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Are We Really Unhappy?

It feels like I’m being told with increasing frequency that I’m unhappy.  The more I dive deeply into happiness research, the more I find studies charting our underlying unhappiness.  Not as individuals, but collectively, as a member of humanity.

We’re not operating a peak happiness.  We are in an unhappiness epidemic.

Except… they’re two very different things.  I mean, I could be averaging a B+ in happiness, and that is still a damn good grade, even though I could clearly put in a little more self-reflection and gratitude practices and boost my happiness grade to an A-.  Or I could be getting a D in happiness, barely passing this life lesson.

I read that article linked to above because I was interested in the connection to screens and whether social media contributes more positive than negatives to my life.  I wanted to know what is the right amount of non-work-related screen time (since all of my work takes place on a screen).  It turns out the amount is about an hour a day.  More than that and your happiness decreases.  No screen time at all and your happiness decreases, too.

But, again, increases and decreases are very imprecise terms.  Are we talking about a 1% drop in happiness?  Did I drop from a 98% happiness level to a 97% happiness level, and would I really be able to discern the difference between the two levels?  Or did I drop from a 98% happiness level to a 56% happiness level, and it’s so noticeable that I need to fix this situation?

I am fascinated by happiness research and the general sense of whether it is measurable when our memories are so faulty.  How can I compare my happiness level today to my happiness level from yesterday when I only have a vague sense of yesterday?

I guess that’s really where I’m interested; the intersection of memory research (and how accurately we remember things) and happiness research.  Can we really tell our happiness levels?

6 comments

1 Ana { 02.20.18 at 10:28 am }

Definitely I agree with you. Also, I think the definition of “happiness” is so fuzzy and variable, that I don’t know if you can compare between cultures or time periods. If 50 years ago “happy” meant generally comfortable in life and now it means utter fulfillment in every aspect, for example, we are looking at apples and oranges. And then there is the question of whether “happiness” is the right metric to quantify the success of a person or society. Thinking back to yesterday…was I happy? I don’t really remember feeling any particular way. But I had a productive day at work, ate good food, spent time with my healthy children, husband, and dog, and got a good night’s sleep in a warm cozy bed. So maybe I would say “satisfied”? “content”?

2 torthuil { 02.20.18 at 11:19 am }

I’m inclined to think that worrying about whether you are happy or not is a good way to be unhappy.

3 Cristy { 02.20.18 at 3:46 pm }

It seems to me that “happiness research” is the new “weight-loss” program. Not happy in life? Well, that’s because you either have too much or too little screen time. Kinda like strictly adhering to the Akins diet vs. Whole30.

Frankly, I don’t think there’s a magic prescription for happiness (no more than I believe there’s a perfect diet plan for the whole of humanity). I think it’s individualistic. But then again, I don’t view unhappiness as something that needs to be eliminated either. Too much “happiness” can also be a bad thing.

4 Mali { 02.20.18 at 4:44 pm }

I’ve read that the quest for happiness is in fact a recipe for the opposite. Happiness its something that comes or goes, I think. Feeling content is something calmer, and less demanding.

I’ve also read or heard – forgive me – that this pursuit of happiness is predominantly a US obsession. I guess with your Declaration of Independence, you can’t help yourselves!
Though maybe not, given the comments so far (which I love).

5 xykademiqz { 02.20.18 at 10:18 pm }

Here’s a suitable comic from The Oatmeal.

6 Lori Lavender Luz { 02.21.18 at 10:14 am }

Memory is such an interesting aspect on this because it’s so unreliable. I mean, the teen years are among the most angsty of our lives, but we tend to remember them with a Wonder Years-type of happy nostalgia. Our memories do something to highlight the happy times (which, I think, would be fewer) and hide from access the angsty times (more numerous, perhaps).

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