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715th Friday Blog Roundup

I wanted to see an old BlogHer post, so I Googled a keyword + BlogHer that would have brought it to the top of the search results.  But it didn’t appear.  There were blog posts about the blog post, so I clicked over and used their link.  It looped me to the main SheKnows page.  I tried searching SheKnows but… it was gone.  Every last post was gone.

I mean, it’s not gone-gone because I was able to go into the Internet Wayback Machine and do the same search, finding all the times that particular post had been cached.  I could read the post that way, and I could even send people to the post by using the Wayback Machine’s URL.  But… it’s not the same thing.

I have a list that has the original URL for every BlogHer post I wrote.  I scrolled down that list, looking at the URLs for the thousands of posts that I wrote over 10 years.  Thousands.  I thought about the hours that it takes to write over 2000 posts.  And all of it gone: Deleted or moved to a private space that only the content owner can access.

A chef doesn’t mourn when her hard work is consumed and the plate is empty.  She has been paid for her effort, and she knows her food was enjoyed.  I’m trying to take that attitude.  I was compensated, the posts were enjoyed, and now they’re gone.

But it still hurts.

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Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

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And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

Okay, now my choices this week.

No Kidding in NZ gives advice to the grieving.  They are mourning the loss of her mother-in-law, and she offers up everything she knows.  I especially love this thought: “Grief brings opportunities, but you have to let yourself grieve first before looking for them.”  So true.

Inconceivable! has a post about Meghan Markle’s pregnancy.  Even though she has resolved her infertility, she writes, “Pregnancy is my kryptonite, though.  Pregnancy announcements still feel like being socked in the gut.”  Yes.  I mean, if I could make a blog post nod in solidarity, this blog post would be nodding in solidarity.  They still hurt after all of these years.

Baby Ridley Bump has a post about Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.  She writes beautifully about the shame she used to feel about how she processed her early losses, and it took the birth of her daughter to drive home that she should be okay with how she mourned.  “Once I was finally able to see the life that was created, I realized that each one of those ‘chemical pregnancies; could’ve been a potential child just as amazing as the one I was finally holding in my arms.”  We are allowed to feel what we feel, and she captures a truth about how we process pregnancy loss.

Lastly, Jewish IVF has a post about primary and secondary infertility mixing in the same support group.  Their common denominator is being Jewish, which means that the feelings of those with children bump up against the ones without children, sometimes bruising them in the process.  There are no easy answers for her questions, and they’re ones that our blogging community has struggled with over the years.  But it’s always food for thought.

The roundup to the Roundup: 10 years of BlogHer posts are gone.  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between October 12th and October 19th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

8 comments

1 Jjiraffe { 10.19.18 at 9:27 am }

That’s a shame about all the old BlogHer posts. There was some lovely, heartfelt writing done on that platform.

2 Charlotte { 10.19.18 at 11:07 am }

I ran in to this when looking through/for old blog posts for your roundup celebration. There are so many great words lost, so many posts that deserve to be immortal. I am very sorry that you found your work was gone from the inter webs. That really just sucks.

But also…very impressed by your ability to find a back-way into these posts. I am so not computer savvy enough to have a clue how you did that. I am super curious if that works with old blogs, too. Even ones that the user deleted??

3 Lori Lavender Luz { 10.19.18 at 3:31 pm }

Gah. BlogHer’s death just keeps on giving. Or taking away, as the case may be. I mourn every time I have reason to think of that space, those posts, those bloggers, those times.

I’m so sorry. I mourn with you.

4 Working mom of 2 { 10.19.18 at 4:10 pm }

I know. I got my two miracles and I’ve moved on. But every once in a while…when mm got married I thought “better get on it” (I was 36, her age then, when I started, and it took 6 years). Still, for a moment when I heard the news I was like “must be nice!” (to get pregnant right away).

5 Cristy { 10.19.18 at 5:38 pm }

I’m so sorry Mel. This sucks that you can’t pull up those posts and everything is gone. Writing is very different from baking/cooking as though the goal is enjoyment and connection, the vectors are still very different. We put thinks out there not to be solely consumed, but also to spark conversation and for them to grow into something. Having it completely disappear is like throwing a baker’s works directly into the garbage without consideration. Abiding with you.

6 loribeth { 10.19.18 at 9:53 pm }

I’m sorry. I remember feeling similarly bereft when the iVillage Childless Living board I frequented after leaving infertility treatments closed down. All my posts, all that shared wisdom, gone. 🙁 Do you have copies of any of the posts you wrote there?

7 KatherineA { 10.23.18 at 3:10 pm }

I don’t tend to think of blogs as a “temporary” type of art form – and I’m always a little sad when posts/blogs I enjoyed vanish. I’m so sorry that all those posts and all that work is gone. Sending thoughts.

Thanks for the mention also!

8 loribeth { 10.23.18 at 7:31 pm }

I loved this piece from ladywhalen, and especially the line: “where their eyes may rest for a moment, our hearts have to live for a lifetime.”

https://anunexpectedfamilyouting.wordpress.com/2018/10/18/to-those-who-know-the-heartbreak-of-pregnancy-infant-loss-your-story-is-a-blessing/

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