No Roundup: Virtual Lushary
The Roundup will be back next week, but I’m taking another break. (Again, please add great posts you read in the comment section, and I’ll pull them in next Friday’s Roundup.)
The last Virtual Lushary was in 2013, over six years ago. (Jump over there and enjoy the comment section, too!) We used to have them regularly, and then they became a dribble, and then they finally dried up. But I’m opening the door with the traditional Lushary welcome:
It has been a long time since we’ve caught up.
So pull up a seat at the virtual bar and fill us in on what has happened in your life recently. And if this is your first time at the bar, introduce yourself. We promise not to haze you.
It has been awhile since we met, bitched, cried, comforted, and caught up each other on our cycles and lives. Pull up a seat and I’ll pour you a drink. Let everyone know what is happening in your life. The good, the bad, the ugly. My only request is that if a story catches your eye, you follow it back to the person’s blog and start reading their posts. Give some love, give some support, or laugh with someone until your drink comes out of your nose.
I have a ton of assvice in my back pocket and as a virtual bartender, I will give it to you unless you specifically tell me that this is simply a vent and you do not want to receive anything more than a hug.
So if you have been a lurker for a while (or if this is your first open bar), sit down and tell us about yourself. Remember to provide a link or a way for people to continue reading your story (or if you don’t have a blog — gasp! — you can always leave an email address if you’re looking for advice or support. If not, people can leave messages for that person here in the comments section too). If you’re a regular at the bar, I’ll get out your engraved martini glass while you make yourself comfortable. And anyone new, welcome. I’m glad you found this virtual bar.
For those who have no clue what I’m talking about when I say that the bar is open, click here to catch up and then jump into the conversation back on this current post.
So have an imaginary cocktail and tell us what is up with your life.
12 comments
Please pour me a generous vodka tonic with lime. I somehow have lived 50 years as of today and I do not know where the time went. Also, I will have a teenager this year – she was just a baby a minute ago! On top of that, everything in our house is breaking, our neighbors are being jerks (after a nice period of calm), and I only have 4 days left of my vacation.
On the plus side, we’ve been enjoying wildlife in our yard (fawns under the deck, groundhogs eating mulberries that squirrels shake off the tree, baby bunnies). And we just got back from a great trip to my sister’s where we got to play with all the dogs, spend time with friends and family, and see the sights.
I guess the bonus to turning 50 is that it means I only have 5.5 years til I can retire…
I would submit both of your story ownership posts for the next Round-up. Too lazy to get the urls, but you know the ones!😀
I’m mostly focused on enjoying the summer. Knowing that in the fall life will evolve and expand again. Got a good thing going; and always trying to make friends with change and the unknown because I am always headed toward the fuzzy part of the map.
Happy birthday to a, above! It is my wedding anniversary tomorrow — our 34th (!) — so I will get an early start on the celebrations with a glass of champagne. Also celebrating the return of the Lushary, which holds a fond place in my heart — so happy to see it open again! 🙂 You sent me down the rabbit hole of looking at past Lushary posts… I KNOW I de-lurked and commented on at least one Lushary post before I actually started my blog in October 2007, but it seems the comments are cut off at 50 (even if it says there are 86 or 71), and I think my first one must not have made the cutoff… the first one I could find from me was November 2007. Nevertheless, it was a fun trip down memory lane… I wonder what has happened to all those people??
My story in a nutshell: 58 years old, retired, living childless/free after stillbirth & infertility. Our daughter would be turning 21 this year (gulp). Click over to my blog for more. I’ve been there almost 12 years now!
What’s happening in my life these days: Getting ready to head “home” shortly to see my parents & celebrate my dad’s 80th birthday. The big news in our family these days is that our nephew & his wife (on dh’s side) are expecting their first baby (our first great-niece/nephew). Her due date is ONE DAY OFF from my own due date 21 years ago in mid-November. Which means I am going to be a nervous wreck later this month/the first week of August, when our daughter was stillborn. Please pray if you’re so inclined, cross all your crossables, etc., that things go better for them than they did for me & dh!
As for second helpings for the next Roundup, I am behind on my blog reading & commenting, but I saw this one from Infertile Phoenix yesterday & it stopped me in my tracks:
https://infertilephoenix.blogspot.com/2019/07/the-cost-of-my-freedom.html
I will take a nice, big rum and coke please ;-).
I am consumed with finishing this course (the hardest one yet)… and trying to plan a major move. My Mom is being really nasty about the move, which I knew she would be, but it’s still very hard to handle.
The plus is I’m almost done this course, I’m planning a move that I’m thrilled about, and I’m reading a good book! 🙂
For second helpings… I like Risa’s post about being 20 weeks pregnant post-infertility: http://risakerslakewrites.com/2019/07/21-weeks-feeling-better/.
I’ll have a Shirley Temple. Make it a double. With lots of maraschino cherries.
I’m on edge, really worried about migrants held in deplorable camps. Worried about our country and future. Worried about earthquakes right now too.
Also dreading menopause. I turn 51 Sunday. Since I got down to the weight I was before I had my first child, about 5 years ago (my kids are 6 1/2 and 8 1/2), I’ve been in a pretty good place weight wise, and I’ve managed to maintain, with a little fluctuation, without unhealthy behaviors. I don’t starve myself or diet, but I work out a lot (which helps with stress) and I’m vegan which helps even though I’m not vegan for health or diet reasons. But I really fear going through menopause and gaining weight. Which seems inevitable. And the articles I read have advice that is basically eat less. I really don’t want to go hungry. I went through eating disorders in my early 20s and it wasn’t pretty. So I’m kind of really dreading that.
I’ll take a stiff Pepsi. 🙂
Things have been a whirlwind of stress around these parts, topped off with a side of earthquakes for good measure. Sheesh.
The dynamic duo is headed to middle school. We just signed our settlement with the school district (it’s been a long two year process). The mil is about 5-6 years into her battle with dementia. We’re starting the look for a larger home. Also…earthquakes. Fun times all around.
Heck. Make it two Pepsis. Sigh.
What are you having?
I will have a nice big margarita, please. The giant bowl ones like Don Pablo’s used to make. Since it’s virtual, I am going to pretend like so haven’t been battling strep throat, a sinus and double ear infection that has traveled to my lymph nodes this week, through my birthday and 4th of July. I seriously started feeling off Monday and by Thursday felt like I was dying. And no one else in my house is sick, so WTF.
However, I am feeling so…grateful. This time last year was full of so much stress and anxiety and my summer was basically ruined because of it. So I am enjoying the mostly carefree days…lax on strict meal times, lots of pool days and lounging around the house in the AC (seriously the weather this week sucked. I don’t do humidity like that.), late bedtimes. I’m literally just trying to be present and enjoy it and it’s been nice.
Even the melancholy lead-up to my birthday wasn’t as bad this year…it started out that way thanks to AF showing up and dragging me down the emotional path at the very end of June, but then that Sunday work was kinda crazy, Monday unexpectedly turned busy, and by Tuesday I was definitely sick so I didn’t have a lot of time to sit in it. Which was a relief because I have a lot of things going through my brain but I am choosing to push them all aside. Feeling so rotten helps because I don’t have the energy to think about any of those things anyway.
Sorry this is rambling. Your drink packs quite a punch there, Mel.
What’s new with you? What are you drinking?
I’ll have an ice cold pinto grigio. I’m in the thick of postpartum hormones, sleeplessness, newborn gas and crankiness and two other needy kids. My baby is almost three weeks old (shocking spontaneous pregnancy and healthy baby), my other babies are 2 (FET) and 5 (fresh IVF cycle). I struggle with having everything I ever wanted and still being stressed and irritable. I’m working hard to embrace the sweet warmth of a newborn in my arms and my other kids’ unique personalities in this chaotic stage of parenting, but ugh, it is so much effort and work for me. I don’t do well with lack of sleep and I’m used to working in the afternoon to get a “break” from our loud house, but as I’m on maternity leave, the 3pm-8pm hours stretch endlessly. I really am content and amazed to be here with these miracles, and so fortunate to have a great husband and family. But. But. I have to give myself the space for the full range of feelings too, it’s the only way to stay healthy for me. This is just a hard stage. Full of ups and downs. I aim to focus on very specific moments of connection and positivity with each family member, just one a day (that’s the minimum, could be more if it’s a good day, just one if it’s a bad day). That has to be enough for now. And just being a “good enough mother” we are watching too much tv this summer and eating too much sugar, I’m on my phone too much, yelling too much, etc. sigh and shrug, that’s all I got. Thanks for having me, I’m just happy to be here.
Black cherry mojito for me (someone just gave me a recipe and it sounds fabulous – as well as good use for the large patch of volunteer mint we have growing in the side of our yard).
We removed the enormous shrubbery that was growing in front of our window and blocking all the light. It’s truly marvelous to be able to see out again! Enjoying summer, even the hot weather since it felt like such a long winter, cold spring, and even in June there was a bit of a cold snap.
We’re gearing up for our last FET with our final PGS-tested embryo from the batch that produced our older daughter. Things are coming along (first hurdle, saline infusion sonogram, cleared and all good) and will probably go during the October cycle but timing is dependent on a few things, including travel for a family wedding. It’s strange to be coming down to the end of what is now a 7 year journey and that has so many feelings I didn’t expect sort of surfacing. I just keep reminding myself that we’re down to these final stages.
Oh no, I missed this on the weekend. I hope the bar is still open. I’ll have a Mai Tai, as I just conducted a serious survey of mai tais over a period of two or three weeks in Vietnam, and want to see how yours compares! But make it a strong one.
That’s what I’ve been doing recently – just had a seven week trip through Japan, Korea and Vietnam, and I’m now settling back in to Wellington’s winter. The cold weather is a welcome relief after Vietnam’s hot summer, and hotter than normal weather in Japan and Korea too.
We’ve come home to different circumstances than we left them – we find ourselves once more the main caregivers for my 90-year-old FIL, though with help from the local health services.
We’re getting over jetlag, and then I have to figure out what I’m doing for money. Being unemployed/retired (it depends who I talk to) is great, but we’re not quite financial enough to be retired quite yet. I’ve been saying this for several years though, with no progress! lol
As for second helpings, I’m glad Lori highlighted Infertile Phoenix’s post. It’s a good one.
Well, I just saw this so hopefully, I didn’t miss the last call. I’ll take a virgin pina colada. We just started trying again after a very traumatic loss for both of us. We did a timed cycle this month and pulled the trigger on the 4th of July. I start doing PIO shots tonight and I am terrified. I hate that I will have to start doing these shots without even knowing what our chances of being pregnant are. I am quite stressed, over the weekend we went to the beach and all my credit/debit cards were stolen and maxed out…so I’m stressed and broke for now.
Happy Birthday and Happy anniversary to the ladies above.
Hope I’m not too late for the next Roundup/Second Helpings! The Uterus Monologues had a wonderful piece (which also ran in a UK newspaper) about miscarriage:
https://uterusmonologues.com/2019/07/04/on-keeping-calm-and-miscarrying-on/