Mental Sampler 20
We bought a fan that blows directly on me in bed. It is a game changer. (All my middle-aged ladies, amirite?) I’m still waking up from hot flashes, but when I wake up, I am greeted by a cool breeze blowing over me, and I can get back to sleep quickly. I pretend that I am on a beautiful island, and I have left my window open, allowing the cool night wind to blow through our bedroom. I am good at pretending.
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This article by FiveThirtyEight—”Every Decision Is a Risk. Every Risk Is a Decision.”—perfectly sums up how I feel. Every decision I make feels weighty. And everything I do is a choice. It is my choice to wear a mask in the parking lot, my choice to not go on walks with friends, my choice to still do human-free volunteering. There are so few needs out there, and a shit-ton of wants that we pass off as needs. I take a long, hard look at my choices each week and weigh them out; what I can live with. What I can’t.
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The twins school is virtual until late January 2021. I am relieved and sad. The twins had already decided not to go back if school was held in-person, so they knew they would be home. So this makes it easier because everyone will be home, and they won’t feel pulled emotionally in different directions hearing about friends’ experiences. On the other hand, I am really sad for them. Provided they truly go back in January, they will have been home for ten-and-a-half months. If they don’t go back for the second semester, they may miss out on a year or more in a school building. This is just a really weird thought.
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My girl is also opting for virtual. She’s planning on possibly attending Cross Country practice and meets, but we shall see how that works out.
I don’t get hot flashes so much as night sweats. A fan would not help with that and I’m generally freezing most of the time anyway. I’m glad you have a solution, though.
Decisions are weighty of late. It’s exhausting.
And it’s so open-ended. I’m not even allowing myself to think about when we’ll be back to “normal” because the virus has died out (as in NZ) or because we have a vaccine and the ability to vaccinate everyone.
I just can’t see how this plays out. So I can’t think beyond these waning summer months and into winter. Just can’t.
Oh yes, a fan can be a life-saver! I hate hate hate being too hot to sleep.
I’m both glad for the twins and you – because you don’t have to make a decision and that they will still have that feeling of community with their schoolmates AND remain safe – and sad that they won’t be together with their friends. It made me think though – fast forward 10 or 20 years, and when the twins look back on this time, I wonder what they will think. Will they say that the time gave them new self-reliant/independent life skills learning to be okay in their own company (though I suspect they were good at that anyway), will they look back on this as a really special time with their parents, or will they think that it hurt them? I suspect (hope?) it will be one of the first two.
I saw that article when it first came out and it really spoke to me.
I’m glad you didn’t have to make a decision about school. We’re really struggling with what to do.
We always sleep with a fan, but it’s Bryce who gets hot at night. We got one of those air exchange splits so we can have AC in the bedroom only, which is good because he likes it insanely cold. Oof to risks and decisions. I still have not been inside a store, inside someone’s home, or inside a restaurant (even outside eating at a restaurant). I’m just not comfortable. So the thought of school makes me feel ill. We’re hybrid, as of now. I’m glad that the twins’ decision was then everyone’s choice for the reasons you said. It does dying to lose so much normalcy. Thinking of you all!
Suck! It sucks to lose normalcy! Stupid autocorrect.
The air vents in our condo unit are in or near the ceiling, blowing down/out (versus in the floor & blowing up, as they were in the house). And the one in the bedroom is almost directly at the foot of the bed on the side where I sleep. I’m fine when it’s blowing on me, but when it stops, I can sometimes get hot, lol.