My Joy Audit
I may stop reading a book when I’m still near the beginning, but once I’m a third of the way through, I generally stick with it, even if I’m not enjoying myself. That is notable because I stopped reading a book (that I was a third of the way through) after I had the most amazing day last week.
I woke up and took my time drinking my coffee while reading in bed. I ate bread and butter without thinking about the calories. I meditated. I grabbed water ice with the ChickieNob and then bought myself six books at the used bookstore. I watched television. I started a new book, got several chapters in… and decided I hated it.
And then I felt depressed because my amazing day was over.
I don’t take days off. I usually work part of each weekend day, and if I’m not working, I’m volunteering or running errands or doing something for someone else. But I decided I needed this––a full day for myself. But that final book: I thought I would love it, and I felt like I should read it because it was connected to a project I’m working on. But it was like ending the perfect day by walking through literary mud. This book was a slog. And it was irritating. But I kept it going until bed.
Until the next day when my cousin pointed out that I should (1) stop reading it and (2) read the newish Anthony Horowitz book instead that I knew I would love. Because holding books for a future time is pointless. Read the books you’re excited to read now because there will always be new books you’re excited about in the future. It made me think about how I used to save my Halloween candy as a kid, waiting for a better time to eat it in the future. It would inevitably go bad and be tossed months down the road. Uneaten.
Letting books sit there unread for some future point when I’ll be more deserving of joy? Saving candy for some time in the future when I’ll be more worthy of the calories? Tucking away every small thing that could make me happy for a future point that I almost never acknowledge is here? THAT is a recipe for burnout.
I got the Anthony Horowitz book. I am loving it hardcore.
The Guardian had an article a few weeks ago about doing a joy audit. These words got under my skin: “Many of us treat joy like the good china, only warranted on special occasions. Even if we know it is within our reach, we may not see it is within our control.” So many things aren’t under my control, but which books I read (and taking days to myself) are.
So there’s that. And the article has good ideas if you’re looking to bring more joy into your life.
5 comments
Life is too short to read bad (ie not enjoyable) books! I was like you – I couldn’t imagine not finishing a book I’d started. It felt like a waste – even if it was a library book! But in recent years, I’ve given myself permission not to finish them. Life is so much better now I don’t beat myself up that way!
I couldn’t have been you with the candy (lollies, in our palance) – though on the rare occasion I bought them with pocket money, I would deliberately buy ones that would last the longest. And then I savoured them!
Now I’m off to read the article.
Before I had kids, I would finish pretty much any book I started, whether or not I was enjoying it. Now my reading time is much more limited, and I will stop any book, at any point in the book, if I’m not enjoying it. (If I’m curious to know how the book ends, and that’s the only thing keeping me reading, it’s easy enough to either skip ahead or find a review with spoilers on the internet.)
Life is too short — and my “Want to Read” list is too long — to waste on books that don’t keep me interested.
Ooh I needed to see this today. I also let my halloween candy rot over the months, “saving up” for a special day. My older son does this, too, while the younger one eats all his favorites immediately. I do this a lot with clothes, food, books…. I was inspired to quit a “meh” book and start one I had been “saving”. Maybe tomorrow I’ll wear the new pants I bought 2 months ago that I haven’t worn yet. So thanks!
My kid hid all of her Halloween candy this year, so her terrible parents wouldn’t eat it all. She pulled it out last month, I think – it was gone in a week. 😀
I think my Goodreads To-Read list is now my Books I Feel Like I Might Want To Read But If I Never Get To Them It’s Fine place. So, I can stop any book whenever it starts to annoy me, because there are 600+ more that I might enjoy.
That Guardian quote speaks to me, too. I did the same thing with Halloween candy that you did.
I feel less guilty about not finishing a book this week, so thanks for that!