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You Say You Want a Resolution

Last year, my resolution was to “tell people how much they mean to me as often as possible. I am going to tell the people I love that I love them every chance I get and I am going to make sure that people hear me (or…I guess read…) describe why I think they are wonderful.”

And I mostly succeeded in the sense that I am a fairly effusive person and I tell people I love them.  But I didn’t do it in a conscious way.  I didn’t give myself a goal each week, seeking out a person in my life who may not know how deeply I care for them and let them know.  I sort of just went about it haphazardly and at the end of the year, there are a handful of people who already knew that I love them who heard it a lot more over the last 365 days.  So….er…maybe more a failure than a success?

I think the key to keeping a resolution is to create one that is very specific.  “Losing weight” isn’t good enough.  You’re not saying how you’ll do it and without an actual plan, people rarely follow through on the goal.  What I should have done last year was create a spreadsheet of dates and spend every Monday reaching out to one person and then marking it down on the spreadsheet so I could spread out the love to 52 people.

And yes, describing it like that sounds all kinds of weird and stalkerish and perhaps had I actually come up with a plan, I would have realized that my year of love wasn’t a good resolution.

This year, I tested my resolution for a few weeks prior to January 1st to make sure it was feasible.  My goal is to do at least 20 minutes of aerobics a day with the Wii for at least 300 days this year.  It’s realistic because I gave myself 65 days to slack off and still meet the resolution (I like to call them my Period Points because I am not dragging my ass to that machine while I’m bleeding).

Obviously, I’m doing it because I want to lose weight, but I’ll still consider myself a success if I hit my goal and I haven’t lost a pound (oh for the love of G-d, please don’t let me do all this work and not lose a pound).  I started a new blog called The Shrinking Ass where I will be posting my daily workout, how many calories I burned, and how long I exercised as well as more bloggy-like posts a few times a week about my progress.

And this post is to challenge you to publicly state your resolution and how you’re going to accomplish this in your own blog post.  Let us hold you accountable just as I hope you hold me accountable.

Think small: even break up infertility into the three points on the triangle and focus only on one.  For financial, your resolution could be to not obsess about money once the check has been written.  To reframe how you feel about the money spent and create a meditative ritual to let go of the frustration of spending thousands of dollars.

For the emotional side, make a resolution to write out exactly how you feel for five minutes every day.  Every single post may look exactly the same, but that isn’t the point.  I mean, every single bowl of cereal I eat looks exactly the same and yet I still chow down another one daily even though I had the exact same thing the day before.  The point is to set a timer and pound out that entry in five minutes; disjointed words, angry expletives, or deep sadness.  You could just write the word “fuck” as many times as possible for five minutes and while it may not be the most helpful exercise for a single sitting, you may find that it helps to carve out that space every single day where you can yell it out for five minutes and five minutes only.

And for the physical, it’s sort of obvious.  Use your body to great success for something other than family building.  You choose the activity–anything from insane amounts of non-babymaking sex to winning every activity on the Wii Fit (er…now it seems like I once again chose an un-fun resolution).

So, go and write down your own resolution in a post or Twitter it and return and post a link to that post using the widget below (use the permalink for the post, not the main url for your blog.  In turn, use the permalink for the Tweet, not your main Twitter url, if you go that route).  It doesn’t have to be a long post; it can be one paragraph.  It can even be a Tweet if you can say your resolution in 140 characters.  But if you post it, we’ll all hold you to it.  And I hope you kick my large ass if I stop doing my workouts.

I’ll pick some of the resolutions below to feature on my BlogHer post this week.

Oh–and if you are doing a fitness one and you start a new blog like The Shrinking Ass to chart your progress, let me know and I’ll add you to the blogroll over there.

Happy almost New Year!


1 Sarah { 12.28.09 at 1:08 am }

Great post Mel. I’ve added a link to mine. I’m not waiting to 2010 to carry out my resolution, because the more I think about the idea of doing a marathon the more I realise training and weight loss needs to start NOW.

2 Kate (Busted Plumbing) { 12.28.09 at 2:38 am }

Great suggestions. I’d like to lose 30 lbs by my 30th birthday, I’ll take your lead in breaking it down. I got the new Wii Fit for Xmas, so I’ll be joining you there too!

3 Valery Val { 12.28.09 at 6:49 am }

Thanks for the suggestion of doing something with feelings as a resolution. Not sure how to specify ‘feel my anger’ or ’embrace sadness’ or slay the green eyed monster or blush my shame away… I’ll start with the ‘5 minutes at the time’ suggestion.

4 Christa { 12.28.09 at 7:34 am }

Excellent post! I have added a link to my blog. I decided to complete one Random Act of Kindness each week for a year and I actually look forward to doing it!

5 Half of a Duo, Raising a Duo { 12.28.09 at 1:39 pm }

My resolution for the new year is two-fold.

First, every corner of the globe EXCEPT Antarctica has visited my blog. I’d love to see a dot on my Feedjit map from there. That would be very cool. Even people on boats in the middle of the sea have visited… no lie. So I’d be thrilled if someone from the land of polar bears, penguins, and barren (like me) frozenness would swing by.

My second resolution. It is my life’s work actually. To be the best mom I can be to the Duo. There is simply no other need upon my heart other than to teach THEM to be kind, loving, generous, have faith, the same as their mama and babbas. We learn what we live so therefore, striving everyday and being mindful of how incredible the power of parenting has over children is a priority for me (and the DH).

Hugs and happy new year to all… can’t believe it.

Will be having a guest blogger this week. She is a gestational surrogate who has carried twins twice. Thank god for her, because, I pray she will write about what it is like to carry and deliver twins. I never got any of that from my surro other than “it was a piece of cake”. So, it will be awesome to read her words and hear her take on carrying her IFs (intended fathers) twins and delivering them. I shoulda asked her to explain to me sooner but God works in mysterious ways.

I am sure that those of us who have not carried nor delivered a child will be gratified by her words and descriptions and moved by her dedication to the fathers of her two sets of Duos.

6 C h i r l e e n { 12.28.09 at 2:34 pm }

Ahhh … resolutions. Well, mine are the obvious. Stop smoking, lose weight and appreciate my life more. How I am going to do all that – who knows!!

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to become a part of ICLW!! I just finished going through the ENTIRE list and leaving a comment for each one!! I’ve run across some great bloggers that I plan to continue reading! Happy New Year!

7 Liddy { 12.28.09 at 3:35 pm }

Great post Mel!

I have decided that I want to get back in to better shape, than the ‘good’ shape that I am currently in. I am going to be starting a blog called ‘My Bad Ass Speedskating Thighs’ (http://kickingmyass.wordpress.com/) . I am hoping that this will be like the training logs I used to have to do when I was a competitive skier in high school.

8 Lavender Luz { 12.28.09 at 4:24 pm }

My perspective about your resolution last year is that you oozed love outward all. the. time. In all directions.

And I would call that a HUGE success.

9 Eve { 12.28.09 at 7:36 pm }

Can I repeat what Lavender Luz just said? Much agreed!

AFM, I’m aiming to be ASSERTIVE in getting the support that I need as I go through the rest of this very high risk pregnancy and taking care of the twins…and not to let friendships slip lazily through my fingers!

10 Heather { 12.28.09 at 9:24 pm }

I’m horrible at sending out cards PRIOR to actual events. I’m always late. So, I’m going to try and get my act together.

11 Becky { 12.28.09 at 9:41 pm }

I think I just might copy your resolution to dedicate 300 days to the Wii Fit! I have been trying to get on there more often and not just to do the balance nonsense that isn’t a real workout at all. I got Wii Fit Plus for Christmas, only 30 bucks at Walmart and I intend to use it!

12 Battynurse { 12.28.09 at 11:51 pm }

I like the name of the new blog and the idea for Wii fit sounds great. Good luck I hope this is a very attainable resolution for you. I know I need to do something but I haven’t decided what yet.

13 lynn @ human, being { 12.29.09 at 12:00 am }

Posted my non-resolutions over on my blog. And go Wii Fit!

14 Megan { 12.29.09 at 10:02 am }

I’m so with you. I hate being unoriginal, but I need to finally lose the multiple miscarriage–IF depression–pregnancy/bedrest–etc etc excuses for not eating better and exercising. It’s time for a fresh start.

15 Jenny { 12.29.09 at 12:43 pm }

The only resolution I have is to lose about 20 more lbs. 🙂

16 Jamie { 12.30.09 at 10:52 pm }

For all the resolutions I’ve made and completely forgotten about by February, each year January feels like a fresh start. I wish every month felt this way.

I’ve got so many ideas about how I can be happier in this body and live a happier life in general. This is a great post – I’m going to start working on specifics to make it happen!

17 Erika { 01.02.10 at 12:36 am }

My resolutions are up… for the first. time. EVER! I haven’t done this since I was little! I’m excited to see how it all goes. Thanks for all of your motivation!

18 Bea { 01.02.10 at 5:27 pm }

I think last year’s was a great resolution for you, and that organising it better would have been weird, and kind of self-defeating in some ways. Or just weird. In any case, new year, moving on.

I think you’ve set a great resolution again, because it is so measurable and achievable. (Last year’s I liked more for the kind thought.)

I think I did pretty well on last year’s, which was all about decluttering and organising. I don’t yet have one for this year, and I would love to write up a post that helps me find out what this year’s should be. In the meantime, I am taking suggestions…


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