Good Times Ahead
Stop the press!
Right after I wrote yesterday that people want to relive their 40s more than any other decade, I learned that life gets better after 50. How is this possible? If your 50s are noticeably better than your 40s, wouldn’t everyone say that they want to relive their 50s?
Academics have found increasing evidence that happiness through adulthood is U-shaped – life satisfaction falls in our 20s and 30s, then hits a trough in our late 40s before increasing until our 80s.
I like the idea of life being U-shaped; of happiness dipping and then rising. It makes what lies ahead that much more enticing rather than thinking that things are downhill from here. Down here, nearing the “trough,” is okay. It fills me with hope to hear that it’s only going to get better.
Though apparently I will first travel through an emotional slump in my late 40s caused by — according to the research — nothing. Unless it’s caused by something. But I will only the notice the nothing if everything else is going smoothly. According to the author, “Those most likely to notice the arrow of time are the people without a lot of other change or difficulty in their life.”
Hmmm.
I have two more years until I hit the nadir — 46. And while research points out that events later in life such as dealing with health issues, deaths, job loss, or empty nests affects people emotionally, when life is still, we’ll feel happier in the stillness.
It’s a very interesting article about why we feel happier in our 50s and beyond, so read the whole thing when you have the time.
Does it ring true to you? That happiness increases in your 50s and beyond?
6 comments
Grey and I have talked a lot about this concept. Basically we’re right in the suck and the only thing we can do is build.
I think the reason people want to relieve this period, despite the hardship, is that there’s also a lot of groundwork that is laid that will influence the rest of your life. Either you get on board and make the needed adjustments for happiness, or you accept what is for the rest of your life.
That *is* an interesting article; thanks for sharing it. Thinking of the article’s ideas in relation to myself. . .
I am currently 47. I have found my 40s to be happier than my 30s, my 30s were happier than my 20s, and my 20s were happier than my teens. By his thesis, I should be in an emotional slump, but I don’t feel that I am. In fact, although my stress levels are chronically high (and that is something I am constantly working on managing), I would say that I am quite happy overall.
Maybe this has more to do with where we are in our lives vs. age per se? I am nearly 15 years into my second professional career, and it is going pretty well. I am a mother to young children (age 6) after a few years of infertility, and I have enjoyed my children more with each passing year. My marriage is on a solid footing (will be celebrating my 10th anniversary this fall), and I feel myself a member of my community and have good friendships.
I think, in a lot of ways — although DEFINITELY not physically! — I am where a lot of people would be in their mid-30s, due to returning to school at age 30 for a second degree/career and marrying and having children later in life (ages 37 and almost-41, respectively). Maybe that’s why I’m not in an emotional slump?
Hmmm. I turn 50 this year. While aspects of my life are going well, I can’t shake this sense of my life is more than half over I’ve had since my mid 40s. It’s really depressing to realize you have less life left than you’ve lived. Especially when I think of something that happened 20 years ago that seemed like just a little while ago then I think “ in 20 years I’ll be 70.” Gah!
One thing that I’ve really noticed is I don’t feel like an old person. When I was much younger I assumed old people (and I considered “old” to be in retrospect an alarmingly young age) accepted they were old. Not so much here! made worse, of course, by the regular questions/comments about being my children’s grandma. 🤬🤬
I just hit 40 this year and I definitely am happy to be in my 40s. I wouldn’t relive my 20s or 30s and I am happier now than I was at 20 or 30. I am 100% done with school after two bachelors and one masters degree, we have no debt, I am done with pregnancies, and I am very happy with myself and my marriage. I wish my body was less cranky and I didn’t have autoimmune issues or arthritis, but I vastly prefer my mental age and maturity to be what it is. I hear younger girls and women feeling angst about their bodies, careers, and relationships and I am so happy I no longer worry what people think of me unless they know me well enough and are wise enough to be worthy of having an opinion about me.
I take all these things with a grain of salt. We’re all different.
My mid-late 40s were excellent, professionally and personally (post the transition to No Kids). I’m now in my 50s, and not nearly as happy. In your 50s you may have elder care issues, lose one or more parents, lose jobs through redundancy, struggle to get something new because of ageism (and sexism), face health issues, menopause, worry about retirement, etc.
And thinking about menopause – I hope the study (I couldn’t find details) researched women AND men equally.
Maybe they mean late-50s. I hope so. I’m not quite there yet, and want to know it gets better.
Yes, it has been generally true for me. I angested more in my 20s & 30s and even 40s.
I do think that whether you have kids and WHEN you have kids (in your 20s vs, say, in your 40s) can change the curves of the U.