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335th Friday Blog Roundup

I have a lot to say, but my thoughts are a jumbly mess.  I don’t think now would be a good time to try to place them down in a post.  Nor does it feel right to not write about it and write about something else, if that makes any sense.

Whenever I use the term “jumbly,” I think about Edward Lear’s poem, “The Jumblies.”  It reminds me of one of my closet friends who biked through SE Asia (hello, sweetest).  I believe I told her that she was wonderful AND crazy before she left.  And I definitely told her that she was wonderful, crazy, and lucky when she returned.

They went to sea in a Sieve, they did,
In a Sieve they went to sea:
In spite of all their friends could say,
On a winter’s morn, on a stormy day,
In a Sieve they went to sea!
And when the Sieve turned round and round,
And every one cried, ‘You’ll all be drowned!’
They called aloud, ‘Our Sieve ain’t big,
But we don’t care a button! we don’t care a fig!
In a Sieve we’ll go to sea!’
Far and few, far and few,
Are the lands where the Jumblies live;
Their heads are green, and their hands are blue,
And they went to sea in a Sieve.

If you don’t know this poem, I would click over and read the whole thing.  I think it should be handed out at every graduation, read by everyone who is at any crossroad.

When I hear that poem, I think about the people who take chances and the people who point out the rational facts and the people who go down in a sieve and those who somehow make it to the other side.  And is it all just luck?  Or is there something more to it?


As I said in the NaBloPoMo post:

NaBloPoMo is also a good fit because it is now the receptacle of my daily, unending string of questions, which have now been shunted into daily writing prompts.  One of which I will offer each week in Roundup to entice you to one day commit to doing NaBloPoMo.  I’m calling it ComOnNaPro (Comment on NaBloPoMo Prompt) — a chance to test in a comment if you have the brain power to do a full month of NaBloPoMo.

So try your hand at a single prompt each week and if you can think of an answer, perhaps consider doing the entire month at some point.

ComOnNaPro: Discuss a friendship that has sprouted from interactions on the Internet.

You can either answer this in a comment, or if you’re moved to do so, answer it in a post on your blog and then come back here and let me know the permalink to the post.


And now, the blogs…

Wonderfully Ordinary has a post about going home as well as caring for aging parents.  It is something I hadn’t considered before, and as someone in advance maternal age, it has given me food for thought about the future of my children.  The point she makes is that while all children will turn around and care for their parents, she is doing it at a much younger age than most people since her parents were older when they had her.  She writes, “It doesn’t feel that long ago that we used to joke about that and now it’s here.  So I knew this would happen, but I didn’t know it would happen now.”  Is it hard to read — yes.  But I think it’s also important to hear even if there is nothing one can do to change a situation.

When she found herself being mocked on a message board, Write Mind Open Heart countered with this thoughtful post about why she is anti anti-open adoption (she may also be pro-open adoption, but there is actually a distinct difference she is making here).  It’s an interesting read and a thought-provoking read, but it’s also a even-handed response that provides Googlers who come over from the fray with the other side.

Twice the Fun (Plus One)’s post about her unused name made me bawl.  As I said in my comment over there: “We have this name for our third child picked out and there is a little stretch of road that always makes me think of this name. I have to drive it several times a week and when I do, I think this name in my head. The twins are usually with me in the back seat when this happens and when it does, I feel both here and not here. At the same time.”  It’s an interesting thought — the child who is almost corporal who isn’t there, simply based on a name vs. a true existence.

Lastly, From IF to When has a post about fighting the good fight.  It goes through how infertility has changed her, has turned her into a person who feels the need to fight back.  This line took my breath away: “Sticks and stones never hurt my bones. Words did, a little. But taking away my womanhood ruined me.”  The comments (especially amiracle4us) are worth reading too.

The roundup to the Roundup: More to say when I get my thoughts straightened out, but until then, cogitate on Lear’s “The Jumblies.”  Answer ComOnNaPro.  And lots of good posts to read.


1 a { 04.08.11 at 1:59 pm }

I’m guessing this story will be unlike most others…

My best friend was always a social butterfly. So, waaay back in 1985, even before the advent of the internet, she and her brother would play computer games and chat on bulletin boards about the games. Through this, she and I met a group of guys with whom we are still friendly – if only through FB (kind of apt, actually). It was really my first (and last) internet dating experience, as I dated one of the guys for several months (which is a long term relationship in high school). It cracks me up to think of the way we met any time I hear from them!

2 a { 04.08.11 at 2:04 pm }

Also, I hope your thoughts settle down and become more orderly! (I am picturing your thoughts as unruly school children right now)

3 HereWeGoAJen { 04.08.11 at 2:16 pm }

You always find good posts to read.

4 Sharon { 04.08.11 at 2:41 pm }

Blogging has allowed me to make several friends over the years. One of my fellow bloggers happens to live 10 minutes from me, and we have met for lunch a few time and have plans to meet again soon and introduce our husbands. And in an interesting twist, there is a distinct possibility that they will soon be doing a DE cycle at the same (out-of-state) clinic where we are preparing to cycle in late May/early June.

It’s early days yet, but I can see this blossoming into friendship in real life vs. just friendship online. 🙂

5 Katie { 04.08.11 at 4:08 pm }

I have a small handful of very special friendships that have spawned from the Internet; ironically, none of the connections were made via blogging, but all were made because of our journeys with infertility. A few of the women are mothers now, but I still keep in touch with each of them via e-mail (and one in person). I would venture to say that the relationships I’ve created with these women are stronger than some of my “real-life” friendships.

And thank you for mentioning my post. It honestly felt like word vomit to me in the moment. But you deserve credit for encouraging that vomit. So thank you. 🙂

6 Kristin { 04.08.11 at 4:08 pm }

I just wrote about friendships that sprouted from the internet in yesterday’s posy.

7 Merry { 04.08.11 at 4:15 pm }

Almost my entire friendship circle is from the net. We met on Yahoo groups with home educating as a common purpose. We have grown to know and love each other in real life over 10 years. Our children are like cousins, we’ve attended the births and funerals of each others children, we’ve held each other up and together online and in each others homes. They came to my house to keep my girls in one piece last year, we’ve holidayed together more times than I can remember. I serious tell them things before I would think to tell my family, sister excepted. They are like sisters. I sincerely hope we will show off our grandchildren to each other.

8 Rebecca { 04.08.11 at 4:25 pm }

Oh dear Reader, I married him.

(Re a friendship from the internet)

9 Sharon { 04.08.11 at 4:49 pm }

Oh, Rebecca’s post reminded me–I met my husband online via a popular dating site. So there’s another “friendship” from the internet. 😉

10 Lori Lavender Luz { 04.08.11 at 5:49 pm }

Thank you, Mel.

I’m eager to hear your thoughts after you work out the Jumblies. I like that poem — new to me!

As for a friendship that began on the Internet…hmmm….whom could it be….?

11 Baby Smiling In Back Seat { 04.08.11 at 8:10 pm }

On the aging parents point, it’s not all about age. DH’s grandmother gave birth to his mother at age 40, and now over 60 years later they’re both alive.

My mother gave birth to me in her late 20s, and now 35 years later she is gone, after several years of dementia and heart problems.

Of course being older increases the likelihood that your children won’t have as long with you, but there’s so much randomness that it doesn’t seem helpful to fret about it. Not that either of us had a choice about the age at which we gave birth.

12 Just Me { 04.08.11 at 8:35 pm }

About twelve years ago, my roommate and I were looking to fill a third room in our apartment. (This isn’t the point of my story, but I just realized we advertised online for it…) We filled it with a “random” roommate from a roommate site. The “random” and I ended up living together for over four years!

After I bought my own place and moved out, and then we both got married and she had a baby, we lost touch a bit. We still corresponded from time to time and followed each other on facebook, but we had definitely drifted apart.

About two years ago she sent me an email- she had found my (anonymous) blog. She had been struggling with secondary infertility and had several miscarriages. Like many of us, she turned to the internet and the enormous IF community that has grown here. From this page to that page she found herself reading a new blog… and as she continued to read, she realized it was mine.

She is my only “real life” friend who knows of the blog. (That I know of. ) But her discovery not only led to a reconnection between us, but gave each of us a “real life” friend with whom to share our infertility and loss struggles.

So not only did the internet trigger our reconnection, but this heartbreaking, frustrating journey we call infertility brought us something good- our revived and strengthened friendship.

13 MommyOdyssey { 04.09.11 at 8:25 pm }

I married a man I med on facebook. And we happily married. Through my blog I’ve made 3-4 friends that I haven’t met yet due to distance, but we speak on the phone and are planning on visiting each other. I Consider them my friends just as much as any of my “real life” friends. Sometimes, even more, because when it comes to my own journey, they understand me better.

14 TasIVFer { 04.12.11 at 2:34 am }

I have loads of friends I’ve met through the internet in various ways. *Real* friends. Many I’ve never met, some I have. Last July one of the friends who lives in my computer was having a really hard time. So I spontaneously flew out to see her and another friend and the three of us had agreat time. It didn’t make what she was going through better, but it helped distract her for a few days! My friends who live in my computer are often my closest friends. I have a group of friends on twitter who I share my day with more than anyone else. And of course people who read my infertility blog know more about my emotional life and hopes, dreams & fears than anyone else.

Really, these days the internet is just anther place people meet rather than an odd thing.

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