Random header image... Refresh for more!

A Mini Friday Blog Roundup

We have become immobilized zombies.  I am writing this Thursday night.  Today we spent 45 minutes collectively contemplating a square foot of carpet.  We all just sat together staring at it.  Then we moved upstairs and collapsed into bed and watched three hours of Nascar.  We’ve never watched even three minutes of Nascar in the past.  This is what H1N1 does to you.

I wrote that Show and Tell post days ago, hence why it is coherent.  I’m writing this post in the haze of swine flu.  At first we thought we had a run-of-the-mill cold.  Because the beginning of swine flu feels a lot like the beginning of any flu.  It’s just the middle and ending that are so completely different.

I’ll say two things about it: it is terrible and the media has made it out to be something more scary than what it is.  If you don’t have an underlying medical condition, it is just like a very long, very intense flu.  I am writing this on one of the peaks–because it sort of goes in peaks and valleys.  You’ll be throwing up and shaking and then ten minutes later, feel somewhat fine.  And then go back to coughing and shivering an hour later.  So it feels like every peak is a little trick and I’m not sure when this is ever going to be over.

My two favourite gems that we’ve heard this week are “you’re so lucky to have gotten it at the same time” (um…are you not considering the fact that there is now no one capable to taking care of anyone else in this house at this moment?) and “at least you don’t have to worry about finding the H1N1 vaccine” (um…no…because we freakin’ have the disease that the vaccine was supposed to keep us from getting).

All of us have experienced it differently.  None of us are hungry and we all have fluctuating fevers and coughing.  But the Wolvog has become quiet and dazed.  All he wants to do is sleep or lie on his side and stare at the wall or fall asleep watching Nascar.  Josh has recovered the fastest, having it hard and fast in two days and then recovering enough to take care of everyone else.  The ChickieNob has been vomiting a lot but she is incredibly cheerful.  As in, she vomits up bile and then does a little ballet a few minutes later.

We were watching Nascar and she lazily called out, “I think the red car will win.  No, the yellow car.”  There was a pause, and then she shot up in bed and said, “oh my gosh!  Any car could win!”

And my silent thought was: “and any car could lose.”  I’ve googled it for a bit and haven’t been able to find anyone else writing about this symptom, so if you have googled H1N1 and depression and landed here, I’m glad I was honest about this so you know that you’re not alone (unless no one googles this and lands here and I really am alone).

This flu has made me feel incredibly sad.  Overwhelmingly sad.  And detached and anxious.  I stayed up all night on Wednesday with my mind racing through terrible ideas.  I am impatient and frustrated.  Some of it is tied to the exhaustion, but I have been exhausted before without this crushing sadness.  It’s not tied to anything.  It’s not like I’m worried about the twins because I think they’ll be fine in a few days.  I’m missing stuff and I’m down about that, but this is different.  I can’t explain it.  And I can feel it lifting a bit tonight as the flu lifts a bit, which makes me think that this is tied to the flu.

So I am not in Marlton, NJ tonight for the reading because I doubt anyone wants to be around me.

Thank you to my mummy for bringing us food and supplies.  I’m not sure what we would do without my parents.


The clue for Blogger Bingo today: 10/23–a post that contains a photo of the blogger from any time (posted 8:59 a.m.)


I don’t have the brain power to write long descriptions tonight, but I didn’t want to not put these out there.  I promise you, these posts are very good.  I read them during the week and I thought about them for a while after I closed them.  And you will not regret it (hopefully) if you click over to read them.

A+B, Waiting For C has a post about anonymity on the Internet.

Last American Girl Standing asks how did you feel going into your first IVF cycle and tells you how she feels.

The Baby Chase has a post about being pregnant after infertility.

And The Sun’ll Come Out Tomorrow, I Hope has a post about how she is pulling away from a friend.

I am going to go lie on the sofa and stare at the wall.  I will be back when I am in a better mood and I can talk with people without snapping.


1 Rebecca { 10.23.09 at 10:00 am }

Oh sweetie…I’m so sorry it turned out to be H1N1. That is horrible. I have thought for a while that the media is hyping this up…I’m sure it IS terrible, but like you say unless there’s an underlying condition not necessarily a death sentence like they want us to believe. Sending you lots and lots of get well cyberhugs! You just take time to recover and take care of you. (((HUGS)))

2 a { 10.23.09 at 10:05 am }

Feel better soon…

3 HopeinBriarrose { 10.23.09 at 10:05 am }

I hope you feel better soon! My niece and nephew had it. Their symptoms were basically what you described.

4 Shelli { 10.23.09 at 10:10 am }

Sounds absolutely awful, Mel. And as much as I wanted to meet you tonight, I sure as hell don’t want the swine flu for my FET on Tuesday. lol.

Trying to make you laugh.

ok…. you can go back to staring at the wall now. Get well soon.

5 Heidi { 10.23.09 at 10:11 am }

Feel Better Mel and family!!!!

6 Silya { 10.23.09 at 10:21 am }

Mel, I’m so sorry that you are all sick. I hope it passes soon for you guys. There’s nothing “lucky” or “at least” about getting H1N1! Hope the blues pass quickly too.

7 tash { 10.23.09 at 10:26 am }

Aww crap. I’m so sorry, and even more so that you’re missing tonight (please keep me up to speed if there’s a reschedule?). Wishing a speedy recovery for all of you.

8 Jendeis { 10.23.09 at 10:28 am }

Yuck on the H1N1. And you don’t even eat pork! This is so wrong.

I didn’t know our people could watch Nascar. Must be the Sabra coming out. 🙂

9 Kate (Bee In The Bonnet) { 10.23.09 at 10:31 am }

Sick enough to watch NASCAR? Shiiiiiit. Things must be very, very bad.

I am so sorry that this awful sickness has resulted in you feeling so down. I can imagine that feeling fucking rotten would make it hard to be chipper, but to also be slammed with depression? That seems really unfair. I’m just so sorry.

H had the H1N1, and he said basically what you said– like a normal flu but longer and more intense. He said the fever and accompanying chills were what really did him in. I, conveniently, was out of town for my brother’s wedding the week he got it, so I, conveniently, missed the most contagious time with him (though, like you, found himself in a situation with no one to care for him, though I think he would have preferred me to be there, even if I was sick, too, since having someone else to moan along with you is somehow comforting…). And I was hoping that since I’m basically a stay-at-home wifey type that I would be able to avoid getting it this fall, since my only connection to the outside world had already built his immunity… But then I went back to work part time at a university (aka “Den of Swirling Germs”), and then I got knocked up (a little bit, at least), and now, they’re out of the vaccine in our area, and I’m freaking out a little bit.

But whatever. I’ll figure it out one way or the other, I suppose.

I just wanted to let you know that I am so sorry you are all knocked down sick right now and that I hope you start to feel better (tout suite! The tout-er, the sweet-er!)

10 Journeywoman { 10.23.09 at 10:32 am }

Oh HON! Feel better. I think depression is a part of getting waylaid with any flu. Your body isn’t working the way you want it to.

I wish I could come to your home with chicken soup and some of my best floaty matzoballs. Take it as a rain check.

11 Kate { 10.23.09 at 10:33 am }

Oh NO. Feel better soon. How dreadful and to feel depressed on top of it all. *hugs*

12 Kymberli { 10.23.09 at 10:38 am }

I wondered if it was H1N1. It’s going around like crazy and I’m terribly sorry that it’s landed in the Lollipop household. I hope it passes quickly. hugs

13 Christy { 10.23.09 at 10:47 am }

WOW, sick enough to watch NASCAR? That’s pretty serious stuff, and a very unique symptom, as well. I’m so sorry that all of the Lollipops are so sick, and I hope that every last one is happy and well very soon.

14 Flying Monkeys { 10.23.09 at 11:03 am }

People say the most asinine things trying to be helpful and supportive, I do it too.
Please God, if you give me swine flu let there be no NASCAR on. I’m not sure I could handle it, though I’m sure on some channel, some where, all the previous years’ events are playing in a repeating rotation…over and over and over again.

I hope the fam feels better soon!

15 Suraita { 10.23.09 at 11:17 am }

I have a friend who said that she felt depressed while having H1N1 so you are not alone in that…there are at least two of you.

Hope you are all feeling better soon!

16 loribeth { 10.23.09 at 11:30 am }

I can remember getting the flu while visiting dh (then boyfriend) at his school. I came for the weekend & wound up staying almost an entire week, just laying in bed & staring at the screen. It was while the Sarajevo Winter Olympics were on in 1984 so I OD’d on Olympics (which is a heck of a lot better than NASCAR…!). I dragged myself on the train back to my own city & school because there was an important class I thought I needed to attend. I went straight home again afterwards to bed for another few days. I did not get along with my roommates so they were no help whatsoever in taking care of me. I really should have just stayed with dh. ; )

Hope you are all feeling a whole lot better soon!

(Off to scrub my hands again now…!)

17 theworms { 10.23.09 at 11:33 am }

I hope you are all feeling better soon. The flu sucks 🙁


18 niobe { 10.23.09 at 11:37 am }

Feel better soon.

19 Kim { 10.23.09 at 12:03 pm }

Thanks for including me in the Friday Round-up! I kind of feel like I’ve made it now. 😉 We’ve actually decided that we’re biding our time until the insurance kicks in with two Clomid cycles (and hopefully a vacation!)

I hope your house is feeling better soon. ♥

20 MyBumpyJourney { 10.23.09 at 12:06 pm }

I am sorry you guys are so sick. I hope you all get to feeling better soon!!!

21 Lin { 10.23.09 at 12:23 pm }

So sorry that everyone at the Ford house is still so sick…and, especially that it’s H1N1. However, I also wanted to say thanks for pointing out that while it’s incredibly awful, the media has overhyped it’s life-threatening-ness (yes, I just made up a word). I deal with occupational injuries and, among other things, dabble in pandemic response…

Hope you’re all feeling better soon!

22 Miss K { 10.23.09 at 12:25 pm }

I am so sorry. Sending healthy thoughts your way.

23 Katie { 10.23.09 at 12:28 pm }

I’m sorry everyone is so sick! I hope all of you get to feeling better soon!

24 Half of a Duo, Raising a Duo { 10.23.09 at 12:43 pm }

Mel I am sorry you are feeling gross. The entire family got H1N1 in Greece. We had no vacation. It sucked. We spent 5 days in a third world-like hospital where they literally wrapped diapers around the boys’ IVs to keep them sterile and we had to be the nurses and stay awake (yet as sick as them) to keep them from ripping the IVs out.

I feel your pain. And it does come in waves. You think you are better then the fever and the vertigo hit and you are sunk.

Feel better soon!!! Hugs,

25 Kir { 10.23.09 at 12:55 pm }

feel better Mel, you and your whole family.

26 schmutzie { 10.23.09 at 12:59 pm }

This weblog is being featured on Five Star Friday – http://www.fivestarfriday.com/2009/10/five-star-fridays-edition-76.html

27 Kitty { 10.23.09 at 1:07 pm }

I’m so sorry you guys are feeling so crummy. I hope it passes quickly.

Do you have a fever? That always does funny things to my mood.

28 Lavender Luz { 10.23.09 at 1:22 pm }

I’m holding your hand through the flu and sadness (uh, from 2000 miles away — that’s enough, right?)

Breathe — through your mouth if you must — and it will pass. Like the faster cars in NASCAR…

So grateful for your mom.

29 Jill { 10.23.09 at 1:36 pm }

For those that have suggested you are lucky to have come down with H1N1 you should certainly share your good fortune with them. You would be selfish not to. 😉

Happy ICLW and feel better!

30 jill { 10.23.09 at 2:09 pm }

Ugh 🙁 I hope you and your family all feel better very quickly!

31 Another Dreamer { 10.23.09 at 2:47 pm }

Ungh, major suckiness. I hope you all get better soon.

32 karlinda { 10.23.09 at 3:02 pm }

Sorry it turned out to be bacon flu. Hope you’re all feeling better soon! I’ve been so ill & exhausted that it lead to that kind of depression. It’s a horrible symptom, but it’ll go when the flu does.

33 Annacyclopedia { 10.23.09 at 3:03 pm }

Two of my friends here have it and it all just sounds so dreadful. Sorry you four are having such a rough time of it. Sending you healing thoughts from a very safe distance.

34 Photogrl { 10.23.09 at 3:37 pm }

I’m sorry that you are all so sick….


Hope the flu fog lifts soon!

35 IF Crossroads { 10.23.09 at 5:32 pm }

Mel, I’m so sorry you are feeling so nasty and sad right now 🙁
By any chance, did you or are you taking Tamiflu for the H1N1 virus? One of the major s/e’s that isn’t getting enough media attention (IMO) is the very high occurrence of depression, delirium and suicidal thoughts associated with that med. I know because I experienced this first-hand while taking Tamiflu last year for the regular Flu virus.
In any case, I hope you get to feeling better really soon.
Sending you a big virtual bowl of chicken noodle soup.

36 Mrs. Gamgee { 10.23.09 at 6:47 pm }

I hope that you all are feeling better soon…

I know when I get sick, especially if I get a cough, I find myself feeling very down. It feels like it’s never going to away. I think the enforced isolation of being sick also contributes to it.

Sending good thoughts and lots of prayers for you and your family!

37 Jules { 10.23.09 at 7:04 pm }

I hope you’re feeling better soon Mel. xo

38 once a mother { 10.23.09 at 7:49 pm }

So sorry to hear you are all so sick. Sending you many, many prayers for a speedy recovery.

39 Nancy { 10.23.09 at 8:36 pm }

I can’t even believe you did a mini round up being so sick.

Be good to yourself and I am sending as many get well vibes that I can!

40 Leah { 10.23.09 at 11:25 pm }

I’m sorry you guys are so sick. It sounds hellish over there, I wish I could do something. Megan has the flu right now too, and she is handling it much like Wolvog. She just does lots of dazed staring and sleeping. It’s fairly spooky since she’s normally bouncing off the walls. Actually, she’s a bit narcoleptic because I’ve caught her sleeping sitting up. Poor thing. No puking yet, just a terribly painful sounding cough, congestion, exhaustion, body aches, and a constant fever (despite alternating Motrin and Tylenol). Her doctor prescribed tamiflu so I’m interested to see if it is helpful. The jury is still out.

Thank our lucky stars that we haven’t had to resort to Nascar. That only adds to the ghoulish nature of the grip that this virus has on your house! Is there anything I can do for you? Drop chicken soup on your door step and then haul ass back to my own county? Deliver some MadLibs and Twizzlers? Just tell me and I’ll bring it right over.

41 Enna { 10.24.09 at 12:47 am }

I hope you and your family feels better soon! The flu sounds really, really miserable 🙁

42 clare { 10.24.09 at 4:05 am }

I am a recovered swine flu girl.. and THIS will PASS and it will suck before that happens but it will become past tense eventually. I don’t know which of my flus this year was the swine one… but I remember feeling very sad and alone and disconnected from life. I also had lots of peaks and valleys and kept thinking I was well before I was and then pushing too hard.

Nascar seems much more appropriate that what I turned to which was the Savage Love podcast (aka sex advice podcast) which somehow kept my eyes closed, let me be horizontal, and not compeltely bored until my body went back to sleep. I loved the comments about the car. Thank you for finding the energy to post this — it made me smile!

The other thing I discovered was major brain fog… It is only now lifting — I just couldn’t think or remember or hold much in my brain. It was this horrid foggy feeling and eventually I thought that I was only pretending that I once new a different way. I only mention it because it took me awhile before I realized I was making mistakes I don’t normally do and even longer before my brain made the connection betwen the fog and my illness. Now that I am well, my brain is back…

good luck — let us know if you need book or movie or other recs. But if the carpet is working for it – go for it. No $ or late fees required!

43 Wishing4One { 10.24.09 at 5:25 am }

Oh no, all of you at once, I just wouldn’t think that would be good as some people think i guess. Get better fast and NASCAR sucks, sorry.

44 Vee { 10.24.09 at 7:33 am }

It sounds really nasty, I hope you all recover quickly.

45 WiseGuy { 10.24.09 at 9:01 am }

Am so sorry that your family has been hit by the Swine Flu. Please take care and get well soon. Best wishes.

46 Karen { 10.24.09 at 2:09 pm }

It’s definitely easier to get it staggered than all at once. And it’s actually making me more elated than depressed because it’s forced me to sleep non-stop and feel fully rested for the first time in over a year. Thanks to my hubby watching Evie while I was going through the worst of it. Hope you all are better soon.

47 nh { 10.24.09 at 3:36 pm }

Sorry to hear about the swine flu. I hope you all feel better soon!

48 Tara { 10.24.09 at 5:24 pm }

Thinking of you and your family, Mel and hoping you’re all better soon.

49 Carrie { 10.24.09 at 6:35 pm }

You poor thing! I hope your house gets back to their normal, happy selves soon!

50 Paz { 10.25.09 at 9:40 am }

oh no! I am so sorry to hear it.

We have also been laid low here. About 7 weeks of illness. But never any fevers, just coughing and sinus. Nights have been rough. Last night I fantasized about using the nasal sucker that I brought home from the hospital after having my son – um, I wanted to use it on myself! Then the rest of this snoring, coughing bunch. Luckily, I have no idea where it is.

Hope you are all heading out of it soon. So what is Josh’s super immune secret?

(c) 2006 Melissa S. Ford
The contents of this website are protected by applicable copyright laws. All rights are reserved by the author