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The Enough Worth-It Line

I recently read Anxious People by Fredrik Backman, and it was lovely. I’ll unpack the book more when I review the books for the month in mid-December. But it was one of those books that I covered in multiple underlined passages. I hate to repeat the word again, mostly because it also sounds (and, frankly, is) wishy-washy, but they were really lovely thoughts that popped up where I didn’t expect them.

One of them came on page 259, when the police officer remembers his mother’s words:

“We can’t change the world, and a lot of the time we can’t even change people. No more than one bit at a time. So we do what we can to help whenever we get the chance, sweetheart. We save those we can. We do our best. Then we try to find a way to convince ourselves that we will just have to… be enough. So we can live with our failures without drowning.”

No more than one bit at a time. And that has to be enough.

It begs the question: where is the “worth it” line when it comes to enough; the small acts we can do that barely impact the world or even other humans, but they’re what is left in our control. For instance, we recycle all recyclable items. But even if everyone recycled all recyclable item, it may not be enough to impact the environment because recycling isn’t the panacea we were promised it would be. Don’t get me wrong—it’s still the right thing to do. But recycling isn’t the same as not using plastic items in the first place. It’s a better act that comes with its own limitations, still impacting the environment only less-so.

So that is what I mean by the worth-it line. Is recycling worth it? It’s a small act that costs nothing except a little extra time. So, yes, even if the impact is tiny, it’s worth it. Though the worth is tempered by the fact that everyone needs to do it to have an impact. Is one person recycling all the recyclable items worth it?

It feels like the worth of the act is only defined by not doing it. That reaching out to another person may not change anything at all, but not reaching out to another person will almost definitely have a negative impact if they’re suffering. That recycling may not change anything at all, but not recycling will almost definitely have a negative impact by being one more item taking up space in a landfill. So the worth-it line is eternally set as something-is-better-than-nothing.

Even when something isn’t enough.

3 comments

1 a { 11.29.20 at 8:04 am }

I loved Anxious People so much that I’m giving it to my friend for Christmas. It was so moving and funny and sad and full of truths about life and relationships.

I guess I’ve had the “worth it” idea in my head for a long time. Whether it’s being polite to people I do not like (costs me nothing, generally, but sometimes I wonder if I should be more upfront about how I feel. Then I remember that polite and nice are two different things and people can still tell when I don’t like them. I still scream at them from my car though.) or recycling or going beyond the bare minimum when asked to do things, I measure the cost of doing it. I know that the return is always in how I think of myself rather than in any tangible or intangible benefit.

2 Mali { 11.29.20 at 6:16 pm }

Oooh, I’m going to have to look for this book.

It’s funny, though. I was thinking about that idea of “what is enough?” about my life this morning before I read your post. Accepting that what I have done in my career or my volunteer work or my writing is enough, especially or maybe only when it has been well-intentioned and kind.

3 Jess { 12.03.20 at 8:26 pm }

I need to read this book. I was angry at A Man Called Ove, but loved My Grandmother Asked Me to Tell You She’s Sorry and Britt-Marie Was Here.

I’m totally agreeing with “something-is-better-than-nothing” — it’s like the starfish story where a boy is throwing starfish back into the ocean and a man asks him why he bothered when there are so many it can’t possibly matter, and the boy throws another one back in the water and said, “it mattered to that one.”

(c) 2006 Melissa S. Ford
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