Fear of a Better Option
Patrick McGinnis coined the term FOMO—fear of missing out—but he also coined a second term: FOBO or fear of a better option. That understanding that the other option may have been the better option. FOBO kicks in while making the decision and lingers after in the form of self-doubt (and maybe regret).
Four minute video break:
✨ Turned this one into a lil' video ✨
• What is FOBO?
• Signs you have FOBO
• What to do about it
• And of course the little "squishy squishy"! 🧠https://t.co/jcBr1oNQ6Z— Anne-Laure Le Cunff (@anthilemoon) April 8, 2021
I think I’m the worst combination: a satisficer who also dabbles in regret.
Though I like the idea of looking at all FOBO with the knowledge that we don’t have complete information, even though we are behaving as if we do. We can’t possibly know how the option not taken would turn out. We may be more miserable living that other choice.
A good fact to remember.
3 comments
As a “maximizer” I have definitely struggled with FOBO regarding a variety of choices over my adulthood (career, second career, romantic relationships, where to live, and more). IME, there are a few problems with FOBO, one of which is “analysis paralysis.” I would sometimes get so caught up in thinking about every single possible option that I would be unable to make a decision. UGH
One thing that is great about my current stage of life is that I am settled in my career, home, and personal life, so I no longer have to make big decisions that provoke these feelings.
I rarely have buyer’s remorse (unless I buy a pair of shoes that turn out to be too uncomfortable to wear), but I do like to feel I’ve eliminated possible better options, so suffer a little from FOBO when I’m in the decision-making process (especially if I’m travel planning). But not to excess. In other words, I like to check out other options, but don’t think I suffer from analysis paralysis. So I think I’m a mix between a maximiser and a satisficer. My main problem is having to make joint decisions with my husband. Sometimes we’re good and can make instant decisions. Other times, we are not!
Squishy squishy! This reminds me so much of The Midnight Library by Matt Haig, and the Book of Regrets. I like making t-charts, but not making decisions drives me nuts, so I don’t think I suffer from FOBO. I can get so irritated when we are deciding something and spend more time weighing the merits than actually doing anything. I like to research and make a choice. But during Infertility? Total FOBO. Who knew there was a name for it?