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#MicroblogMondays 152: You Have What It Takes

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I recently read a post on Modern Mrs. Darcy that stuck with me long after I closed the browser.  It’s a very simple idea, but one that is life-altering if put into continual practice.

Lie to yourself.

Okay, so the post isn’t really about lying to yourself.  But it’s about making the conscious decision every time you are nervous or unsure about something that you have what it takes.  Say those words to yourself: “Oh, Melissa (well, fill in your own name), don’t worry about it because you have what it takes.”  And then proceed as if someone else that you trust a lot has reassured you that you are up for the task.

She talks about it in terms of surfing, but it applies everywhere.  It’s a powerful feeling to go from being unsure about a decision to deciding you have what it takes and moving ahead.  Both with the small things and the very huge, life changing things.

So what are you telling yourself today that you have what it takes?  What difficult moment are you trying to get through, or what new path are you unsure about starting?

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24 comments

1 Nabanita { 07.24.17 at 5:50 am }

I guess what it takes to deal with people at work is what i keep telling myself and that I’m good enough

2 Diane { 07.24.17 at 6:43 am }

I desperately want to leaving teaching but I continue to tell myself I don’t have the skills to for other jobs or I won’t bring in enough income if I leave. The truth is, I’m simply scared to leave because of all the “what ifs” running through my head.

3 Middle Girl { 07.24.17 at 7:55 am }

As I continue to face deadline after deadline, telling myself it will get better. Namely, I’ll get better and begin to get ahead.

4 Mali { 07.24.17 at 8:15 am }

I’m desperately teething to pluck up courage to launch that business I blogged about a few weeks Argo. I need to tell myself I’ll be great, but I’m not very good at lying. It’s funny that I wrote a post today about being honest. Maybe I should have written it about courage.

5 Mali { 07.24.17 at 8:18 am }

Okay, my predictive text and swipe keyboard combined to produce some gibberish. “trying” not “teething” “ago” not “Argo”

6 Cathy { 07.24.17 at 8:22 am }

I am learning a quite lengthy new piece of music to sing at a concert in a few weeks time. Not by myself but as part of a choir – And even though it’s not a solo I still have to tell myself my voice is as good as anyone else’s there – even tho’ I know it isn’t.

7 Counting Pink Lines { 07.24.17 at 9:54 am }

I’m not sure that will actually work for me. I have a tough enough time accepting such feedback from someone I trust..

8 Jess { 07.24.17 at 10:23 am }

I do this with varying levels of success… Like, “You can do this, Jess. You can hold a baby and have conversations about the experience you won’t ever have without getting distraught until later.” or “You can make it up this mountain trail even though you feel like your 40-something-year-old heart might explode from the exertion.” It’s a good visualization, I can see how it works! It doesn’t always get me off the floor quickly, but it does get me off the floor eventually. Also, helpful when going back to school and I have the fear that I’ve utterly forgotten how to teach. 🙂

9 Karen { 07.24.17 at 10:24 am }

Right now I’m unsure of how I’m going to find the time to spend putting together this writing project I want to do. I’m stealing moments here and there to write, which is great, but a cohesive large project like this scares me, mostly because I don’t have the time to immerse myself in it, so I’m going to have to cut it into tiny bits. And I’m afraid I’m going to lose interest because it’s going to take me FORRRRRREVER to do.

I’m working on having faith in myself that I can do this, but my track record isn’t very good with this kind of stuff, and life is really busy. Soooooo yeah. I probably need to decide to stay on the board.

10 Modern Gypsy { 07.24.17 at 10:28 am }

Ah yes, I’ve tried this technique and it works! When I have to stand up in front of a room full of people and make a presentation is when I use it the most!

11 Vaibhav { 07.24.17 at 10:51 am }

You’re talking about “Fake it till you make it”, and I can confirm it works wonders.

I’m personally in a good place right now – really getting back into flow now. It’s been half a year that the depression has faded.

I was really struggling with Chester Bennington’s suicide this past week though, so I started a new series called One More Light of Gratitude (my Microblog link today, funnily enough).

12 Turia { 07.24.17 at 11:25 am }

I totally put this book on hold at the library after reading that post!

I am always fighting Imposter Syndrome with my academic work so today I am telling myself that I absolutely will do my book revisions and submit it again. I think I will be telling myself this for months, but I hope eventually the repetition will sink in and once I start the postdoc in September I will make the time to actually DO the revisions.

13 Rennata { 07.24.17 at 1:10 pm }

I am still putting my life back together after a long bout of depression. I tell myself this about anything that is a struggle.

14 Delayedbutnotdenied { 07.24.17 at 1:28 pm }

I’m trying to navigate the next step. Do I get another laparoscopy before IVF #4? I’ve had a bout of insomnia most days in July 2017 so far. Shall I wait a few months before I go in for egg stimulation? These are my “difficult moments” at the moment. Oh, and coping with preggos and fertiles. But I’ve made great strides! I’m really proud of myself how far I’ve come.

15 Sharon { 07.24.17 at 2:39 pm }

I’ve heard of this approach to life or challenges before, more often by the phrase “fake it ’til you make it.” I think it works for some things.

16 JustHeather { 07.24.17 at 3:40 pm }

I think I’m still mostly in the stage of denial. 😀 I’m not quite there telling myself I can make it and that I am enough. I’m trying though, that’s what counts, right?

17 Traci York { 07.24.17 at 4:13 pm }

LOL! Yep, I’ve been lying to myself for almost three weeks now, but not so much that I have what it takes. More like, everything is going to be okay – and in the moments I believe myself (which are surprisingly more than the moments I don’t), it does make a big difference.

18 Risa Kerslake { 07.24.17 at 4:56 pm }

Ah, how timely. I want to start picking up more freelancing but there are so many doubts and wondering if I’m a “good enough” writer. It sucks. So I needed to hear this today.

19 Inexplicably Missing { 07.24.17 at 5:14 pm }

I think I did it here in my post actually! Going back to work from a break, telling myself toughen up, you can do it. 🙂

20 Chandra Lynn { 07.24.17 at 5:41 pm }

Ugh! At this moment, I’m “talking to myself” and “reassuring myself” about a million things. I’ve just pulled up the blog post and will be reading it this evening after things quiet down.

21 Stephanie (Travelcraft Journal) { 07.24.17 at 6:06 pm }

When I’m feeling stressed, a lot of times I’ll tell myself “you can figure this out.” Because I get skeptical of myself if I’m too positive. XD But the thought that I will be able to find a solution or some way to handle a situation, even if I don’t know how just yet, works for me.

22 Jivf { 07.24.17 at 6:55 pm }

I don’t like the term lying to yourself but I’m a big fan of “fake it til you make it!”

23 Mary Francis { 07.25.17 at 3:32 am }

I am challenged by not having any challenges! Kind of pleased about that, but slightly concerned that maybe I should be doing SOMETHING that requires some degree of stretch …

24 Lori Lavender Luz { 07.26.17 at 5:45 pm }

I like what Amy Cuddy had to say about body positioning and stress/confidence in her TED Talk, and I like this framework, too. I have used it to overcome fear, and that works in cases in which fear is what defeats me. Like public speaking or other ways of putting myself out there. I might have to try it the next time with a physical challenge that I probably CAN do but am afraid to. Like a simple handstand. Hmmmm….could I?

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