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162nd Friday Blog Roundup

Picture a swank hotel inhabited by the most gorgeous guests in the world.  A tattooed model-like man lounges shirtless in the hallway to get better cell phone reception.  Every woman is dressed in identical knee-high black boots with three-inch heels.  Even the man at the front desk is metrosexualed within an inch of his life, with stylishly tousled hair and manicured stubble.

Oh, and then there’s me, Dumpy McDumperstein, sitting in the lobby wearing clogs and cords so I can use the free Internet access.

I picked up my computer in the room and told my brother that I was going to go downstairs and sit in the lounge so I could write the Roundup.  “Like that?” he said, sort of dubiously.  He mentioned the fact that I’m not really dressed for the bar area.  That I might stick out a bit.  Except here’s the thing–even though one of these things is wholly unlike all the others, no one is looking at me.  Literally, it’s like they catch a glimpse of my Earth shoes out of the corner of their eye and they will themselves not to look at the blight on the lobby.

Feeling all kinds of classy right now.


I came up with the most brilliant idea ever while I was on the train.  When people ask me where all my ideas come from, I tell them two places–driving and the shower.  That’s where I think of everything.  So a train, where it’s essentially driving, but with all need to pay attention to the road removed meant that my brain was on overdrive.

So, what if the Creme de la Creme was blogosphere-wide?  I knew I couldn’t write that many blurbs, so it won’t be exactly the same, but think of the Creme on a much wider scale with bridges being build between communities.  So, the Creme is only for us, but the Golden Haiku is for EVERYONE, including us.  Anyone in the ALI community can (and should) do both lists, which will post a few weeks apart.  People outside the ALI community can only do the Golden Haiku list.  Please spread the word to blogs you read outside of the ALI community.

Thank goodness for long trips.


If you live in or near Detroit, I’ll be reading there next Sunday (the 15th).  The reading is at 10 a.m. in West Bloomfield.  Please let me know if you’ll be there.


The Weekly What If: (before I ask this what if, Josh wants all of you to know that he came up with it AND it was thought-up under the threat of violence.  I told him I would punch him in the ass if he didn’t tell me one).  Built on the idea of the new show, Flash Forward, if given the opportunity to see two minutes of your future, would you take it (remember, it could bring you peace, or it could bring you absolute misery for the time leading up to it) and what day specifically would you want to see yourself on?


And now, the blogs…

Babymaking 101 has a post about why she dislikes Halloween.  It’s not the reasons you’re thinking of and you’ll need to read the story in order to learn what made her hate the holiday.  It’s a personal story, but I think I’ll remember it every Halloween.

Sunnywithachanceof has a post about remembering to breathe.  It is a moving post about her relationship with her husband, about hurt and forgiveness and learning how to move forward.  She writes, “He can’t understand why I would forgive him. Why I would continue loving him. He is part of my little miracles. He helped make them breathe with me.”  I was moved to tears from her words.

Weebles Wobblog has a post about a parenting after adoption moment that will make you bow down to her brilliance.  It is literally the epitome of great parenting, where she helps her child move through tough emotions, keeps perspective for herself, and emerges out the other side with all parties unscathed.  It is a must read–not just for those parenting after adoption, but has great lessons on when (and how) not to take words to heart.

Lastly, The Road Less Travelled has a post about the life outside her front door.  She writes, “It really hit me then: there was a whole world out there that, until that point — sheltered as we were in our cozy, childless cocoon — we really weren’t aware existed. (Dimly, perhaps, but not in a real, tangible way.) A world beyond our grasp, beyond our comprehension.”  It is the end of the post that will make you hold your breath as you consider all the possibilities unlived and how the simple shifting of hours can open up insights into other worlds.

The roundup to the Roundup: I am really tacky.  I thought up a new project.  Answer Josh’s Weekly What If.  And lots of great blogs to read.


1 Lynn { 11.06.09 at 8:22 am }

Well, I watched the webcast last night and I didn’t think you looked dumpy at all. I thought you looked very beautiful! I even made The Hubs come over and look and I told him “doesn’t Mel look great?” He agreed.

Hmmm…great what if question! I think I probably would like to see something of the future, no matter if it was good or not. I do not like not being “in the know” and the not knowing that comes with the future irritates me, lol! So, I’m not sure what day I would want to see…..maybe Thanksgiving or Christmas 2 years down the road? Hopefully, there would be little ones at our table or opening gifts. If not, though, I’d be prepared for that.

Going to check out some of these posts now! Already read the one from Sunny and was also moved to tears. Can’t wait to see the others! Oh, and I think the Golden Haiku is a terrific idea and will defnitely be spreading the word!

2 mybumpyjourney { 11.06.09 at 9:30 am }

“Dumpy McDumperstein” is going to have my giggling all day long!!! Even if you don’t look as “polished” as those other barhops do, just know you are a lot more comfortable!! 🙂
I missed the webcast b/c of that crappy thing I have to do called work. Blast it!! I appreciate you thinking about all of the ALI community- you are wonderful.
Okay- Josh’s weekly What If (ps, glad you didn’t have to ass punch him): I honestly don’t think I would like to see into the future at all. If I happened to see something bad- it would mess me up mentally. If it was a good thing- that is wonderful, but I am the type of person that loves surprises. Kinda like Christmas- you always want to know what you are getting, but isn’t it more fun to not look and be surprised.
Golden Haiku is a wonderful idea!

3 loribeth { 11.06.09 at 9:33 am }

Mel, thank you for your eloquent words. Every time you pick one of my posts for the Friday roundup or Kirtsy, I feel like I’ve just won an Oscar or something. : )

I’m not sure whether I would want a glimpse into my future. If I did have one, I can’t think of a specific day I’d want to see in a sneak preview. Maybe my 50th wedding anniversary?? surrounded by family & friends. Whatever the day, I would hope to see myself with dh, happily together.

4 Kate { 11.06.09 at 9:44 am }

I don’t think I’d like to have a ‘flash forward’; I agree with My Bumpy Journey in that seeing something less than ideal would cause me to alter my life in fear up until that date. By the same token, seeing what’s around the next corner when you get there is sometimes a blessing in disguise.

5 Geochick { 11.06.09 at 10:12 am }

“Dumpy McDumperstein” *giggle* I’m sure it wasn’t that bad.

I’d want a sneak preview of the day we’re placed with our baby. If nothing else than to know when it happens!

6 N { 11.06.09 at 10:29 am }

In re: the what if… no. no thank you.

7 Lavender Luz { 11.06.09 at 10:40 am }

I’m with Loribeth. Feels like a got an Oscar, but for something much more meaningful than pretending on celluloid. It’s for interacting in real life. TYVM!

I am much more comfortable not knowing than I would be in seeing a glimpse of my future.

Off to read the other winners this week, Dumpy!

P.S. Where can we see the podcast? I want to “be” with you.

8 S { 11.06.09 at 11:02 am }

This is probably a little tricky of me, but I would take the opportunity and ask to see the two minutes when I first held my firstborn child in my arms. Being able to see this would make all the waiting and drugs and poking and prodding worth it.

(And of course, if I couldn’t be shown that, I would know that I would never successfully bear my own child and could move on to other things.)

9 Palemother { 11.06.09 at 11:53 am }

Thanks for the JCC link — I had the event in my calendar since you first mentioned it.

The directions are kind of buried on the site. I found them here:

There are two facilities … it seems that the first one, the Kahn/Applebaum JCC, is the one in West Bloomfield.

Will you autoraph my copy of your book? 😉

10 a { 11.06.09 at 12:04 pm }

I would totally take the two minutes…and they would be 2 minutes near the end of my life where I was reviewing my whole life (it’s like getting 3 wishes and wishing for more wishes!). That way, I could know what was coming, and consider whether there was anything I could change to cause a better outcome.

In my world, we like variety. We would laugh at all the women wearing the same boots and tell them to get some individual style. We’d tell the phone guy to put a shirt on – it’s autumn, for God’s sake. We’d laugh at the metrosexuals – again, for lacking in individuality. You might stand out against the people who are trying too hard, but you’d fit right in here in the real world.

11 JuliaS { 11.06.09 at 12:39 pm }

Yay Loribeth! I loved that post!

12 Caitlin { 11.06.09 at 12:50 pm }

Y’know, in my down state I will sometimes say to myself, ‘I wish I could just look into the future and know it will eventually work out’. But if ever *really* given the chance, I would probably be too chicken to actually take it.

I am scared to death that life won’t work out the way I have planned. I’m better off not knowing, and just living in the moment.

BTW…I love that show!

13 Calliope { 11.06.09 at 3:45 pm }

I just want a peak of any day next month- just to SEE that it is going to be ok.
LOVE your roundups and LOVE the brilliant ideas you come up with. As soon as I can go archive hunting I am going to get to reading.

14 Jamie { 11.06.09 at 5:01 pm }

I would have to turn down the option to see two minutes of my future. I worry enough as it is about things I can’t control. No reason to add something to the pile!

As for Dumpy McDumperstein . . . I have totally been there . . .

15 Jendeis { 11.06.09 at 5:04 pm }

Love this show and have spent weeks wondering if I’d want a flash-forward. I think that I’d want a day where I know that I have a real-life child, hoping for the peace it will give me that this WILL all work out.

16 Bea { 11.06.09 at 10:04 pm }

I am tacky, too. We could totally hang out together.

I would do the two minutes, but not sure when. I think I would go random. What if I said “age 50” and ended up looking at the inside of a coffin? I would do it if I could choose random, even if that meant I saw a segment of me sleeping, or stuck in traffic, or on the loo or something.

You must get me on to your amphetamine dealer. I am so far behind with everything and you’re creating new stuff.


17 Sunny { 11.07.09 at 10:19 am }

You have blessed my heart once again. Thank you. Writing that post just came in the moment like most do. When I went to reread it, which I never do, it moved my heart like I had never written it. Yep, it was one of those posts.

Now onto my flashforward… it is crazy how your life changes. Back in the day it would have been all about my wanting children. Now it is about my marriage. I would like to see my life in 2 years. Am I still with my husband? Am I whole again? Is he with her? It would be freeing to just know so I can move on now.

Sitting at a hotel bar, wear whatever you want! You always glow! Clothes don’t matter when you glow!

18 Battynurse { 11.07.09 at 4:40 pm }

Hmm. That weekly what if is a tough one. There is a part of me that wants to know one thing about my future. If I’ll have children. If not I’d like to get on to other things like not thinking about wanting children all the time.

19 Leah { 11.07.09 at 11:15 pm }

I often describe my “style” as one step above homeless. So let me tell you that if YOU are “tacky” then I must be downright wretched looking. Because you are beautiful and wonderful. 🙂

That’s a great what if question. Before I had my two kids, I would ABSOLUTELY have wanted to see a glimpse of my future life. I simply couldn’t stand not knowing if I was ever going to be a mom. Now that I have them, I am shocked to realize that I don’t think I would want to see in the future now. I genuinely enjoy living in each moment (okay, *most* moments) and wouldn’t want my present actions to be clouded by the future visions.

20 IF Crossroads { 11.08.09 at 2:46 pm }

First off = I freakin’ love Flash Forward! That show rocks! I’ve been thinking about this exact question since the show started … and I’m not sure if I want to know my future. I’m afraid if I pick a moment in time that I’m so excited about seeing and I’m let down, it might just crush me. So I’ll take a pass on the 2 minute window into the future.

FWIW, I once had to walk down to the Mandarin Oriental lobby in downtown DC in my PJ’s becuase I locked myself out of the room while getting a soda at the vending machine 🙂 Hope that makes you feel better 🙂

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