exercise. I need that to feel like I can eat anything I enjoy. But the rest of my self care would involve being starved of time with people after the last year- I am so starved for people.