Random header image... Refresh for more!

And Just Like That

And just like that, I have high schoolers.

The twins had their moving on ceremony from middle school this week. They’re enrolled in high school classes for the fall. And in between is a bittersweet summer where they know that they just said goodbye to one stage of life and have no clue what the next one will be like.

It’s my last buffer before college.

If I think about it too much, I start to cry, so I’m trying not to think about it too much.

When the twins were very little, they did this preemie thing when they felt stressed. Instead of looking at the object or person directly, they turned their head and looked at it out of the corner of their eye. They did this until about age five, and I find myself doing that now with their future. I can’t look at it head on in my mind. I need to turn my head and look at it out of the corner of my eye because it’s too emotional to take in.

I want them to grow up. I want them to experience college. I want them to get jobs and homes and relationships and (if they want) children. But I also want them to live here. Like in my home so we can talk every night. But I get that’s not what they’ll want down the road. Roots and wings and all that stuff.

So this is it. I get four more years, the last onion layer peeled away before college. I can’t wait to see how these next years unfold, even if I cry through the whole thing.

7 comments

1 TasIVFer { 06.16.19 at 7:35 am }

But…they *just* left primary school! And that was hard enough!

2 a { 06.16.19 at 10:47 am }

Theyy will always want to live with you too – don’t kid yourself. Independence and having your own life is great and all, but there’s nothing like having a loving adult taking care of things for you. You will always be necessary in their lives.

3 Charlotte { 06.16.19 at 12:46 pm }

Oh, I so get you, Mel.

I’m in the in-between. My oldest is prepping to enlist, and I can’t stare straight ahead at it. In two days my other daughter will be a high schooler. Doing it once doesn’t make it easier this time.

It’s really scary. So let’s not do this alone, ok?? (((Hugs)))

4 Jennifer { 06.16.19 at 1:02 pm }

Oh Melissa! I’m in tears. I remember when they started preschool and how hard it was for you. How can they be going to high school already!? Mine are a bit younger. My oldest is 9. But she’s starting to seem so grown up and I know that in the blink of an eye she’ll be off to college. This letting go part is the hardest part of parenting, I think. I’ll be right here with you, crying all the way.

5 Peg { 06.17.19 at 1:34 pm }

Don’t worry they are home all the time during college too. Just when A and M left, I felt like they were back and Christmas break and summers are nice and long. We also facetime regularly.

I know it’s hard. I want them all to just stay little, but (sigh) it’s not to be. High school is also a really fun time. My teenagers are so fun and interesting even when the 17 year old is rolling his eyes at me.

Hang in there!

6 Sharon { 06.17.19 at 4:26 pm }

Oh man, that’s tough. My sons are only 7 and going into second grade, so this day seems far off to me. . . but a colleague recently pointed out that in another 7 years they’ll be starting high school, so I’m sure it will go by as quickly as these first 7 years have!

7 Cristy { 06.17.19 at 6:57 pm }

Can I just yell “STOP” and have them reset, giving you some more time with them in these other stages? I’m facing the beginning of all these transitions and though I agree with you that I want them to grow and thrive, I still cannot get over how fast they are growing.

Sending hugs and even more love.

(c) 2006 Melissa S. Ford
The contents of this website are protected by applicable copyright laws. All rights are reserved by the author