Past Embarrassments
I was trying to fill out a form in Hebrew recently, and it asked me for a bunch of names. While you use a normal last name configuration for secular things like banking or mail, you use a lineage configuration in religious situations. The formula: Name, daughter/son of Name and Name. That name never changes, even if you change your last name with marriage.
While I clearly know all of my siblings’ names and a few other people’s names off the top of my head, I have to look up everyone else or ask them. No problem: I had a ton of names written down in our wedding program.
Let’s start by saying that while I remember that the program was a little on the long side, I hadn’t seen it in 16 years. Josh and I both fell over laughing when we pulled it out of the storage file. First of all, it was BOUND. It had so many pages — 22 in total — that our wedding program needed to be bound. Next, it went into ridiculously minute detail on not only every aspect of the ceremony as well as our feelings and thoughts on every aspect of the ceremony BUT it also included ridiculously minute details about everything that happened OUTSIDE of the ceremony. Like stuff we did the week before.
But the worst… the absolute worst… it was written so earnestly, so passionately, that we barely stopped short of rubbing each other verbally with goose fat.
Who were these assholes who used to inhabit our body? What made them think printing a 22-page program would be a good idea?
So we want to apologize to everyone who attended our wedding. And we promise: our next life-cycle event program will be brief. Definitely under 16 pages. We clearly learned our lesson.
11 comments
Why am I not surprised by this? 😁😁😁
^^what a said. I am not at all surprised that your wedding program was 22 pages. Not at all.
Hahaha 😊
Yup, another one in the not surprised camp. I don’t mean that in any way as an insult. It’s cute
I am laughing at the thought of what mine would have said if I would have included the details that occurred the week before my wedding. 😳
Ugh! Given that we got married the weekend after 9/11, I can’t even imagine what would be in mine.
We have our wedding program. Not 22 pages, but definitely bound and stylishly put together in a manner reflective of our younger selves.
Makes me smile to see how naive we were.
That’s funny!
I’d come to the 16-pager event. As long as there’s wifi and goose fondue.
What’s a wedding programme? I’m serious. Is it what you send out with the invitations? Or is it for the day itself?
How wonderful though to be able to laugh at yourselves together.
Still have copies of mine too… and it’s a multiple-page stapled booklet — but that’s because it included the entire order of service, including prayers, instructions for the congregation (sit, kneel, join in the prayer, etc.), title & author of all the musical selections, as well as the names of all the ushers & bridesmaids, minister, readers, organist & soloist — all typed and then photocopied, assembled & stapled by yours truly. Now you have me wild with curiosity to see yours!
teehee! Mine was the opposite. My mom had to edit it so it didn’t read like a technical report and then I had to make her take out some over the top flowery language that was so NOT me. or S.