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A Place Where Everybody Know Your Name

We skipped a bunch of months going to Chincoteague, some of it a conscious decision and some of it just logistics. So August was our first time back on the island after many months. We kept hearing the same refrain: Where have you been? And while it felt a little awkward to explain why we had been away, it was really nice that people noticed that we weren’t there. It made me feel like we had reached an in-between zone. We weren’t locals, but we weren’t tourists. We were infrequent locals or regular tourists. Infrocals? Regists?

Anyway, it made us feel like our presence mattered–not just for the money we were putting into the local economy but because they liked us enough to remember us month-by-month.

It made me want to not let so much time pass between visits.

*******

Josh decided that we needed to become regulars somewhere close. I used to be a regular at the coffeehouse inside a bookstore, so much so that they named their chocolate egg cream after me. (Mel’s Egg Cream… okay… maybe not that exciting, but still.) And we’re regulars at a nearby water ice place. But a few years ago, he decided that he wanted us to become regulars at this small, family-owned Italian restaurant, and we’ve done a good enough job that the owner stops by the table and plays catch-up when we come in but not good enough that they can guess our order. Yet.

Where are you a regular?

9 comments

1 Charlotte { 09.18.19 at 9:04 am }

This reminds me a lot of my childhood…my dad was a “regular” everywhere we went, everyone knew his face and name. From car dealerships to several different restaurants, to the local flower shop. The owners from our local Chinese restaurant I introduced my parents to when I was in high school, they came to his funeral.
So we are “regulars” at our indoor swimming pool in our beach community, because we have visited there long enough that they recognize us and are friendly with us.
At home, we are regulars at our local Chinese place, but it’s hard to miss us because we are quite the scene walking in. There are employees who know me at the different stores we frequent, which isn’t much but it’s nice to walk in to a friendly face or someone to chat with while they ring your order.
I miss going into restaurants with my dad and having super special service, like non-menu chef specialty items brought to our table without having to ask. Sigh.

2 Working mom of 2 { 09.18.19 at 2:40 pm }

We are regulars at the local skating rink and our gym/pool.

We live in a relatively small town so it’s hard to go anywhere without running into someone from our kids’ school, or their old preschool and even our old parent baby group. And also people from work…

3 a { 09.18.19 at 3:08 pm }

The library, the post office, a convenience store, the Walgreen’s near work, the human society…there’s a few places I visit all the time.

4 Beth { 09.18.19 at 4:50 pm }

The library and our local Thai restaurant. They know us and are all even more upset than I am that both kids are now in school full time – so if I stop in during the day, they aren’t with me.

At the Thai restaurant they greet us with spring rolls and confirm our usual order, rather than take our order. The library circulation clerks pull out my holds before I even make it to the desk. It’s nice to feel special.

5 Lindz { 09.18.19 at 5:09 pm }

We’re locals at the local Korean restaurant (we go every other week and regularly get extras that we didn’t order). There’s also the local comic book store where they will get our order from the back as we walk in and they make really good suggestions based on what we’ve gotten in the past.

6 Mali { 09.18.19 at 8:18 pm }

I lo0ve that feeling of being a regular somewhere, feeling part of it. Years ago, I was that way at a hotel in Manila, where they would welcome me back, and comment on my last trip, or what had been happening between trips to the Philippines.

Here at home, we’re regulars at the local cafe, where we get coffees and scones at least once a week. They always know what drinks we’re ordering, and usually guess which scones (mostly cheese, sometimes date). And just down the road is a restaurant, where we were regulars for brunch on the weekend. Since we’ve both ended contracts though, we don’t go as often. But the owners of course notice us, and we always have a chat. We got to the stage where they’ve given us passes to the business class lounge when we were travelling, because they weren’t going to use them.

One of my biggest thrills in Italy was becoming a regular at a restaurant in southern Italy, where we stayed for a month. I tried out my Italian on them, and on our last night (when they didn’t know it was our last night) they gave us aperitivos and said, “just for the locals.” I wanted to cry!

7 dubliner in deutschland { 09.19.19 at 11:26 am }

There’s an Asian place I often go for lunch to with colleagues and after awhile of going the lady used to guess my order which was nice but also showed how predictable I am!

8 loribeth { 09.19.19 at 3:31 pm }

In the small towns where I grew up, you pretty much expect/accept that everyone knows your name. 😉 You’re a regular because there’s probably only one or two grocery stores to shop at and restaurants to eat at! People there scoff at the cities because they’re so impersonal and full of strangers.

And yet, I worked in the same office tower in downtown Toronto from the time it opened about 30 years ago until I lost my job 5 years ago. I frequented the same coffee shops, where they got to know my orders & had them poured before I even opened my mouth, the same magazine stand (run by a father & son), where I knew the new magazines arrived on Thursdays before lunchtime, the same nail salon (which actually closed right around the same time I lost my job!). I saw the same people in the elevators every day. I’ve often thought about the people who used to work in the Twin Towers in NYC & survived 9-11… not only did they lose so many coworkers & loved ones, they also lost the place where they spent so much of their time, their familiar routines, etc. It must have been so disorienting.

We’ve been here 3+ years now, but we’ve become regulars at the local mega-bookstore (lol — are you surprised??), which also has a Starbucks in it. The baristas know our orders, and the bookstore clerks know I have a rare lifetime status rewards card. There’s a couple of other places (a cafe, a new Starbucks that just opened) nearby where I can see us becoming regulars, once the roadwork hereabouts is completed and we can walk there more easily.

Our hairdresser of about 15 years passed away a couple of years ago 🙁 but when she got sick, she asked one of the other stylists to take over her client list. So we’ve continued to go to that salon, in our old community, to have our hair cut. We know all the stylists and receptionists… it’s gotten so that I don’t even have to give them my name when I call for an appointment; they recognize my voice!!

9 Lori Lavender Luz { 09.20.19 at 9:43 pm }

We used to be regulars at a local Italian restaurant, but it closed a few years ago. So sad!

I do like being in places where people notice if you’re absent for awhile. I took a few months off a Saturday Zumba class and when I eventually went back, it was like homecoming. I didn’t even know I was a regular until I was irregular.

Glad you got to Chincoteague 🙂

(c) 2006 Melissa S. Ford
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