The Melancholy Month
Summer is winding down, and I’m in the deep end of the melancholy month. That’s how I think of August. I didn’t mind going back to school as a kid, and I liked it as a teacher, but I’ve started to dread August since the twins started school. Once school begins, the year starts moving towards its conclusion; another grade complete.
This one, once again, comes with a transition. It is — believe it or not — their final year of middle school. When I started this blog, they were still drinking bottles. Now they’re a few years from getting their driver’s license. How did this happen?
This year we need to figure out what we’re doing for high school. We have a bunch of options open right now, and we’ll take the fall to shut the door on some and apply to others. I don’t believe there’s any single, “right” options — they’ll all be great and they’ll all be lacking. That’s just the way things are. Nothing is perfect, but you can make most situations fit your wants and needs. Plus, you can’t really know if something is a good choice until you’ve lived it. Thinking you can predict otherwise prior to the experience is a recipe for missing actuality in favour of a story we’re telling ourselves.
I really am in the deep end of the melancholy month.
We still have time. We still have plenty of episodes of Dirk Gently to watch together. We still have tickets to see Hamilton. (Not our doing; we just have the most awesome friends, ever.) We still have to get ice cream a few more times. We still have a French packet to finish and books to read and a photo album to make. We still have a few more things to tuck into this month before it ends.
But it never feels like enough time.
11 comments
The melancholy month, what a great moniker! I’m in deep over here in Australia too, it’s extremely cold and melancholy… rain, wind, hail, almost snow yesterday. But…. our Winter is nearly done, Spring is coming, and then Summer, oh wonderful Summer! Can’t wait.
Abiding with you as the end of summer approaches. I remember from your prior posts in prior years just how much you dread this time of year. The last year of middle school! How time is flying by. You are SO right about schools, btw. That is my conclusion after our many moves and many schools–they are all imperfect in some way, and you never truly know until you have a child attending. And really, more than one could work out perfectly well–there is no “one” school for any child. Some are maybe more good or less good. Good luck deciding!
Yah, it’s a hazard of getting older: time passes so much faster. I don’t have kids in the school system yet but I can see how it would intensify the emotions.
So I am with you…this month DOES feel that way, and I couldn’t put my finger on it until I read your words.
This year I have one finishing middle school and one finishing high school. It feels so incredibly overwhelming and…sad. Like I kinda sorta felt like I knew how each year would sort of go (in regards to school and holidays and that sort of thing) and now all those things are so unknown. Quite possibly the last summer of us all home, the last of days off together, just so many things potentially ending this year. It all feels too much right now. I think I am going to go look at pictures from our recent beach vacation and live in that time for a while.
This is the first year I have really felt this and for the same reasons as you. E is going into second grade and this summer has gone by so quickly. We still have so many things on our summer bucket list. He suddenly seems to be getting so big so quickly and P wants to be just like him so doesn’t want to be babied at all.
I am so with you on this. I am not ready for summer to end. We still have time to finish our summer fun list and hit the beach a couple more times, stop by our favorite ice cream stand. We’ve had so much fun this summer. I really feel like this might be the most family fun we’ve ever packed in to one summer, which is why I’m not ready for it to end. Add to that the dread that my second (and last) baby is starting preschool and my second grader still doesn’t know who her teacher is or if she has friends in class and I’m anxious on top of melancholy. It makes me feel better to know I’m not alone. So many parents are excited for their kids to go back to school and I’m not judging them but I just don’t get it.
This – “I don’t believe there’s any single, “right” options — they’ll all be great and they’ll all be lacking. That’s just the way things are. Nothing is perfect, but you can make most situations fit your wants and needs. Plus, you can’t really know if something is a good choice until you’ve lived it. Thinking you can predict otherwise prior to the experience is a recipe for missing actuality in favour of a story we’re telling ourselves.”
So many people need to read that, and put it into practice. This is such a great reminder that we can’t control everything, and just need to do what we can, then accept it.
Reading this, I’m finally understanding the melancholy you’ve talked about over the years. We have 1 1/2 weeks before Maddy and Teddy start Kindergarten; something I cannot begin to wrap my head around.
Abiding with you as you all prepare for this last year of middle school. Asking you send me good thoughts too as we begin our chapter.
I always start this month feeling alone with my melancholy, and then find you and your posts…and find a kindred. This is so much how I feel at the moment too. We have lots of transitions happening/or about to happen. We are in a bit of limbo this year right now. But the march of time is definitely felt strongly right now. Btw…we also have Hamilton tickets…seeing it in September.. 😉
Dropped two off at college in the past week. Oldest started law school today….one week from today school starts…I’m in deep melancholy. I got through today without crying thinking about A and M at school which I thought was a huge step.
I know how this time of year affects you, and I’m abiding with you during the melancholy. Sounds like you have some fun things planned for the coming weeks. Sending you my love.