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368th Friday Blog Roundup

I am a big fan of rules.  I like to be given a set of instructions, and I like to follow them.  I’m the sort who does really really well when someone says, “I’d like 500 words written about iguanas, and I want it by 4 pm on Tuesday.”  I can promise you, you would have those 500 words about iguanas by 3:59 pm Tuesday.  Who am I kidding?  You’d have them by 5 pm Monday.  Unless you told me that you only want the piece on Tuesday.  In that case, I would finish it by Monday and then place a post-it note reminder some place conspicuous so I don’t forget to give it to you promptly at 4 pm Tuesday.

I have a library book due today.  On Tuesday night, I realized that I would never finish it in time.  I began stressing out about the idea of leaving the book unfinished.  I started talking incessantly about how I couldn’t finish the book rather than sitting and reading the book.  My plan was to return the book to the library and then linger there for hours until the book went back on the shelf so I could snatch it up and check it out again.

Finally, Josh gently said, “at 50 cents a day, why don’t you just keep the book out a few extra days, apologize to the librarian, and pay the fine.”

Is he fucking kidding?  Isn’t keeping out a library book past the due date as badass as snorting coke off your dashboard as you do 90 up the shoulder of I-95 the day before Thanksgiving?

Keeping out library books past their due date is illeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeegal.

What?  It’s not actually a law?

I decided to let Josh be a bad influence on me and keep the book out a few extra days.  I can’t remember the last time I was this wild.

What would you have done if you were in the middle of a book you really wanted to read with no chance of getting your hands on it again for a long time?  Would you have returned it and bought a copy?  Not returned it and eaten the fines?  Returned it and waited months to check it out again?  Hang around the library until it goes back on the shelf?  Or something far crazier than the options I was considering?


And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week as well as the week before.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

Okay, now my choices this week.

Do Without Doing has a post about scars— the physical kind as well as those left behind by infertility.  I especially love the ending: “It seems like every piece of my life has been touched by infertility.  Scars do heal, but they leave a mark.”  You’ll need to read the whole post to understand.

Waiting for Little Feet has a letter she wrote to her grandmother who has been gone for 10 years.  Though they didn’t really connect on an emotional level while her grandmother was alive, she has since felt a kinship with her knowing their similar fertility stories.  She sees her grandparent’s marriage in an entirely new light; a situation created both by circumstances and the time period in which the miscarriages were experienced.  She cannot go backwards in time and talk about this with her grandmother; she can only go forward knowing that strong women came before her.  A warning; bring tissues for the end of the post.

Reese Dixon has a fantastic post about watching the Muppet movie with her son.  Okay, her post got me bawling at this point: “Then came a part in the movie when Kermit and Miss Piggy sang Rainbow Connection, and I totally lost it. I was overwhelmed in that moment of watching my baby love something that I loved, awash in the nostalgia of my own childhood, reconnecting with what felt like long lost friends, and that scene in Matilda came back to me. As bad as things were before, that’s how good they became.”  A beautiful, must-read post about realizing how far you’ve come.

Life and Love in the Petri Dish has a post about her sister becoming her egg donor.  The post was fascinating.  The lines that stuck out the most for me were that “Her take home message was that my sister’s ability to donate eggs to us would be a gift, an amazing gift. And one that we might need to work a little harder on just learning to receive and say thank you for, rather than analyzing it and then analyzing it some more.”  That was just a huge, huge, huge thought — applicable in so many places in life.  I loved how this post made me think.

Lastly, The Elusive Second Line has a post about being 5 dpo.  She admits, “My husband was concerned that I was going to be upset if this cycle didn’t work, I assured him that I wouldn’t be since I did not expect it to work.  I lied.”  But that wasn’t why I loved this to-pee-or-not-to-pee post.  It’s for this line: “Decisions suck. Almost as much as infertility.”  Damn straight.

The roundup to the Roundup: I play by the library rules and lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between November 18th and November 25th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.


1 Stephanie { 11.25.11 at 8:21 am }

My library books are always late. Always. I thought that made me disorganized…but “bad ass” sounds a million times better!

2 jodifur { 11.25.11 at 8:57 am }

You can renew the book online.

3 mash { 11.25.11 at 8:57 am }

Oooooooooh I’m such a rule nerd. I tie myself in knots. And it isn’t easy in a country where just about everyone flouts the rules, you won’t BELIEVE how often people are swearing at me out their windows for sticking to the speed limit. But now… can’t you phone the library and extend the loan of the book? Are you telling me that is only available in 3rd world countries?? Either way, enjoy breaking the rules ha ha ha. It’s liberating sometimes!

4 It Is What It Is { 11.25.11 at 9:04 am }

I’d renew it on-line (and our local library gives a one day grace period so that would work in my favor, too).

5 Lollipopgoldstein { 11.25.11 at 9:09 am }

Oh, I should have made that clear — you can’t renew Library Express books. They have a finite 3 week loan period. All other library books you can renew, but not these. The flip side is no one is waiting for it because they have no wait list. They’re first come first serve.

6 Her Royal Fabulousness { 11.25.11 at 9:13 am }

As a fellow rule-follower, I have been in this dilemma before. As much as I am a “I won’t do something wrong because I am always the one to get caught” girl, I have kept it a few extra days and paid the fine. However, if I am so far from finishing that I know I need it for more than a week, I just buy a copy.

Thank you SO MUCH for featuring my blog post. I am really proud of that one. Plus, as a newish writer, it means a lot to me to have my work recognized. You made my day.

7 Her Royal Fabulousness { 11.25.11 at 9:20 am }

Oh! And I wanted to mention this post from Detour. It touches on how hard it is to keep optimism in light of TTC struggles.


8 loribeth { 11.25.11 at 10:04 am }

I am generally a stickler for rules… I have an incredibly guilty conscience. One of the reasons why I resisted doing drugs as a teenager was that I just KNEW that *I* would be the one who got caught. :p That said, I would probably keep the book an extra few days & swallow the fine. ; ) At least I would feel as though I had made amends of some kind. ; )

I have two posts (so far) that I wanted to post here today. By the Brooke posted a tribute to Jacqueline Kennedy — who endured a miscarriage, a stillbirth and a neonatal death, on top of the assassination of her husband — on the 48th anniversary of President Kennedy’s death:


And a picture of a sled in a catalogue brings back memories of what once was, and thoughts of what will never be, for Mrs. Spit…Still Spouting Off:


9 Jen { 11.25.11 at 10:21 am }

What does it say about me that even thinking about sending a book back late triggers waves of guilt and apprehension?

But leaving that aside… I would keep the book, set myself a new deadline (cos you have to have a deadline, right?), then return it with a note to the librarian apologising and saying I really appreaciate all the good work they do. Especially with all the cuts and closures at the moment as many libraries in the UK are struggling to stay open.

The librarian will think I am weird but will hopefully feel appreciated, and all guilt will be assuaged!

10 Hope { 11.25.11 at 10:38 am }

I’ve kept a book I couldn’t renew an extra few days, and eaten the fine. I’m usually very conscientious about returning books on-time.

I grew up in a small town, though, with a library that had 4 week check-out times, plus a 5 day “grace period” before fines kicked in (you could also renew books once). The big city 3 week, no grace period system had me, at my first time returning books to the library, asking why there was a fine, because they were still within the “grace period”! And I thought 3 weeks was *such* a short check-out time! But then I realized that I got 2 renewals for a total of 9 weeks, which was actually one week more than the maximum of 8 weeks I could get at my small town library. So after that I was happy. 🙂 Although I can’t say I was never late returning a book again. 😉

11 Chickenpig { 11.25.11 at 10:56 am }

I am actually in that dilemma right now. I took The Tiger’s Wife out of the library, and I have been on the last chapter for days because I haven’t had time to sit and read it. Our library return day was like the Tuesday before last!!! AAAAG! They are more than a WEEK overdue now but I just want to get to those last few pages that should wrap up the whole story. If it was half of the book I probably would have bought the Kindle edition by now and returned it, but I’m not buying a whole book for one chapter.

12 Chickenpig { 11.25.11 at 10:58 am }

PS don’t feel too bad about returning a book a little late. I worked in my college Library to pay for school, and they use that fine money. Just consider it a donation 🙂

13 Sarah { 11.25.11 at 12:23 pm }

Our library lets you renew the book online :).

14 a { 11.25.11 at 12:41 pm }

Well, if it’s first come, first served with no wait list, I would take it back to the library, wait for them to check it in, and then say “Ooh! I’d like to check that out!” Because that technically follows the rules, but I still get what I want. If I didn’t think the library would cooperate, then I’d just suck it up, devote myself to finishing the book and pay the fines. *Note: I actually did this to get Twilight – there was a waiting list, but the online list said Available, and they hadn’t sent it out yet, so when I asked for it (I could see it on the cart behind the counter), they said “hmmm – well, it’s really first come, first served, if we haven’t already marked it for transport. So you can have it.”

15 Esperanza { 11.25.11 at 1:06 pm }

Can’t you extend the check out time online? Unless it’s a new release I think you can. If it were a new release and I hadn’t finished it I would keep it a few days until I could. Probably I wouldn’t realize it was due even though I would have gotten an email reminder that it was.

16 Billy { 11.25.11 at 2:35 pm }

Unfortunatly I haven’t taken a book out of the library in ever so long, but when I did, I was often late returnig them. No fines here! [and so that I won’t be stoned for being such a terrible person, the librarian admitted that the books I take or not the “hot” books, nobody really took them, so it’s kind of okay…]
And one time when I was really late returning this book, as in really late for me who is late often enough, she told me that if I didn’t like the book I don’t have to try and force myself into reading it, I could just return it unread (how did she know??)

[not sure about the waiting for the book to be put back on the shelf. I think here if I retured a book I still wated to read, I would tell the librarian and she would (unless somebody else reserved it) let me have it again..]
But to answer your question, if those are the terms, I guess I’d go with the fine.

17 Kathryn Jennex { 11.25.11 at 2:37 pm }

Definitely hung on and paid the fine. By the way, what book is it? 🙂

18 Lori Lavender Luz { 11.25.11 at 6:02 pm }

You bad bad BAD girl!

This week a book I let lie around for 2.5 weeks came due, and someone else was waiting for it so I couldn’t renew.

So I noted the page I was on (p. 45) and made a special trip to the library to return it. At home I got online again to get on the request queue.

Hours later, I got a notice that it was available for pickup. But the library has been closed ever since.

Sigh. It doesn’t pay to be good!

19 Tigger { 11.25.11 at 9:44 pm }

I read this to Aaron and he said “Tell her she’s supporting her local library.” 🙂 And 50 cents a day? Wow, fines have gone up since I was a kid. I remember it being 10 cents a day and I STILL managed to keep my library in business all by myself (according to my mother).

20 Justine { 11.25.11 at 11:13 pm }

I NEVER return library books late. That would be paving the road to hell. Have you SEEN those librarians? They *know* things.

I probably would have returned it and checked it out again. Or maybe just returned it and given myself a talking-to for not finishing it on time. 😉

You are a wild woman.

21 Baby Smiling In Back Seat { 11.26.11 at 1:24 am }

This is why I don’t go to the library. I can’t handle the time pressure, even before the due date. That, and I like to own books.

22 May { 11.26.11 at 4:46 am }

I AM a librarian and I OFTEN return books late.

Yes, I know, the SHAME.

As long as you pay the fine without fussing, bitching, throwing the book at the librarian’s head, calling him or her names, stamping your feet or tantruming like a toddler, the librarians will LOVE you. In fact, I PARTICULARLY love my clients who pay their fines without fussing. I know they’re conscientious and I’m far more likely to waive a fine for them than for the shouty ranty brigade.

23 Brandy { 11.29.11 at 10:48 am }

I always see my library fines as part of my “civic duty” and giving back to the community. After all, the library gets the money and they eventually get the book back from me. 🙂

24 gingerandlime { 11.29.11 at 4:16 pm }

My library books are always late. I thought it meant I was irresponsible … I like your characterization of “badass” much better! However, I’ve recently moved, and in my new town I am on library probation: I have to successfully borrow and return 9 items, 3 at a time, before I can be a fully fledged library patron. So I am really toeing the line for now!

25 Jendeis { 11.30.11 at 12:47 pm }

This is why we’re kindred spirits. Here’s my MIL’s answer to this conundrum: have Josh go with you to the library and have him check it out on his card (no need to go through the return process). 🙂

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