Without Words
I have run out of words. At the beginning of the pandemic, there were tons of words. Every conversation was about COVID-19. Even in the middle of the pandemic, there were many words. We were discussing the people who were behaving as if we weren’t in a pandemic and the variants and the vaccine rollout. We were talking about in-person school vs. remote learning.
But I’ve run out of words. I feel like I’ve hit a word wall.
More than any other time in the pandemic, I feel depleted, like I’m a battery being charged with the wrong cord. It’s getting the job done, but it’s not getting the job done well. And the device is getting messed up in the process.
Introverts need alone time to recharge, and I haven’t gotten much of it this past year. I can be alone in our room, but I still know other people are in the house. And the truth is, I don’t want them to go out. So I am continuing to recharge using the figurative wrong cord. And it leaves me tired and without words.
12 comments
This has been an extremely exhausting time. Hugs friend
I’m with you – there’s just nothing to talk about because no one can do anything. There’s no escaping people because no one can go anywhere. (Obviously, there are alternatives, but I don’t have the energy to pursue them.)
Send the fam out on a drive and tell them they have to be gone for at least an hour. And they have to report back with interesting sights, but they can’t leave your town.
Also, I was going a bit stir-crazy, but then my paint-by-numbers kit came in. I worked on it in our basement (where no one goes without a purpose any more – my husband used to work on stuff down there, but he’s given that up for now) and it was very relaxing. I ordered 2 more and am anxiously awaiting their arrival. (They’re at the mercy of the USPS right now, and sometimes that’s a problem here.)
{{{{HUGS}}}}
It’s been a difficult year plus. My emotions and coping ability have waxed and waned. I’ve had (a few) good days, some bad days, and a lot of meh days.
I relate to your analogy of being a battery being charged with the wrong cord. I am almost always tired, no matter how much I sleep. Even with meticulous self care (adequate sleep and regular exercise, nutritious diet, meditation, supportive friends and family), I don’t feel rested.
(Primal scream)
(Mostly directed at the world which thought anything other than a covid zero approach was a good idea and the fools pushing for schools to open despite, OH YEAH, looks like kids ARE getting and spreading it at schools and also my state which wants to FULLY open June 15)
😱😱😱😱😱😱
Sending hugs. More hugs. Lots of hugs. COVID-free, safe, virtual hugs. Take care of yourself. Don’t burn out. We can cope without as many of your words for a while if you’re fading.
We’re all so much more burned out than we realize. It will take time to bounce back but I believe we can. Wishing you some healing peace of mind, a vaccine soon, and mental freedom that comes from believing that normalcy is around the corner.
I’m feeling the same. It’s a lot of effort to hold a real conversation and I just don’t want to right now. I’m tired and there’s nothing new or good to talk about.
So sorry. I feel you. I feel being outside in our yard or a walk around our neighborhood helps.
Yes. Same.
Ironically, my car died and is in the shop right now. It’s something electrical that’s draining my battery. Even my car can’t recharge right now.
I like a’s idea of sending the family out for a drive. Maybe they can do a visual scavenger hunt? Or play the ABC game (where everyone looks for the letters of the alphabet in order and the first one to get to Z wins)? To honor everyone’s depletion, I’m sure there are plenty of ideas on the internet so no one has to think of anything on their own.
I am so tired. I am so thankful for the blogosphere, the one place in my life that is making sense right now. We don’t need words. We are a group of people that are used to not having a language to describe our experiences. It’s just one more area where infertility has made us an expert.
Me too.
Yes, me too. I feel like the best word for me right now is DEPLETED. I am exhausted. I feel my motivation sapping. It’s so hard to be in this space for so long and to not see an end to it in sight. 💗 Take care, I hope the right cord becomes available sooner than later
I was saying something like this today in staff meeting. I don’t have any more agenda items. It’s not that there aren’t things to talk about; I just can’t any more. I need a break. and not just a fake break when the other stuff piles up, but a real break when people respect my space. Sending huge hugs, Mel, and holding space for you where no words are necessary. <3