Random header image... Refresh for more!

Are You Seeing the Pattern Yet?

Remember how I forgot to pack pants?  And how I accidentally enlarged the font on my computer?

Yesterday, I was having lunch with Somewhat Ordinary, Serenity, and Lindsay and we took a picture before we had to leave.  Lindsay uploaded hers to Facebook and I commented on how terrible my boobs looked (all I could think of was how Sunny at the cookie exchange next month would be telling me once again that we needed to do something with my bra situation).

I called a friend last night and bitched about how I had bought three of these new bras and they were already terrible.  This morning, I grabbed one and decided to tighten the straps the final centimeter–as tight as it would go–and put it on.  And my boobs fell out.

And I realized that I had been loosening the straps.

Not tightening them.

A quick yank in the other direction gave me nicely perky boobs.

Reason #2067040 why you wouldn’t want me doing brain surgery on you.  Reason #2067039 is the fact that I don’t have a medical degree.  But #2067040 is my inability to properly operate a bra.


1 once a mother { 11.10.09 at 1:46 pm }

oh man Mel. Lots of laughter at this one… unfortunately, if I am being honest, the laughter is at and not with you 🙂 Thanks for sharing this candid moment, and thanks especially for not pursuing a career in brain surgery.

2 Kate (Bee In The Bonnet) { 11.10.09 at 1:52 pm }

I think that your brain is not too dissimilar to mine. I really do miss the obvious sometimes. But once I catch on, watch out!

I chalk it up to being too wrapped up in important issues to notice the details. That makes me feel better than the “wow, sometimes I am REALLY not observant…”

3 MeAndBaby { 11.10.09 at 1:59 pm }

Lol. Thanks, I need a laugh today!

4 Katie { 11.10.09 at 1:59 pm }

This sounds like something I would do! Thank you for sharing–it put a smile on my face. 🙂

5 a { 11.10.09 at 2:14 pm }

That’s how I know you must have big boobs. Because I can tell by the immediate gaping that occurs whether or not I have adjusted the strap in the correct direction.

My point is: Don’t blame it on your brain…blame it on your anatomy!

6 LJ { 11.10.09 at 2:18 pm }

That and you are short. And threaten me with walnuts. Meanie.

7 Anna { 11.10.09 at 2:23 pm }

Oh my goodness! How funny! Bras are way too complicated!

8 Jendeis { 11.10.09 at 2:23 pm }

You are awesome! Thank you.

9 Leah { 11.10.09 at 2:24 pm }

I think you are lovely. And your boobs are too. I’m looking forward to seeing them (and you) next month. 🙂

BTW, I am so jealous that Lindsay has seen so many of our bloggy friends lately!

10 HereWeGoAJen { 11.10.09 at 2:26 pm }

Nah, if you were my surgeon, you wouldn’t have to wear a bra under your scrubs. 😉

11 Somewhat Ordinary { 11.10.09 at 2:33 pm }

Ok, I totally didn’t notice that your boobs looked terrible. I guess I just wasn’t looking there.

I do this all the time because I have different bras with straps that go different ways. Oh, and I have one that magically lengthens as the day goes on. Nothing like having your boops just fall out of a bra at the office…hey, but mine are small so I doubt anyone even notices the difference!

12 Tara { 11.10.09 at 2:38 pm }

Sometimes when I tighten the straps too much my boobs fall out from UNDER the bra. It’s a no win situation for me.

13 Quiet Dreams { 11.10.09 at 2:46 pm }

Thank you for this today. 🙂

14 Tigger { 11.10.09 at 2:55 pm }

I’m with QD – thank you for this today. I’m feeling very stressed and I needed a giggle. The imagery that came to mind was just too much for me…

15 Minta { 11.10.09 at 3:30 pm }

I LOVE IT! One would think that a nice, comfortable, supportive bra built for those of us who have been pleasantly endowed wouldn’t require a PHD to operate, but in fact, no they are either insanely complicated, or your tits drag the floor. At least you got it figured out before buying a new bra!

16 Kim { 11.10.09 at 3:46 pm }

LOL! glad you got it all figured out. Don’t feel so bad. I once wore a pair of pants backwards for months. The were dress pants and from the fit I thought the zipper was supposed to be in the back. it wasn’t until a friend borrowed them and I saw her with the zipper in the front that I realized that I was a dumb ass.

17 Bea { 11.10.09 at 3:54 pm }

I like where you’ve prioritised having a medical degree on that list. Presumably having post-grad training and experience specifically in brain surgery is even further down than the bra. 🙂


18 Melissa G. { 11.10.09 at 4:08 pm }

Ha! Great post. Definitely made me smile, thank you for that.

Btw, next time you’re in the market: Le Mystere is hands down the best bra I have ever worn. They’re not cheap, but they are FANTASTIC.

19 Kristin { 11.10.09 at 4:21 pm }

Hehehehe, thanks for the laugh!

20 JC { 11.10.09 at 6:25 pm }

LOL thanks for the laugh! =)

21 Lavender Luz { 11.10.09 at 6:44 pm }

And still you are a healing force.

A FUNNY healing force.

22 Calliope { 11.10.09 at 7:16 pm }

ha! When I am wearing a proper fitting bra I feel like a total glam gal. It can literally change my day. And my gals need all the support they can get!

23 Angie { 11.10.09 at 7:47 pm }

HA. Oh, I needed a laugh, especially a boob related one.

24 Erica { 11.10.09 at 8:05 pm }


25 IF Crossroads { 11.10.09 at 8:12 pm }

Hysterical … and made me smile 🙂

26 Rebecca { 11.10.09 at 8:52 pm }

Would it make you feel totally weirded out to know that I am sitting here visualizing you and your boobs doing the dance of death with that bra? LOL Not in a gross stalker kind of way, but in a totally non-lesbian I so know where you are coming from kind of way. I swear that if I had been born just a few decades earlier I would have been one of the first to burn my damn bras…horrible torturous devices of the devil! Although, by now I’d have boobs that hung down to my knees…maybe that’s not such a good visual to give everyone at dinner time. Okay, enough ta-ta talk for me for one night…glad you got the boobie holder situation all tightened up! 🙂

27 melody { 11.10.09 at 9:33 pm }

hhahaha, I needed, needed that laugh today, hahahahhahha

28 Battynurse { 11.10.09 at 9:38 pm }

Glad you finally got your bra figured out. I hear you though, those things are just down right complicated. Torture devices if you ask me.

29 deathstar { 11.10.09 at 10:45 pm }

Please do not attempt to fasten stockings to a garter, someone could lose an eye.

30 Bleu { 11.10.09 at 11:07 pm }

Oh sweety, lol, you are too funny.

31 geohde { 11.10.09 at 11:13 pm }

Fortunately (or not, depending on how you view these things), I am fried-egg flat enough to never be at risk of anything falling out.



32 AnxiousMummy { 11.11.09 at 6:27 am }

Bras are very complex. Picture me redfaced after a skin check for moles putting mine back on and the doctor asking if I need help to do so!! Mel, I have to say I always love your honesty. You’ve brought a smile to my face 🙂

33 May { 11.11.09 at 1:53 pm }

I once gave myself a nose-bleed while putting on my bra. I was trying to adjust myself, pulled on the edge of the cup, and the slippery fabric slipped between my fingers – unfortunately I was tugging so hard my hand shot up into my face.

My husband sat there and laughed his fool head off.

34 Anna { 11.11.09 at 3:39 pm }

You are priceless 🙂 Thanks for the post and the giggles.

35 JJ { 11.11.09 at 7:46 pm }

You look FANTASTIC in that picture, BTW.

And yes, I had to giggle at you–but, I too, have pulled in the wrong direction before…too many times to count.

Im still waiting to find the perfect bra…can we do a ALI wide poll?! 🙂

36 coffeegrl { 11.24.09 at 2:51 pm }

You are hysterical!

(c) 2006 Melissa S. Ford
The contents of this website are protected by applicable copyright laws. All rights are reserved by the author