Why I Still Blog (and Still Read Blogs)
In the same week, I had one friend muse via email that she wants to start blogging again and another muse that she wants to stop blogging. In both cases, it came down to people feeling like no one was hearing their words. Or, at the very least, no one was responding to them, hence why the blogger thought the Facebook grass was greener, and the Facebooker remembered the blogging grass as greener.
Here are my thoughts.
I’ll start with Facebook. I’m not against Facebook. I think of my blog as my house, and I think of my social media accounts as additional homes I have in other cities. It makes sense, in that case, to rent apartments that require little upkeep in those other cities since my blog — my home — is my main living space on the Web. That’s sort of what you’re doing on social media platforms: you’re renting space that you’re paying for with your content and personal information.
Some people are happy to live light or not deal with the stress that comes from owning a home. But I’m not that person. I like having my home, and I like having my blog. I don’t think I’d be happy posting my thoughts solely on social media sites in the same way that I never loved renting apartments. Again, I realize that is me.
We trust that people will see our Facebook posts, and that’s not always the case. Some people whom you’re connected to on the site will not go on the platform, so they will not see it. Some people will not have the algorithm show it in their feed, so they will not see it. Some people will have your status in their feed, but there’s so much information on there and it moves so quickly that they’ll scroll over it without interacting with it.
And here’s the thing: they don’t even know that they’re missing it. Facebook shows them one of your status updates and they believe they’re seeing all of your status updates. So they don’t know what they don’t know. Unless you are opening and closing every single one of your friend’s profile pages, you have no clue how many posts you’re missing daily. And as much as Facebook wants to believe that they can predict what you want to read, someone of those posts you miss will be important to you or to that person.
Which brings us to blogs. What I like about blogs is that I see every post. If I like a blog, I enter their URL in my reader so I am notified when a new post goes up. I sometimes read the post in the reader, and I sometimes hop over to the blog itself if I’m on my computer so I can comment. Reading on a mobile device makes that difficult, so while I know blog readership has fallen over the years, I also believe that mobile devices keep us from knowing the whole story. There are more people reading than people know by looking at their stats.
The Internet was a different place 12 years ago. There wasn’t a lot to read, so we read everything. We went back to the same blog post several times, reading the comment section to see how people were reacting to it during the day. We had long conversations in there. But now, the information flows so quickly, it is easier not to return. But the one thing that hasn’t changed is that I visit each blog, one at a time.
Because that’s the biggest difference between social media sites and blogs; why I keep writing mine and why I keep reading them. Because I like visiting one person at a time. I go to their blog and see what they have to say, and then I go to the next blog and join that conversation. I give one person at a time my complete attention. On Facebook, it’s like trying to visit 100 people at once, and not doing a good job connecting with any one of them because there are so many people around.
I miss blogs. I miss specific blogs — A Little Pregnant, Infertile Fantasies, Vee from Three Little Birds, Too Many Fish to Fry (she still sometimes has infrequent posts) — and I miss blogs in general. My reader is still full at the end of the day because I subscribe to so many of them, but it’s not like it was back in the old days when there were so many of us.
Which blogs do you miss? And will you ever go back if you stopped writing?
14 comments
Thanks so much for the kind words. I am still reading lots of blogs, including yours of course. But like many, I have a hard time commenting via my mobile device. In fact, I tried three times to leave a comment on this really interesting post, and then gave up. (Sorry Loribeth!) https://theroadlesstravelledlb.blogspot.com/2018/12/fed-up-by-gemma-hartley.html
It will be interesting to see if social media habits change with the new CA data privacy law coming up. And in general, will people move their personal data elsewhere, from platforms like FB and IG to some other place? Some new blockchain social media platform might take off, who knows. I agree with you, though. My blog feels more like a home to me.
I miss a lot of the blogs I used to read regularly. My experience has been that most of the bloggers who I read, and who read my blog, gradually stopped blogging once they had finished their family building. That was certainly true for me.
Once my twins were born, and I knew I was done having children, the topics of my posts shifted from infertility (which was my original “theme”) to parenthood. I didn’t want to be a “mommy blogger,” and over time, my blog felt like one more item on my “to do” list that I couldn’t keep up with. So I eventually quit writing, not because I no longer had things to say, but because I didn’t think my blog was the appropriate forum for the thoughts I *did* have, and because I just didn’t have the time or energy.
There are so, so many inactive bloggers I would love to see blogging again, or at least get updates from. I am happy to be in touch with several of them on social media — Apron Strings Emily, Annacyclopedia, Wordgirl, Msfitzita, JuliaS (one of my original online friends from an email list we were both on), Irish Girl, Angie at Still Life in Circles, Sue at So Dear & Yet So Far, Jen at Here We Go Again, Julia at I Won’t Fear Love — but I miss their blogging voices. (I am also in touch with South City Sadie and was glad to see her posting again recently!) And there are others I think about from time to time, wondering how they are and how their stories have unfolded. I scrolled through my blogroll (full of long-dormant blogs) & oh, the memories. Beyond the ones you mentioned, I think sometimes about Dreaming of Quiet Places, who was fleeing domestic abuse, and hope she is well. Likewise JJ at Reproductive Jeans who was dealing with cancer. Nuts in May. Tash at Awful But Functioning. Gil at The Hardest Quest. Erica at I Lost a World. Mo & Will. Elm City Dad & Josh (Jack at Random), both bereaved fathers who write eloquently (Josh still posts once a year or so). To name just a few…! 😉
I just went through my blogroll, with names of long-dormant blogs bringing up so many memories, and composed a long list of bloggers I miss and wonder about, beyond the ones you already posted. Hit a wrong key & everything went “poof!” Grrrrr. Let’s just say it was a long list. 😉 I’m fortunate to be in touch with quite a few former bloggers (as well as some still-current ones 😉 ) on social media, but I miss their blogging voices. And there are many others who have disappeared into the ether that I wonder about from time to time. I hope they are all doing well.
Facebook & other social media are great for posting short, pithy observations & updates on what you’re doing, but (for me, anyway), it’s very different writing, and a very different audience, from blogging. I was already getting support for infertility & childlessness on message boards, & I am still on some of those, but I still find blogging therapeutic and satisfying in a way those other outlets don’t. For the most part, my blog posts are more intimately personal and thoughtful and carefully written than a Facebook post or even a message board post. I generally do not post much on ALI-related matters on social media… they are part of my life, but not my whole life, and that’s reflected in social media. On my blog, I am free to indulge in pondering ALI-related subjects to my heart’s content (along with other stuff too) — that’s my main focus. And while I am connected on social media to friends & family from all different parts of my life, not all of them are privy to my blog (and I rather like it that way 😉 ).
Jjiraffe, sorry you couldn’t leave that comment. 🙁 I’m hoping it was more a glitch in blog commenting from phones generally, and not something specific to my blog? I can read blogs on my phone, but for commenting, I have to save the post and go to my laptop.
I miss reading blogs and keep telling myself I’ll get back to it. And then I don’t. I still blog because, like you I created a little home for me. For me the blog
Has been a place to let go and say/work through all the stuff I don’t want to post on social media. While I have no idea how many people are reading it these days, every now and then I write something that resonates with someone and they feel compelled to comment or hit the Like button. It’s for me and for those people who find what I have to say interesting.
I feel guilty about not reading others….
I’ve been blogging since 2008, though my blog as my internet “home” has waxed and waned since the advent of Twitter. I recently came back to my blog as my primary domain since a) I’m paying for it and b) I’m increasingly wary of social networks. The 24/7 Angstyness. Big tech’s egregious exploitation of its users. The list goes on.
I’m actively pursuing more personal blogs to read b/c I miss reading about humans being humans.
I miss Nuts in May too, and I miss Hairy Farmer Family (HFF)
My reason to continue with (sporadic) blogging is different from starting it 9 years ago. Now I want to document the impact of DE on daily life, and I suppose it is a relief that the impact is only sporadic.
(But for those still wondering, yes there will always be some impact)
I have a huge list of dormant blogs I’d love to read again. Included by some where the writer was trying for a 2nd or something and giving it one last shot and then disappeared…inquiring minds want to know what happened.
With every new report I’m more and more glad I never got on Facebook…
I miss Dresden! I miss Susiebook, who blogs about adoption but not in over a year maybe. I was sad when Niobe stopped blogging long ago. I second Elm City Dad (and Mom). I miss Racilous, from the adoption side of things.
I use feedly to keep up with blogs so I don’t tend to miss too many posts luckily. I particularly love when an old blogger posts again with an update as I am genuinely curious to how they are doing!
I still read. I rarely comment. After a nearly two year break I think I’m ready to blog again in 2019. I’m glad you are still writing.
I love your analogy of visiting one person at a time rather than 100. Yes, that’s what it was like. IS like when we do it.
Reading through this comment thread makes me so nostalgic. These bloggers — I miss so many of them. I want to say Luna of LifeFromHere is one I think of weekly.
https://motherboard.vice.com/en_us/article/vbanny/we-should-replace-facebook-with-personal-websites
I love this post because I do miss what blogging used to be. I miss the conversations! I still blog, but not nearly as much. I do feel like my readership has dwindled drastically, and I struggle to get motivated to write when it feels like hardly anybody is reading and so few comment anymore. (I appreciate those that have stuck around though!) I miss so many of my blogger friends, but am grateful for those that I have connected to via Facebook and Instagram. You are right that it is just not the same though. I plan to continue blogging and reading blogs as long as they still exist.