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#MicroblogMondays 173: Spontaneous

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I read a post that rang true for me about why introverts hate spontaneity.  I am probably the least spontaneous person I know.  If I went to Ollivanders, he’d hand me a wand that is made out of cement.  Completely inflexible.

Of course I dipped into the comment section and there were people arguing that they are introverts who love spontaneity and the two aren’t mutually exclusive.  Of course, they aren’t, but the original argument rang true for me.  I need time to mentally psych myself up for interacting with people, and I need to know when I’m getting my downtime.  I can’t commit to one without knowing the other.

So, do you like spontaneity?  And are you introverted or extroverted? (Though I know someone will argue that we’re all a little of both.)


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1. Empty Arms, Broken Heart 7. Mali (No Kidding) 13. Mary Francis
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1 Beth { 12.18.17 at 6:56 am }

I am introverted and I do not like spontaneity. I like a plan. I like to know when I’m going to have to socialize and also when it’s going to be over.

I just went through this discussion with my husband regarding holiday time spent with specific family members. There was some vague mention of an activity during our school break. The idea of this hanging over our break (I don’t want to spent any more time with these family members) was so stressful for me that I suggested we move that up to this weekend to get it over with. My husband was laughing because why wouldn’t I just try to cancel the activity? That hadn’t really occurred to me (I thought he wanted to do this activity) and the real issue was knowing what was going to happen and when, and most important having an end date. Knowing that our school break would be free of these plans was good enough for me to offer to squeeze in something extra early. That’s how much I don’t like spontaneity.

2 Cristy { 12.18.17 at 12:25 pm }

Laughing at the idea of an introvert who loves spontaneity. Seriously, those exist?!?!?

I’ve learned to adapt to spontaneity. Adapt as in multiple deep breathes and reminding myself that it will all be okay.

On that note, I suspect you love surprise parties about as much as I do.

3 Lavonne @ the OCD infertile { 12.18.17 at 1:34 pm }

I would like to think I am spontaneous but I think in reality I am much too OCD to just “do”. I have to usually have an organized plan and be prepared before doing anything. But after I have a plan, LET’S GO! So maybe that doesn’t count as being spontaneous but I am adventurous 🙂

4 Sharon { 12.18.17 at 1:39 pm }

I am extroverted, and I don’t really like spontaneity. I am a planner by nature.

5 Risa Kerslake { 12.18.17 at 1:45 pm }

Ha! Total introvert here. And I think it depends on the even that’s spontaneous. My husband coming home and asking if I want to go out to eat? Hell yeah. Surprise party? No thanks.

6 Mali { 12.18.17 at 5:30 pm }

I am also more introvert than extrovert, and like to be able to plan. Don’t call in on me without phoning in advance!

But spontaneity can be great, simply because it doesn’t give me the opportunity to come up with all the worst-case scenarios, because “psyching myself up” means preparing for the positives and negatives. (I blame my mother, and Girl Guides’ “Be Prepared” motto, for this habit of mine!)

Some years ago, I made a decision that I would say “yes” to something unless there was a reason to say “no.” This has given me more of a social life, and spontaneity doesn’t give me the time to think of reasons to say “no.” So it is a good thing in that it eliminates all that worry.

Learning to “go with the flow” has given me a real freedom.

7 Jess { 12.18.17 at 10:09 pm }

Huh…I did a test once and came out as an extroverted introvert (which is crazy oxymoronic). I am the definition of inflexible. I like the idea of spontaneity, but I hate not knowing what the flippity flap is going on. Even just the other day we were driving to a holiday party and I asked Bryce where we were going and he was like, “I’ll know it when I see it” and it caused me SO MUCH ANXIETY — how do I know when to put my turn signal on??? I can’t just drive into the ether! What the heck? I want to love spontaneity, but the draw of a real good plan is just too strong. I can survive with people and can be social in situations where I know what’s expected, but I really do enjoy my quiet time and need it to survive. So, um, what does that make me?

8 Stephanie (Travelcraft Journal) { 12.18.17 at 11:51 pm }

I think it also has to do with anxiety – which unknown/uncertain things can make worse. So even though I like the idea of being spontaneous (and sometimes am), it eases my mind to know what to expect.

9 Mary Francis { 12.19.17 at 1:37 am }

A few years ago, I was staying in a holiday cottage in Devon where I found a book that changed my life, “The Power of Quiet’ by Susan Cain. She convinced me that I’m an introvert. She writes that it depends where you are energised: with people, or in solitude. That’s an oversimplification, do google her, she has some fascinating things to teach ..

10 Lori Shandle-Fox { 12.19.17 at 9:50 am }

I’m an extrovert and I like spontaneity but I also love a lot of time alone. I’m not a party person. My husband is an introvert but I think, at least the introverts I know, there’s a lot of anxiety involved. It’s not just shyness. In some ways, he’s better with spontaneity because there’s no time to second guess or procrastinate which are extremely anxiety-producing.

11 Lori Lavender Luz { 12.19.17 at 11:38 am }

I like spontaneity in small to medium measures. Introvert here.

12 Chandra Lynn { 12.19.17 at 7:32 pm }

Introvert. Need a plan. And still might back out. Eek!

13 a { 12.20.17 at 1:06 pm }

Introvert – don’t mind spontaneity, as I am generally too lazy to plan. But I’m a pretty logical person, and not much of a worrier, so I can go with the flow sometimes. However…if I have a plan, DO NOT try to derail it because I will get upset.

14 loribeth { 12.31.17 at 6:37 pm }

I am introverted. I am very much a creature of habit (and dh even more so) — but I will admit I sometimes wish for a little more spontaneity in my life, at least occasionally. I’ve always been a little envious of the woman in the commercial who drops her husband off at the airport, only to have him hold up two tickets to Paris. Surprise!! I know that’s never going to happen to me, but the thought is not unappealing. 😉

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