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Controlling Annoyances

I read the best piece of advice.  It was about controlling your emotions when you’re getting annoyed by the small things in life. ” Annoyances are small, not serious problems, and it would make all of us and the people around us happier if we could learn to stop being bothered by them.”  Amen.

And the advice was spot on and all do-able, especially the idea of telling yourself you’re being watched and acting accordingly.  Or not telling yourself the story of your annoyance while you’re annoyed because constructing the story you’re going to tell others actually gets you more irritated.  (Um… so I shouldn’t write blog posts in my head when I discover Wallaby maple yogurt has been discontinued.)  And I like the idea of giving my imaginary self what I want even if my actual self can’t have it.

The problem, of course, is dividing the annoyances from the more-than-just-annoyances.  I’m sure there is a scientific scale that ranks irritants from neutral to boiling rage, so there has to be a term for something that is more than being annoyed that you have to wait in line but less than having a screaming match with someone or watching the news.  (What?  Am I the only person who feels like screaming every time she looks at the news?)

All of those listed steps helped to curb my frustration when it was at a low, manageable level.  But rage sort of feels like that episode of I Love Lucy when they’re working in the chocolate factory.  When the chocolates (or annoyances) first start moving down the conveyor belt, it’s simple to deal with them quickly and effectively.  It’s when the chocolates (or annoyances) start moving at a brisk clip that pretending someone is watching or giving my imaginary self what I want is too flimsy to hold up to the irritant.

Still.  Better than being annoyed at the truly little things?  Now I just need help figuring out the annoyances that are truly annoyances and the things that are more than annoyances.  And the annoyances that stem from strangers vs. people I know; the impersonal from the personal, which adds an additional layer to an annoyance.

Read the advice in the articles and tell me what you think.

6 comments

1 Working mom of 2 { 01.16.18 at 10:03 am }

I do find myself often thinking “these are first world privileged white person problems.” But I think the current climate of hate and chaos tends to make one jumpy—the constant strain (even when you’re prileged and white and still have healthcare etc) makes any little annoyance seem like the last straw. Also, getting less than optimal sleep (I gotta stop reading news on my phone at nite) doesn’t help.

2 Raven { 01.16.18 at 10:10 am }

I like this pointers…as a matter of fact, I’m going to send them to Mr. Big who spends most work days annoyed with smallish things. I really think this could help him. Like you, though, I feel like they are not so helpful with larger irritants, or large piles of irritants….it may help prevent the pile up, though, so that’s a plus!

3 a { 01.16.18 at 11:43 am }

I’m generally fairly good at being patient when I can imagine what the hold up might be. But none of those tricks are going to make me any less irritated at people who are rude in traffic. I don’t care who’s watching, and I don’t generally vent about annoyances later (unless they’re really egregious), so those tips are not really relevant. Giving myself what I need in my imagination? Nah – I’m better at deciding that what I need isn’t THAT necessary and a small adjustment won’t really matter.

I do try to tell my daughter these things, though. She’s kind of irritable with kids her age, so I’m constantly telling her how it doesn’t actually affect her, or how circumstances of which she is unaware may be dictating someone else’s behavior. I think it helps a little.

4 Ana { 01.16.18 at 12:31 pm }

I think these are good tips, and I’ve been doing much better at ignoring day to day annoyances since I simply stopped letting them ruin my day. I think I need to use some of these with my always-irritated and “today is the worst day ever” (every.single.day) kid

5 Cristy { 01.16.18 at 1:05 pm }

I’m very guilty of getting annoyed very easily, mainly due to things being unstable at the moment. But the narrative is the one I’m most guilty of, with me finding that as I play over the scene in my head, I get angrier and angrier. So tip 4 & 5 are good for me too. What’s also good is recognizing that everyone has a story. Sure, that cashier may be bad, but there’s likely a reason why this isn’t their ideal job. Or the stranger yelling at me may be a jerk, but yelling may be the only way they’ve learned to deal with their frustrations.

6 Sharon { 01.16.18 at 1:50 pm }

Like the author of the first piece, I am easily annoyed and always have been. I can see myself putting some of these tips into action. In fact, I think that I already do #5 quite a bit — ha! 🙂

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