Election Day
Josh asked what we were going to do today. On a normal year, we’d climb into bed after dinner and watch the returns with the kids. And that’s what we decided to do again, even though we know that we will likely go to bed without knowing the winner. Some information is better than no information, and it was weird enough voting by mail this year. Not watching election coverage would be even weirder.
I am nervous about the wait. I am also nervous about results and what comes next, after the results are in. So it’s just a big, simmering pot of nervousness, and there’s nothing left to do but wait and hope.
Four years ago, I was so excited for Election Day. Excited to vote, excited to watch the returns… I mean… until reality set in and Josh vomited and I sat crouched on the floor all night, refreshing the news on my phone because I couldn’t believe everything was really happening. I have none of that excitement today. It’s just my jaw firmly set, eyes forward, trying not to get carried away by any single piece of information.
Let’s get through today and tomorrow and the next day until we know, shall we?
5 comments
Yes. The not knowing is terrible for anxiety, and there’s no way to know anything today really, so constant numbers-watching just feeds the beast. So hard to step away, but necessary for sanity! Normally today we vote and then go out for dinner. Maybe we can get takeout to try to have some normalcy! 🤮 I really hope this goes the way of humanity, civility, and decency.
Yes. PTSD. I remember listening to KGO on the radio on the drive from work to pick up my kids from school and daycare…the hosts sounded a little worried by then. Then driving to a local store to pick up cat food around 6:30 pm and listening again. Hosts were in a state of disbelief. An awful awful night. Followed by four years unimaginably far far worse than our worst fears.
My husband and I are both kinda political junkies, so we generally watch the election returns beginning early-ish in the evening (we live in the MST time zone, so the polls on the east coast have already closed when we’re eating dinner). I vividly remember watching the 2008 election returns with him and with my mother and our excitement at seeing Obama elected and his acceptance speech.
The last presidential election is another story which does not bear repeating. I will say that, thanks to lots of pro-Trump high school classmates and extended family members, I was not as gobsmacked as many of my (mostly liberal) friends, though I was still unpleasantly surprised as the networks started calling states like Florida and Michigan for Trump.
This year? My husband is going to a local sports bar with friends to watch the election returns because I told him I’m not going to watch. AT ALL. For the sake of my mental healthy, I am going to meet friends for coffee, pick up a healthy dinner for myself and my kids, and watch a movie once my kids are in bed.
No news. No social media. I don’t want to put myself through it.
I’m watching returns as I multitask. I’m resigned to the possibility that we may not know for a bit. Feels a little like a precipice. Of what? I don’t know.
Sigh…
I know we’ll get through this. We will. Because we all have. I think living with infertility and loss has taught us all the futility and the beauty and the need for hope. That isn’t to say this moment in time isn’t painful. Feels an awful lot like the two week wait. :-/