As Lovable as a Nutella-coated iPad
Avoiding real emotion by discussing lighter topics. Puppies!
In addition to stress-reading Harry Potter, my go-to stress food is nutella. It’s something that just tastes good. That has dubious nutritional value despite the fact that the label tells you that orange juice, nutella on wheat bread, and a glass of skim milk makes a healthy breakfast. When I eat it, I am instantly back in my great-uncle’s kitchen.
When I tweeted about eating nutella, it immediately got dozens of people emailing and tweeting and facebooking about nutella. When I write about half-sour pickles, a few people half-heartedly jump into the conversation. People may like pickles, but it doesn’t mean enough to them to let me know. When I tweet about nutella, there is a collective orgasm across the blogosphere.
The same thing happens when I write that I want an iPad. Those words make people who don’t own one start twitching uncontrollably, panting about how they want it too (seriously, being so close to them yesterday almost caused me to faint). The word “iPad” makes those who do own one already roll around in the words in ecstasy.
Write about a netbook and you’ll have a few people shrug their shoulders and say, “yeah, I like mine.” Write about an iPad and you’ll have people shriek: I LOVE IT SO FUCKING MUCH THAT I RENAMED MYSELF IPAD LOVER SMITH. I LOVE IPADS I LOVE IPADS I LOVE (and then the words mysteriously stop because the writer faints away cold to the floor).
Puppies. Kittens in adorable positions. But not turtles. Write about your turtle or post a picture and you’ll get a shrug. Write about your bird and you’ll probably get people to unsubscribe to your Twitter feed or blog. Write about your puppy and people literally lose control of their bladders as they leap towards the keyboard to shout out a resound, “me too!” or “he is soooooooooo cute!”
I am trying to think up more things that people just love to love. And yes, I’m well aware that one of my favourite people in the world can never eat nutella and therefore probably doesn’t have strong feelings about it. And there are people like my great-aunt who probably doesn’t spend a lot of time thinking about the iPad. And there are people like me who just don’t have strong feelings about puppies or kittens.
But I’m going for the average person: certain topics elicit gushing for some reason, and other, similar topics elicit shruggy “me toos.”
Muppets. Everyone loves the Muppets. Bring up the Muppets and people start singing “Rainbow Connection” or talking like Fozzie Bear. Where the Wild Things Are (the book; not the movie). Reading on the beach.
What else would you add to this list?
31 comments
Twilight and Justin Bieber for the younger crowd.
Disney
Babies
Chocolate
Jewelry – shiny things
First of all, I’d be dead if I ate Nutella (I used to sneak it in college in small doses and paid EVERY time.)
Now me:
Joe Mauer for the Minnesota folks.
Strip House Chocolate Cake
Seatbelt Purses
Diamonds
Excellent call on the diamonds!
Also – weddings and engagements (especially surprise engagements).
Old ladies saying inappropriate things.
Big huge bouquets of roses.
Babies (although this can be a tricky one with infertiles)
Diamonds
Happy older couples
Chocolate
I’d add Sesame Street to the Muppets. Everyone seems to have a favorite Sesame Street moment/song/character from their childhood.
Paul McCartney
Patrick Dempsey
Cats & Kittens
Betty White
“Clueless” – which as on TV last night and made me giddy
Television: usually reality shows
Scandal…scandal is always important
Romantic stuff…
Everyone has said most of mine but I’d have to add the old Saturday Morning Cartoons – the Justice League & oh, what was the catch phrase of the twins who’d change shape? That’s gonna drive me nuts! I have to go google that! LOL!
I may be the odd one out but I was never really a fan of nutella. My preference was peanut butter and marshmallow fluff sandwiches. MMMMMMM
Chocolate – more specifically mint chocolate chip ice cream or anything to do with peanut butter and chocolate.
… Am I strange that I’ve never had Nutella? I actually own a jar of it … it’s sitting in my pantry, unopened. I don’t know why I bought it, but I never knew how to eat it or what to spread it on, so there it sits.
… now that I read what I just wrote I realize that I probably *am* a bit strange.
Alright, so I just had to tell you, I went to the pantry and I got out my unopened jar of Nutella and took a big spoonful of it. That stuff is heavenly! It tastes like the inside of one of those Ferrero Rocher candies!!!! which are my favorite things in the entire world.
I’m in trouble. Big, big trouble.
Just thought you should know.
@Tara, it was the Wonder Twins “Wonder Twin Power…Activate! Shape of a Lizard, Form of a Tornado!”
I have an awesome cake recipe that involves chocolate wafer cookies, nutella, and whipped cream. I might have to make that, as I don’t believe it involves baking. (I am currently completely opposed to turning on my oven unless the high temperature for the day is below 80 degrees).
Anyway:
Chocolate chip cookies
Tiramisu (yuck)
Pizza
Awards shows/red carpet appearances
I didn’t even know nutella existed until I was 26. I am serious. For the list?
How hot it is
How cold it is
Amazing vacation stories
Ignorant people
Crappy jobs
chocolate
wine
jewelry
teddy bears or stuffed animals in general
babies
baby animals
McDreamy or McSteamy
Edward or Jacob
anything Mac related (iPad, iPhone, iPod, Macbook)
flowers
weddings
purses
SHOES!
Skittles (though not me; I seem to be the only person in the free world who isn’t a fan)
@Tara: or in Spanish (the only way I heard it growing up): “poderes de los Gemelos Fantasticos… Activense!”
Mmm, Nutella. On hot sourdough toast.
If you like nutella, try just regular chocolate on good bread. Delicious.
for my fellow Canadians…
hockey
maple syrup
mosquitos
(and I’m totally lmao of IF Crossroads! Big trouble indeed)
On the Nutella front, I am neither friend nor foe. The taste is interesting, but I find it to be entirely too rich. I’m not a fan of fudge either, for the same reason. Too rich.
My list:
Emerald Isle, NC
the library
the smell of old paperbacks
Disney World
traveling – anywhere, anytime
Google Reader
Maui
short bursts of rain when the sun is out
There’s also a lot of music like this, depending on your generation. For example, when the Grease medley comes on at an event like a wedding or party, there is sooo much squealing by women and girls.
For people my age, play Ice Ice Baby or Bust a Move and you will have a friend for life.
The #1 thing that gets the reaction you describe in this house: The Wire.
Chocolate and raspberry
strawberries and champagne
Oooh, I’m so happy to be a guest of honor. Teehee!
I’ve learned that it’s much more engaging to tweet about Princess Bride quotes than about Schindler’s List quotes. People LOVE to quote Princess Bride.
Red wine
Next on the list are things that makes us IF-girls squeel in the complete opposite way, but gets the rest of the world going ape-sheet:
Pregnancy announcements
First baby photos
IF crossroads: – Put. down. the. spoon. now.
Nutella is the devil 🙂
People love to love cupcakes. I never have as many comments on my blog than I have pictures of cupcakes.
And for a reason I don’t understand, people react to my fridge and billboard. They love the chaos on them.
But puppies and kittens ? Definitely.
Snoopy
Christmas ornaments
Snoopy Christmas ornaments – sweet Jesus, yes!
I had to go with things that I notice people react to:
Puppies/kittens/horses
Toyota Prius
My horse ringtone
People magazine
Babies
Tim Tam cookies from Australia
Ahhh Nutella…
Try it in whipped cream…
Cupcakes
S’mores
Sparklers (or maybe that’s just me)
Hot butterscotch
Tim Tams are not cookies. That’s, like, an oxymoron or something. Tim Tams are biscuits.
Which I say because… I can’t think of anything much to add… maybe period pain medication if recent conversations are anything to go by, but that might have been specific to the context.
Bea
Hummm…Nutella, I live in Asia and it is a substitute for peanut butter here.
OMG. That is a completely funny bit of writing. And I’m not just sayin it because you are talking about Nutella, puppies and Muppets. Thanks for making me smile!
Aaaah…nutella…I was stationed overseas I discovered it there…then I saw we have it in the US…;)