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276th Friday Blog Roundup

I’m well aware that this is going to make me sound like those kids at the end of the Blair Witch Project (at least the one who stands in the corner of the room facing the wall), but when we finally went out of the house after 8 days of being inside due to the snow, I couldn’t handle it.  Everything outside felt too bright.  Too loud.  I literally couldn’t tune out the background noise at the food store.  Being dropped back into daily life was like being at a carnival.  With no clothes.  Or skin.

I cringed all the way through that first trip out, my stomach in knots.  How had this happened?  8 days in a house ruined me.

We’re finally settling back into life; into pushing my cart through the food store without wondering why there are so many people in my town and why they all need to talk so loudly.  And wear such brightly coloured clothes.  And move so quickly.


Believe it or not, it’s that time of the month again.  No, not that one.  Well, yes, that one, but also it’s time for February’s IComLeavWe.  The list closes on Sunday if you want to join along this month.


I not only could never go on Iron Chef because there is a fairly strong possibility that I wouldn’t eat the secret ingredient (much less all other ingredients), but I don’t actually taste many of the things I cook in my own kitchen.  Anything non-vegetarian is understandable–I make chicken weekly, though I obviously don’t eat chicken.  But I also won’t try a large subsection of things I like to make including pie.  Love to make it, can’t imagine eating it.

Lindsay called me the Mozart of cooking this week.  Which just amused me to no end.


For awhile there, I was rocking StumbleUpon.  A lot of stuff I stumbled would get between 40–175 views.  Which was cool because it meant new eyes on your writing.  And then it seemed to stop working.  The stuff I stumbled the last few days only got a few views if any at all.  Very strange.  Come back, dear SU, come back.

This is not to say I’m defeated in letting you know my favourites.  This has only up’ed the challenge.

On a side note, I find it a bit annoying that Stumble will not tell you who stumbled you when you see traffic coming from the site.  And while this isn’t of utmost importance, I’ve been trying to tell people when possible that I’ve stumbled a post so they don’t have to wonder.  Which makes for an awkward comment.  But…I’m not really sure what else to do.  If you follow me on StumbleUpon, you should be able to see by going through my favourites if I’m the one who stumbled you.

The other thing is that you do not seem to be notified when someone subscribes to your favourites.  Therefore, if you subscribed to me and I’m not following you back, please let me know because I would like to read what you like too.  In fact, if you are on StumbleUpon, please add a link to your profile in the comment section below so other people can find you too.  Mine is here.


The Weekly What If: what if you had to lose either your photographs or your blog/journal–either the visual or the written documentation of your memories–which one would you choose?  There are no work-arounds where you could photograph each post from your blog and then save the photographs.  It boils down to the fact that you would either lose your images or lose your words.


Have you seen this ad campaign?  Without any gore, they manage to convey the need for a seat belt (that PSA of the teenagers texting and driving and being killed in the car couldn’t get out of my mind for weeks–it literally made me feel sick hence why I’m not linking to it and subjecting you to it in case you thankfully missed it).  Perhaps it is the fact that I am hormonal, but I bawled watching this.


And now, the blogs…

For its honesty, I love IF Crossroad’s post about the funk that can come when you are pregnant after infertility.  While obviously appreciative that IVF worked, she discovers it was a cure for childlessness–not for infertility itself–and she is still carrying the feelings she had during infertility into this new leg of the journey.  She writes, “I want to be that girl I always thought I’d be once I got my BFP. I’m somebody completely different altogether and I don’t recognize this person.”  My only advice is to not deny how you feel, not sweep it under the rug, but instead confront it and move through it because there does not seem to be a route around it or over it.

Life from Here has a gorgeous post about helping her neighbour through labour.  It is about someone seeing the bigger picture, of a neighbour who is large-minded enough to know that Luna would be the perfect person for the job due to experience and empathy.  I loved that not only was she asked, but that she found it in herself to cross the street and help her neighbour when she needed her most.

Mrs. Spock has a post about buying a car and all the extra thoughts that come into play when you’re infertile.  It is the internal conversation between the optimist, the pessimist and the realist–one who doesn’t want to have to remake the choice down the road because it’s a pricey choice to make, but is frozen by the inability to even remotely predict the future at all.

Making Me Mom has a post about all the unconventional things we try to boost the chance of success on a given cycle.  I think she asks an excellent question: “How much are all of these ‘solutions’ playing on my fears? Fears that these are our last attempts at a biological child….and we’re paying a lot of money….so what if it doesn’t work? Of course I want to do anything it takes to improve our chances of success, but where is that line?”  Don’t forget to read through the comments too and jump in with your own.

Lastly, Trying Not to Scream has a post about when she stepped over the line from trying-to-conceive to infertile, explaining that it is just as much a state of mind as it is a diagnosis.  In fact, her transition wasn’t until a few months after discovering a problem.  It’s an interesting debate and while I’m sure there are people who would answer “after two months of trying,” I also wonder if there are those who could say they were in the TTC state well past the point where they were diagnosed with infertility.

The roundup to the Roundup: apparently, 8 days inside has ruined me.  IComLeavWe for this month kicks off on Sunday.  Lindsay says I’m the Mozart of cooking.  Adventures in StumbleUpon (and tell me if you’re on and I’m not subscribed to you).  Answer the Weekly What If (words or images?).  Greatest PSA I’ve seen this week.  And lots of great posts to read.


1 susy { 02.19.10 at 9:05 am }

As for my blog, I think I’d not want to lose the writing. When I read what I wrote in the past, it takes me back and I feel “there” again. I LOVE PHOTOGRAPHS, but w/ blogs, I love to read and know and be “there” w/ not only me, but y’all too!

I don’t have SU, nor have I even been on their site. Am I late? I’ve seen it here and there, but just haven’t been to it.

Off to read some posts!

2 jill { 02.19.10 at 9:14 am }

Wow that commercial was powerful! I have never seen it before. I always wear my seatbelt anyway, but I’ll be thinking of it for the next few times I click, I’m sure.

People who regularly don’t wear their seatbelts really annoy me, especially when I have to ride in the car with them. I always feel like I shouldn’t tell them what to do though.

3 jill { 02.19.10 at 9:15 am }

Oh I forgot to add – I would definitely keep the photos instead of the words.

4 Lavender Luz { 02.19.10 at 10:06 am }

Keep the writing. It’s harder to recreate in my head than the images.

My StumbleUpon link is

Powerful video. Really amazing vision in putting that together.

*whispering, by the way*

5 a { 02.19.10 at 10:25 am }

I’d keep the pictures, because my brain operates on words rather than images. I can come up with new (or probably the same) words to describe the memory.

Blizzards are a weird state – the world goes quiet because there are fewer cars driving and no people out and about. When people return, and the sun comes out (or the clouds lift), the world is brighter and louder. It’s just odd that it takes us so little time to adjust to a quieter atmosphere.

6 Kate (Bee In The Bonnet) { 02.19.10 at 10:54 am }

I literally got a little sick to my stomach when I read your weekly what-if. I cannot imagine life without either. I am a “word” person, through and through, but I am also a visual artist, a photographer, and I could not imagine my life without either thing. I would be devastated if I woke up one morning and my photo archives had disappeared (er, I guess it’s time to do a little more work on backing up those files, then, isn’t it?). And I would be equally as devastated if my blog and my past written journals suddenly evaporated.

I mean, I guess I could always retell my story, since words come pretty easily. But knowing how upsetting it is to me to leave a long, well-thought-out comment on a blog, only to have Blogger eat it makes me think it would be upsetting to retell it.

A photo lost, though, is lost forever. You cannot recreate that moment, that lighting, that arrangement, that feeling of time being stopped (at least not with the kind of photography I favor…). The clouds will never be aligned that way, the sun will never be tinging the sky that way, ever, ever again.

So I guess if it was losing my life or making a choice between those two, I’d choose to lose my words, because even though I may not be able to retell something so precisely, there’s something to be said for the editing process and taking a fresh look at the story you just told. (Now that I’m thinking of it, one of the writing exercises we used to do in my writing class was to write a draft of a story and then “lose” it and rewrite it again, to see what a elements of the story were truly the most memorable, the most worthy of inclusion a second time around. It was like editing but without a draft to edit from– weird and uncomfortable sometimes. 90% of the time, I preferred my first draft, but on occasion there were one or two really excellent little gems that came from abandoning whatever track I was originally on and setting out on a new one. )

7 queenie { 02.19.10 at 11:00 am }

I’m completely baffled by the not eating pie thing. Really? No pie at all? Not pecan? Not chocolate cream? Not bumbleberry?

I’d have to keep the words. I don’t post pictures much, and my memory is terrible, so without the written posts, I would lose all of the little moments I use my blog to memorialize.

8 Kristin { 02.19.10 at 11:13 am }

Wow, that commercial/PSA was incredible. It gave me the chills.

Before I read the comments, I thought I would say I’d keep the pictures but now I would say I would keep the words. Pictures can be found from other sources. They may not be mine but they would still document important moments. No one else can reproduce my words.

9 Caitlin { 02.19.10 at 11:14 am }

I have to admit that a couple years ago I threw away my old journals. I’m talking the writings from my youth, where I described all of my crushes and slumber parties with the girls. How so-and-so kissed this boy on lunch and my two besties got into a knock-down, drag-out fight. I can’t really say why I threw them out…I was skimming through one day and felt uneasy about it all. Going back and re-living those times in school where I cried because my jr high boyfriend cheated on me, or fought with my friend over something stupid. I had forgotten those times already, and decided I didn’t want to go back. So out they went.

With that being said, I would rather keep the photographs. Something about looking back at old photos makes me feel warm and good inside. It’s like I can only remember those good times, and the bad ones are long gone. We don’t take pictures of all the awful times in our lives, right? I wouldn’t want to keep my blog and recount all of those damn BFN’s I got and lose the precious celebratory moments of my Grandparent’s 50th Anniversary. Or ever forget how different my mom looks as she ages. That stuff you can’t ever get back…it lives forever in a picture.

10 Calliope { 02.19.10 at 11:33 am }

oh man. I don’t know!!
I actually lost well over a thousand photos last year when my laptop died beyond recovery and I hadn’t backed them up. A computer guy was able to log in once and he basically said, “I can save 1 thing. Name it.” And in the 5 minutes that he was able to dig through the ruins of my laptop he was able to save the photos of the first three weeks of W’s life. Included in that collection were many photos of my GM meeting W. I physically hurt at the idea of those photos being gone again. So I guess I would keep the photos and set the words free.
But I would weep for years.

And seriously- the snow, and the brightness of it and the sun bouncing off of it has created some of the worst headaches of my life. I would so not be a good snow bunny.

Also- where is the next he said/she said???

11 luna { 02.19.10 at 11:59 am }

many thanks for the link, mel. will have to check out your stumble. and that is an amazing video!

12 Rebecca { 02.19.10 at 12:52 pm }

That video is incredible. Especially because I was truly afraid they were just going to show him flying out of his seat and it made me cry with joy when they showed his family hugging him into place.

I’ve only just started blogging, so it’s hard for me to say. I think the pictures would be hard but I can still see them in my head. When I finally manage to phrase something the way I wanted to, though, I want to read it over and over again. So, I think the words might be the hardest.

And, thank you so much for linking to my blog!

13 Meim { 02.19.10 at 12:55 pm }

I bawled at the PSA, too. Very nicely done.

14 Chickenpig { 02.19.10 at 1:57 pm }

I have blogged so little that that is an easy choice. I couldn’t possibly give up all the baby pictures, no way no how. Blogging is just getting words out of my head. I always have more where they came from. My kids will never be babies again, and try as I might, I can’t remember a lot of the twins’ babyhood w/o pictures.

Wow! That PSA made me teary eyed, and I’m not hormonal at all. That is one well done commercial.

I felt exactly the way you described in the weeks after the twins were born. (They were born Nov 29). We were stuck inside for so long, when I finally got out of the house briefly I felt brittle. It felt like if someone touched me I would just break apart, everything was so loud and bright. Most of that was the hormones though. I hope you feel better soon.

15 Wishing4One { 02.19.10 at 2:34 pm }

Powerful commercial. It seems its from the UK, are they showing this on television in the US? If not they should, it speaks a million words.

I think I would keep my words, I think. What a “what if” Mel, boy oh boy.

Photos capture moments, sure they may be recreated, but not all as circumstances change. I think about when i deliver my baby(ies) what if those photos were gone after all we’ve went through to finally get them, that would be heart wretching. The photos of family who are no longer with us, that would hurt to lose them too.

Words, writings, thoughts are hard to recreat as well. I only journal online, if you can even call it that, my blog, but that would suck to lose too.

Sorry I just don’t know which I’d choose and I am glad its a hypothetical, cause it would be tough, but if it were a must at this moment, I’d say my writings.

Funny thing, I recently shredded some old photos that I had stored at my Dad’s house when I was back in the U.S. I told my friend about it and she just about died! She could not imagine getting rid of any photos, period, ever. For me it was like a release, holding onto bad memories of not so good people, why?

Happy Friday and yeah for getting back out into the world.

16 Baby Smiling In Back Seat { 02.20.10 at 1:09 am }

I’d keep the images. I can remember most of the thoughts behind the words, but photos are harder to remember and much harder to convey to others.

I make several fabulous cheesecakes that I wouldn’t ever eat — just not very often anymore, as in a couple of times in the past decade, for specific occasions like someone’s birthday. Too many things that I make that I also enjoy eating.

17 mrs spock { 02.20.10 at 8:41 am }

Thanks for the round-up shout out!

That is a very, very difficult question. In the end, the thought of losing my son’s newborn pictures would be worse. I can always rewrite my memories- but never recapture those photographs.

18 S.I.F. { 02.21.10 at 3:57 am }

There is no doubt in my mind that I would keep the words and lose the photos. The words are my soul… the pictures just add some effect on the rare occasions I remember to throw them in!

And I’m on stumbled upon, sif8. I still can’t figure out how to see other people’s profiles or make friends though… Makes me feel kind of dumb!

19 IF Crossroads { 02.23.10 at 8:00 pm }

I watched that PSA – wow, all I can say is wow.

Thank you so much for the mention in the blog roundup. That post has brought me much comfort and support. Thank you for all you do!

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