Forgetting the Now
People have been restarting their blogs. Or posting updates on Facebook with specific notes that they want to remember this experience. I’ve tried to record thoughts here or in my bullet journal as much as possible.
It’s a weird thing to want to remember; this time period ranges from boring to scary to sad. But forgetting feels equally terrible. I’m living it; I want to remember it.
Apparently, we probably won’t.
Or, I won’t. People who are at home won’t.
“For many of us—especially those isolating at home—memory researchers say it’s more likely it will become a blur … Those on the frontlines, like healthcare workers, will remember it differently. They’ll witness the toll on human life firsthand and emotions like grief, fear, and anxiety will heighten their memories.”
It’s harder to hold memories in the brain when every day blends. One part of the article states: “We’re likely to merge together many different memories—ending up with a generic sense of what it was like, and we may struggle to come up with specific event memories later on.”
Is it important to remember? I mean, it isn’t like remembering your hand being burned so you don’t touch the stove again. We’ll remember the big things, such as making sure we have certain items in the house “just in case” or giving each other physical space while out in public. We just may not remember all the individual moments that we’re talking about right now. We may not remember the individual press conferences, though I think I’ll always remember the way the local grocery store manager cheered us on every single morning via Facebook.
Though maybe not her individual posts.
Are you doing anything to try to hold on to the memories of this time period? Or are you letting them float past, knowing you’ll hold on to the general feeling if not the day-to-day memories?
9 comments
I’ve been blogging since 2005, and once in a while I summon the courage to read old posts. Reading about how awful the post-partum period was with my daughter convinced me not to have a second kid during residency, which… I remember it was awful, but not as awful as I did after I reminded myself by reading what I had written. SO glad I didn’t make that mistake. I definitely think I will remember, but I am also a healthcare worker (though not ICU, fortunately).
I’ve also been blogging since … I guess around 2005 or 2006. I record almost everything important because I don’t want to forget what it was like living in the moment. So the Great Recession (layoff, long period of unemployment, the job hunt, and all the feelings around those stressful events), the changes in my mentality, my whole partum and post-partum period, all of those are recorded memories. This is no different. I’m going to want to remember the reality of this someday. Just to know.
Interesting thought. I’m not on social media and don’t blog. But I did take a photo of my daughter and I going for a walk last wearing masks. I’ve taken some photos of my kids doing distance learning, from my work station. So I am capturing some of it.
Well, I’ve never stopped blogging since October 2007 😉 but yes, it’s been nice to see some old friends come out of the woodwork & dust off their blogs. 😉 And I’ve been racking up one post after another lately, the vast majority of them pandemic-related in at least some way. I tend to be a memory keeper anyway — I haven’t done any actual journalling in years, but I post on my blog & a couple of private groups, I take photos, I used to scrapbook. I don’t have any kids to leave my memories to, but it’s cathartic for me to write them down. And generally, I think it’s important we leave some record of what we did and how we felt and what life was like during this time. I would love to know more about how my family members survived the 1918 influenza pandemic, but all the relatives from that time are gone now, and so far I have not found any letters or diaries, etc., that would tell me.
I keep saying that I am going to write a journal to help me remember, but to be honest, I am so busy most of the time that I haven’t gotten around to it.
I, on the other hand, have restarted my OTHER anonymous blog (how many of these do I have) which I use to write porn. I wish to remember nothing.
Memory is fascinating. What we remember, what we don’t and how the memory gets edited.
I am going to try to write a few day in the life entries so I have a some memories captured. Just because life is so vastly different. Also I’m (cautiously) pleased with how I’ve coped with the whole boondoggle. It hasn’t been terribly upsetting or traumatic so far, just strange and requiring a lot of adapting and thinking on my feet.
I’ve also been blogging since 2006, and enjoy reading my old posts. I don’t always blog in detail about what I’m going through -but I do mark major events. I’ve written a couple of posts about the pandemic, but more about activities at home. I think I’ll do one about how I feel about it sometime soon, because you’re right – it is worth recording.
That’s fascinating, how the memory works, and what it chooses to encode with specificity or with a sense of the general.
I am journaling about it. But now that I read here, I don’t think I’m capturing the day-to-day ordinariness. Which 3 months ago would have been extraordinary.