All My Feelings About Online Shopping
I have very complicated feelings about online shopping. I love it because it’s convenient and the thing I want is usually available and I don’t need to leave my house to get the item. And I hate it because it feels wrong and it makes me purchase more than I probably need and I can’t touch/try on/ask questions before I purchase.
I dislike it more than I like it, and I know I’m in the minority saying that.
I feel really uncomfortable buying clothing online unless I’m buying a new copy of something I already own. Like my jeans. I always buy the same jeans, so when I need a new pair of jeans, I feel comfortable ordering them online. Everything else, I’d rather go to the store and try it on or not get it at all. Because I hate returning things and tracking the reimbursement. So if I’m not sure that I’ll get it right the first time, I’d rather forego the new clothing altogether.
Again, I sense I’m in the minority saying that.
I don’t like to buy shoes online unless I’m buying a new pair of something I’m already wearing. We can extend this sentiment to anything that goes on my body — from socks to coats. All of it. I need to hold it in the store or not get it at all.
I prefer to get books in the store because sometimes a copy has a wonky page or a crease in the cover. And I don’t want the wonky copy. I want the pristine copy that speaks to me from the pile, whispering, “Melissa, purchase me.” I’m less picky about DVDs or CDs because they tend to come in wrapping and the outer case isn’t really part of the experience of interacting with the media. And I’m okay purchasing hard-to-find toiletries, cleaning products, or food items online because purchasing them online is usually my only option if I want an obscure gel specifically made for curly hair.
Of course I love the time saved from not getting in the car and driving to a store, but I miss the people I see and the agency I feel choosing one jar of peanut butter over another.
The Atlantic recently did a piece about online shopping, pointing out the obvious:
Before the advent of the internet, we had to set aside time to go browse the aisles of a physical store, which was only open a certain number of hours a day. Now, we can shop from anywhere, anytime—while we’re at work, or exercising, or even sleeping.
Some of it didn’t reflect my experience. I don’t have Alexa ordering underwear for me. And I feel no impulse to shop just for the sake of shopping. But if we’re already ordering my gel, sometimes I throw in a carton of mints no longer carried in the store just because it’s there on the same site.
Like I said, I have all the feelings when it comes to online shopping.
What are your feelings?
13 comments
I hate online shopping because it requires me to search for particular things rather than browse for nothing in particular and find something interesting. Half of the time that I’m shopping for anything (whether it’s groceries or underwear), I’ll see something and say “That reminds me! I also need XXXX!” It’s not on my list…or my radar. Just a memory of something that I didn’t write down in the moment because it wasn’t vital.
On top of that, when I do need something semi-specific, the search parameters don’t meet my needs. I can’t select things like short sleeve or cotton when browsing a website, but I can certainly breeze through options that don’t meet that criteria in a store. Online shopping is far more boring and stressful to me.
In addition, I don’t want someone else picking out my meat or produce.
Unfortunately, I know I am also going to be in the minority, because mall traffic is down, and physical stores are probably going to go away eventually. 🙁
I’m in the minority with you. Apart from all the reasons you mentioned, online shopping to me is consumerism stripped of human contact, and I just don’t enjoy it. I enjoy the actual experience of going to a store, touching, feeling, interacting. The gratification of taking something home with me right now. When I’m buying online I don’t feel like part of a community; I feel like someone in pursuit of a thing. It’s not a great feeling. But if I was forced to shop online I would likely buy less because I wouldn’t like it.
It seems sometimes like we are trying to make our lives so convenient we never have to interact with others. I gotta ask,what is the end goal here? And do we want that kind of world? People are difficult and annoying, that’s for sure. We all have times when we’d just rather not deal with others. And yet, if we don’t practice, we are going to get WORSE, not better at getting along. I think we underestimate the value of casual interactions.
I am a huge online shopper. I placed my first amazon order in 1999 and never looked back. At first it was novel, that you could get something in 5 days without going to the store. And you could find all kinds of things from years past or things that weren’t sold everywhere. Now it’s just convenient. It’s been awesome to know I have a subscription to things like diapers and won’t run out in the middle of the night, and that I can easily send gifts to family and friends out of town and not spend a fortune on shipping costs. It’s also a great way to save money, on the items themselves and also conserves has not having to go to a store or several to find something. I love that I can order and get things in 2 days. Time is money, and I love that I can shop at 3am if I can’t sleep, or at work during downtime and not have to make a separate trip. I agree that I don’t love buying clothes online unless I know what I am buying beforehand, but Inhave on occasion on things you can’t really go wrong with. I try to only do that with places that have great shipping and return shipping policies or a physical store locally. I love Zappos for shoes because I have a terrible time finding good work shoes, even if I try and buy the newest model of a style I like, slight changes make it not the shoe I remember, and I hate the selection in most stores that sell the shoes I get. My feet are super picky. So they have free shipping both ways so I can try on shoes several times and test walk and take time deciding without wasting hours in a store.
I have tried grocery services in the past, and while the quality was fine, I found pricing to be higher and so I can save more money doing that myself and utiliting sales, coupons, and bulk. SamsClub introduced a Scan and Go app where you scan all the stuff as you put it in your cart and pay thru the app, and to be honest this makes me WAY more likely to use that store because the lines can be ridiculous especially if you only need a couple things. Bypassing all of that is crazy amazing, I can do a huge trip in 20 minutes. So I don’t think all the technologies are a bad thing at all. Life is busy. If there is a way to simplify any of it or make it more convenient I am all for it, so long as the cost is acceptable. Other reasons I love it are that many retailers offer better deals online and the coupon codes tend to save more than in-store ones, the selection can be better. My sister lives in a rural area where everything is spread out and not as available, so it’s amazing that companies like amazon exist and can get things to her just as fast as they can to me.
And there is definitely something to be said for doing holiday shopping online and avoiding the madness.
I have bought books, music & DVDs online… some clothing (usually tops) & jewelry (handmade by a friend of a friend). Online shopping is great if you’re looking for something that’s specific and hard to find in stores… like a book or album that I loved growing up. But as A pointed out above, you miss out on the experience of just browsing & seeing what’s there & having something catch your eye, and stumbling onto something you weren’t looking for but know you’d love. I would truly be at a loss if all the physical bookstores closed down… a mega-bookstore browse has been our usual Saturday night entertainment for more than 20 years now!
There are very few stores left that sell physical music these days (vinyl, CDs) — & their selection is generally limited to the bands’ greatest hits plus maybe a couple of their best-selling albums. I was so grateful when Sunrise Records (a smaller chain here) bought up the mall locations that HMV vacated when it closed up shop — and I said as much to the clerk when I went in for the first time after they (re)opened in one of the malls we frequent. I notice the clientele is mostly my age or older, with grey hair, but hey, this is how we browsed for & bought music when we were growing up — flipping through the bins. 🙂 I’m old school.
I prefer to try on most clothes before I buy. I have very wide feet that are hard to fit, so I don’t think I would ever buy shoes online. Meat & produce, most definitely, I want to pick out.
I also wanted to add that my favorite way to buy books is online, and it comes from the prices just being better or being able to utilize pre-order price guarantee.
And I definitely don’t miss the days of having to camp out for concert tickets or find the obscure location tickets were being sold to the different venues. I remember having to go to Kemp Mill Records to buy tickets to shows at the 9:30 club, and there was always weird times tickets went on sale, and we were always in school. Because if tickets were sold out, that was it, you weren’t getting in unless you found a scalper or a way to sneak in. Online tickets are so much more convenient, although way pricier, but I think that has less to do with technology and more due to corporate greed.
I love, love, love shopping online. I seriously have not done ANY holiday shopping in a store in years. But, for me it’s complicated. I used to love shopping in stores. But, when I did that I had my shopping partner, my mom. When she died I started to hate going to a mall because it was always our thing. We went every single Saturday my as far back as I can remember until I moved out. And then we usually went on my day off. So, when she was gone….going to the mall was just a giant reminder she was missing. But, online shopping has really grown on me. I love that I can find anything I want at any hour of the day or night. I tend to only wear about 4 or 5 brands of clothing and I know how they fit so I’m fine buying clothes online. Sure, I do some returning but for the convenience I’m okay with it. I’m currently working about 60-70 hours a week and even working from home that’s too many. If I can save time anywhere I will. I’ve used the online grocery shopping a few times. I still do prefer to pick out my own produce and meat, but it’s been a lifesaver a few times when I was in desperate need of groceries and it seemed like an insurmountable task- once when I was recovering from pneumonia and last summer when my husband had a broken arm and I had stitches in my foot it was a lifesaver to just have everything delivered and not have to walk the store. It’s actually kind of funny that you can see Target from our bedroom window and we never go there because we have Amazon Prime and they deliver to use several times a week because it’s so easy. In fact in my bunco group I’m known as the Amazon girl because my gifts are always from there I’m such an online shopper……
I would be very curious to find out how the love vs hate with online shopping would break down between larger cities vs smaller/more rural areas. So, I’ve lived in fairly rural areas most of my life. This translated to pretty limited places to buy things like books and clothes and food that were local – and it wasn’t unusual that they wouldn’t have what I wanted or my size. Going to one of the cities meant usually planning a full day since they were a minimum of about an hour away by car (no public transport). I’ve often joked that online shopping makes small-town living liveable.
I live in a moderately sized city now and I’ve noticed that since I can get to more stores more easily, I do tend to enjoy shopping in person much more than I did. I can also find more of what I want. Even now, though, I’m fairly picky about clothes (fabrics and materials particularly) and have measured myself enough to reliably size at online consignment or auction.
In the main, I LOVE online shopping! I simply do not have the time or energy to visit stores to buy items I need.
The one category on which I agree with you is clothing. I generally have bad results with clothes and shoes I buy online, unless I am buying a brand/style that is very familiar to me. For this reason, I do still shop for clothing online but only through outlets that have very liberal and convenient returns.
I bought clothes in-store for the first time this fall, and I had much better results. (For one of the trips, I used a personal stylist who picked the items for me ahead of time and during the session.) BUT I had to devote a lot more time to shopping than I normally would.
This is the one area we differ. I’m odd because I’ve never enjoyed shopping. The idea of spending money leaves me feeling guilty and I struggle with entering a store solely to browse. Malls were my bain (still are today, though they aren’t what they once were) given the crowds and people picking through things. Shopping is not what I’ve ever considered an enjoyable activity, even if I acquire something I need or know I’ll enjoy.
Though online shopping has helped, I now find myself spending a lot of time trying to avoid scams. Amazon is filled with counterfeit items and dishonest sellers, so there’s the added burden of trying to find something authentic and reputable. And then there’s the quality issue you’ve already talked about (why is selling damaged items even considered okay?).
In short, I have mixed feelings but for different reasons.
I’d really like to support my local high street. Food shopping is a bit different – we regularly get meat and fish from local suppliers.
But clothes are a nightmare. I’m tall and have big boobs and there are only a couple of shops who do clothes that don’t end up with me looking like a sack of potatoes. I end up buying my entire wardrobe from one supplier, whether new or from ebay (I’ve had some fakes on ebay).
When I was maternity clothes shopping even the general clothes shops only did maternity clothes online – I went into shop I hadn’t tried for years to see if they had maternity clothes I could try on, but no.
When I’d researched a nice pair of boots that I’d wear most days in the next couple of winters (winter here is long), I made a special trip up to the shop that sold the boots, but they were online only. The shop assistant offered to order them into the shop but that seemed a bit random when I could just buy them at home and send them back if they didn’t fit.
So I’d like to not shop online for clothes, but I feel like I’m mostly wasting time.
I’ve also never enjoyed shopping. And I agree with Katherine that I bet it would break down by geography.
When I lived in a bigger city with easy access to stores, I rarely shopped online. I was also single and childless and had more free time.
Now I live in a more rural area and have less free time. Spending that time just driving a distance to shop is frustrating to me.
I will say for things like clothes I shop only at specific retailers where I know what my size, fit etc will be. Otherwise, I would want to try on.
Books I still buy in stores. That is a trip I would not consider a waste of time. I love bookstores.
I shop online a lot—mostly Amazon and Target. Honestly it’s a lifesaver. I just literally don’t have the time to make a Target run more than once a month. And try as I might I don’t always plan perfectly and with two kids we’re always running out of something. Plus we save money with various subscriptions.
As to clothes and shoes, I’d rather try things on in the store but it’s hard to find lots of in-store options for non-leather shoes, and also suits (without driving a long ways), especially since I wear a different size for coat and pants/skirt (thus 2 piece sets don’t work), so for those things I frequently order online and just have to return things that don’t fit.
My feelings about online shopping are a lot like yours.
I did just buy a stove online. It hasn’t been delivered yet so I don’t know how successful the experiment was, not seeing the 3D thing and touching the knobs to get a sense of it. But I do know I liked not spending a day in stores comparing and analyzing. I do tend to analysis paralysis for big (and sometimes little) purchases.