Revenge Bedtime Procrastination
The article stated: “You know that thing where you stubbornly stay up late for no reason because you feel like you didn’t get any time to yourself?” Um… yes. Like what I did last night? And the night before that? And the night before that? We always stay up too late because I work too late (or to-do-list-checking-off too late), and I end up feeling like I didn’t get down time. So we stay up and read a few chapters, even though we should be sleeping.
I feel seen.
I don’t necessarily feel like I don’t have control of my daytime hours:
Learned a very relatable term today: “報復性熬夜” (revenge bedtime procrastination), a phenomenon in which people who don’t have much control over their daytime life refuse to sleep early in order to regain some sense of freedom during late night hours.
— Daphne K. Lee (@daphnekylee) June 28, 2020
But I definitely feel like my daytime hours are too full, and I really really really want to read a few chapters in a book.
The solution? “Ryan and Shapiro both recommend carving out breaks while it’s still light outside—calendaring them in and taking them seriously. Ryan, knowing that later in the evening she’ll be busy with her kids, builds 15 minute segments into her workday. ‘I shut my office door, I put my music on, and I just breathe,’ she says. But it would be okay to use that time just to watch half a TV show, she adds.”
I’m not sure that will work for me because I already take 15 minutes to myself at the start of the day. Maybe it’s enough to know other people are doing it, too.
8 comments
I hear about this phenomenon from friends, but I can honestly say I don’t engage in it. . . probably because I value getting a full night’s sleep more than getting through my to-do list, or having more time to myself. I do occasionally stay up later than I should if I am near the end of a particularly compelling book, but usually I am able to make myself put even a good book aside until the next day, if reading a few more chapters means I will be tired in the morning.
I’m definitely at the point in my life where sleep is held above almost everything! I was in bed at 8pm last night 😅 Full disclosure .. I was up at 530 for work & was getting up at 530am this morning!
When I was an overly scheduled teenager, this definitely applied to me. I felt like I didn’t have any downtime to myself. Of course we didn’t have cell phones to scroll back then (thankfully). But I would stay up too late and read or do arts and crafts just to get a break.
Me with baths. Like after the kids go to bed and I take care of whatever needs taking care of, there’s time for working out or a long bath. And then I want to take a long bath anyway when I work out.
At least I’m wasting less time doom-scrolling these days, now that Biden is president.
Yes to bedtime procrastination.
The only time I have to myself is after kids go to bed. Also, I’ve always been a night owl, so even if I force myself to go to bed early, I can’t fall asleep.
After kids are in bed, my husband and I can watch grown-up shows and movies (can’t really watch something like Sopranos or True Blood with kids running around!). We talk (without interruptions! luxury!). I read, or daydream, or take long showers.
It used to be that I would take the time from when the kid went to bed until ~10 as my downtime. I’d have a good 2 hours most nights, and no one could guilt me out of them. Now that I’m only working 3 days, and the kid is a teen doing chores for $$$, I only need that downtime on workdays.
If I don’t get destressing time, I get migraines. I know what I need and try to make sure I can get it.
Yep, I do this. My kids are home in virtual school all day. I feel like my schedule is never my own. I don’t even feel like I can calendar in a specific down time because it’s unpredictable when there will be a computer crash or a change in one of their schedules (and they’re in elementary so they’re too young for me to just tune them out and hope they get it right). So I stay up.
So THAT’s what it’s called!! 😉 I definitely relate. I don’t work any more, I don’t have kids, so it’s not like I don’t have a lot of free time on my hands, or control over it. But I don’t get a lot of time that’s totally “me” — especially now with the pandemic. Dh often goes to bed earlier than I do, and that’s when I just stay up for an hour or so longer, aimlessly bouncing around the Internet and switching TV channels. (I think that’s part of the appeal… *I* get to control the remote!! lol)