3 Questions
Darius Foroux was asked and answered 10 questions by a reader named Mary. They’re 3 really good questions (and 7 less interesting questions), and he gives 10 answers. What makes the 3 really good questions really good are that they spark answers that are useful to other people. I mean, so much advice is really for ourselves; we give it to others, but it doesn’t really apply to others. It applies to ourselves and it’s awesome that we know these things about ourselves.
For instance: “What’s the one quality that everyone must have?” Well, Pascal already decided that earlier this week, but moreover, the answer is so personal and specific. I mean, let’s say the person says honesty. What good is honesty without self-restraint and circumspection? I don’t think we really want everyone going around saying everything they are truthfully thinking at all times.
Foroux himself answers: “Persistence, perseverance, determination, grit—call it whatever you want.” I can think of many situations where grace and the good thought to stop would serve you better.
But these three may contain an answer that is helpful to someone else:
2. What’s the one book you suggest everyone to read?
This is not a book I think you’ll enjoy; it’s a book I think you should read. Big difference. I mean, you may enjoy them, too (I did), but it’s really about recommending a book that will change someone’s life.
The book(s) I always recommend is the Magicians trilogy by Lev Grossman. It’s not because it’s about magic. (Though the magic is pretty awesome.) It’s because it’s about growth. It’s about facing uncomfortable truths about yourself and others and not looking away. Or seeing what happens when you look away and then what happens when you don’t look away. I know a lot of people find Quentin and the other characters annoying, and I think those people probably either (1) stopped after the first book and missed the point of the trilogy or (2) saw too much of themselves in the books and it made them uncomfortable. Really good books should get under your skin and bother your brain.
To really get everything out of these books, you need to sit with all three books. And you need to look at yourself closely, too. I will say that if you get to this line in The Magician King on page 379 –“That was being dead, and this is being alive. That was death, this is life. I will never confuse them again.” — and you are not emotionally affected, tossing around that thought about how you have discussed or thought about living before (and maybe taken it for granted), it’s probably not worth it for you to move on to the third book. But if that scene gives you pause, continue on and you will not regret what you learn about yourself in The Magician’s Land.
P.S. It really helps to have read all seven Narnia books, too, to understand the way Grossman plays with that narrative. It will double what you get out of the trilogy.
6. What’s one thing that you regret starting late or wished you started earlier?
Learning about financial stuff: savings, investing, etc. I read books and we’ve spoken with financial planners, but I feel like I’m in a space where I need to take advice rather than know the information myself. That is the case in a lot of areas of life, but I wish I understood all the rules and regulations better; understood how decisions could impact me in the future. And I wish I had saved more prior to this point, but I think many people will say that.
7. What’s one thing you learned the hard way?
That your memory is never as good as you think. When we were going through the baby years, I couldn’t imagine forgetting any facts so I didn’t take the time to write most of them down in a single space. I couldn’t imagine having tens of thousands of pictures and videos, so I didn’t organize them. And now I have a big mess of information without any way to easily access it and enjoy it. I wish I had kept neat photo albums I could slide off a shelf and baby books that contain the date of first words and first steps.
What about you?
1 comment
Yes! to numbers 6 and 7. Could not agree more!!!