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Mental Sampler 22

Sometimes, when I have a difficult email to write, I ask the ChickieNob to tell me what to say. She is excellent at setting firm, unapologetic boundaries. She is like a mini, young Violet from Downton Abbey—never complain, never explain—but she is fantastically polite and words things so succinctly that there is zero room for pushback afterward. I want to be her when I grow up.

I told her she should offer this service to others. People would pay $5 to have her draft the perfect response to an email that has been sitting, unanswered, in an inbox for days, producing high anxiety. But she insists that she can only do it for people and situations she knows.

It has been extremely useful to have her at home because I can hover on the stairs while she’s working and hoarsely whisper, “Wait, what am I supposed to say again?” See, a small, silver lining.

*******

I need to get it on video, but Beorn LOVES bedtime. Loves it with his whole body. We have a ritual, and when I start it, his whole body starts quivering in anticipation. First, I make a little extra pile of hay in case he wants a midnight snack and doesn’t feel like walking to the hay bowl. Then I plump up the bedding near the hay so he’s comfortable. Finally, I put down his hidey house so he can sip from his water bottle without exiting.

And then he goes bananas with happiness.

First, he runs into the hidey house to check everything out. Then he runs out and popcorns while wheeking. Then he jumps on top of the hidey house. Then he jumps off and runs around in circles for five solid minutes, pausing for a second to nibble a particularly delicious-looking piece of hay, and then return to expressing his happiness that it’s bedtime.

We’ve tried softly telling him to calm down. And we’ve tried sternly telling him that it’s time for bed. But he cannot stop expressing his excitement. Especially if the Wolvog is watching him. Especially if the Wolvog laughs. It’s like the whole thing is a performance to make the Wolvog crack up.

Josh muses that it is good someone is happy to go to bed in the house. The rest of us are terrible at getting to sleep.

*******

I am rewatching season 3 of The Crown in anticipation of season 4 coming out in mid-November. I forgot major pieces of the story because we originally watched the season quickly. It is much more enjoyable the second time around.

5 comments

1 a { 10.27.20 at 8:13 am }

The ChickieNob is going to be a great boss someday.

Beorn’s bedtime ritual sounds very entertaining, although not at all relaxing. Maybe he needs to exhaust himself in order to sleep?

2 Beth { 10.27.20 at 12:49 pm }

I love everything about this post. The ChickieNob is amazing. And celebrating going to bed? Animals know where it’s at. My cats try to herd us into bed hours before we are ready because they, too, are excited to blissfully conk out. The rest of us are not as good at it. At all. But we would all definitely benefit for being more excited for sleep.

3 Lori Lavender Luz { 10.27.20 at 3:38 pm }

You have the most amazing creatures in your family. To be a fly on your wall….

4 Working mom of 2 { 10.27.20 at 7:04 pm }

I have several work emails/letters that I could use Chickienob for right now.

My cats like to play hockey/soccer after everyone has gone to bed, after napping all day. 😸

5 Jess { 11.02.20 at 4:24 pm }

Oooh, crafting solid emails is such a great skill! And oh man, I would love to see a video of Beorn getting ready for bed, but also I can picture it perfectly from your description!

(c) 2006 Melissa S. Ford
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