Random header image... Refresh for more!

The Wish Box

The answer is that it’s a wish box.

Larisa has this gorgeous post in the Creme de la Creme list about holding onto another person’s hope. She writes: “She is holding my hope for me, because I can’t. I picture it as this bright, tiny ball of light that she has clenched in her hands…I can hold hope for others so well. I promise. My offer is this: I will hold your hope for you, however you picture it. In return, I only ask that you hold mine. My tiny little ball of light.”
It’s such a gorgeous idea. In my case, it is usually Josh who holds my hopes and wishes–who believes in them when I can’t. And I thought about all the times I have sent good thoughts to another person or made a wish on their behalf. And how it just feels less lonely to know that someone else is sharing the burden of your hope–someone else is believing alongside you. And if, for whatever reason, you can’t get out of that room of doubt in order to keep believing or you can’t remember why you started all of this in the first place because all you feel now is so much pain…well…you can know that there is someone else who is fanning the little flame of hope for you until you can do it again.
This is an on-going project. There is a link to this post on the sidebar so it is easy to find. If you post your wish or your hope in this space, I promise to add my energy to your words and wish alongside you. You will, at the very least, have an additional person wishing for you too. But my other hope for this project is that if you have a few minutes in your day and you can send some good thoughts out there for another person, you will read through the comments and repeat their words to yourself, holding their hope for a moment in your hands in order to add strength to the wish.
Do I believe that it is as simple as speaking words and making them come true? No. But I still wish on stars and I still drop pennies into fountains because I think putting those feelings into words gives one a sense of purpose and direction. We can all use some hope–and the point is not even the wish itself. It’s that there are hundreds of stirrup queens and sperm palace jesters that have your back on the days when you can’t have your own back. And that is the power of community.
There is no limit to the amount of wishes you can leave. Place one on the list every day or just on the days when you need a little extra hope floated your way–before a beta, after a transfer, when choosing a donor or surrogate, or waiting for your referral. You can place your name or leave your wish anonymously. It can be a specific wish about an event or an all-encompassing wish about your future. It can be fertility related or it can be another type of wish that you need help holding. It would be nice, if your wish does come true, to return and leave a comment about that and spend a few minutes reading through the other comments and helping them with their wishes. It is simply a way of offering a hand back to those still in the trenches or those who are still waiting for their wish to come true.


1 The Town Criers { 02.06.07 at 7:21 pm }

Perhaps this was simply selfish, but I have a wish that needs extra holding. It is not fertility related, and I feel shy writing out the words, but I promise to return and write down the outcome (in words rather than initials) when it comes true.

So please wish for me: P.B.J.B.S.A.K.H.S.

2 Adrienne { 02.06.07 at 10:06 pm }

So glad I can help you hold it: P.B.J.B.S.A.K.H.S. And wishing that your wish comes true.

3 Anam_Kihaku { 02.06.07 at 11:38 pm }

I will help hold your hope and other people’s, keep it warm and remind you that hope will be there for you always.

my hope is for more happiness in 2007 than in 2006 in what ever form it comes in.

4 Larisa { 02.06.07 at 11:47 pm }

Awww. Thanks.

I’m holding P.B.J.B.S.A.K.H.S.

My selfish wish – that this cycle will work. Really work. Not a miscarriage/ectopic. But a pregnancy and a baby.

5 Bea { 02.07.07 at 1:11 am }

P.B.J.B.S.A.K.H.S. Got it.

I really like the idea of parcelling out hope. It takes too much courage to hope for yourself sometimes, but it’s good to know there’s hope “going on in the world”, for you.


6 Jessica { 02.07.07 at 6:13 am }

Glad to help.
I have a hope too. I hope that today’s second beta numbers turn out wonderfully. It’s an obvious hope, but one nonetheless. One that I’m scared to hope too much for myself.

7 aah0424 { 02.07.07 at 7:50 am }

I’m holding onto hope for your wish!

I have a wish or a hope for today-We have our first RE appointment today in almost a year. I’m just hoping we don’t get horrible news about my husband’s azoospermia. I’m almost hoping the doctor will tell me he is running a new round of TESE clinical trials so that we won’t have to make a decision strictly on financial reasons.

8 Dianne/Flutter { 02.07.07 at 12:39 pm }

Holding to all of your hopes and wished. And will continue to today.

Please wish for me that this cycle isn’t my body playing a cruel joke, that all of my hope is not for not, that I finally see that reclusive second line, and have a little one to show for it in 91/2 months.

Thank you Mel…selfish or not, it couldn’t of come at a perfect time for me.

9 Katherine { 02.07.07 at 1:56 pm }

I’m holding your wishes and hoping for all of you.
My wish is that this pregnancy ends with the live birth of our healthy baby. You know, just a small little thing of a wish…

10 Jessica { 02.07.07 at 2:40 pm }

It worked! My 2nd beta showed a doubling rate of 40.97 hrs (from the betabase). Thanks so much! 😉

Now a new one, that I’ll see a nice little heartbeat on 2/20!

11 Jess { 02.07.07 at 3:22 pm }

Hold onto mine, too, and I’ll say a prayer for you guys.

My immediate hopes that need holding are:

-things go smoothly with the upcoming suppression/ivf (or, you know, if I could be pregnant right NOW, and it work out, that would be ok, too, but I’m not holding my breath)

-that 2007 sees us pregnant with a pregnancy that lasts

-that, barring that, or not barring that (either way), we get an adoption to go through soon!

-that the adoption and the IVF don’t conflict in a disasterous we-have-an-interview-on-retrieval-day sort of way

12 KD { 02.07.07 at 4:02 pm }

I am wishing that all the stirrup queens and sperm palace jesters have a child of their own, by whatever means, by year end. I’m so tired of the self-doubt and disappointment that everyone (myself included) has had to suffer through. I just want us all to be happy.

13 Sunny { 02.07.07 at 5:07 pm }

What a beautiful post!!!

I am holding out hope for all of you. When I go on my walk in the mornings I will say a prayer.

As for my hope… that AF stays away before we have to begin all of our testing again. It would be just too perfect.

14 My Reality { 02.07.07 at 5:50 pm }

I love this idea.

I am holding on to hope for P.B.J.B.S.A.K.H.S. for you.

15 Sami { 02.08.07 at 11:43 pm }

I’m holding onto hope for all of your wishes and for those that have been granted I am joyous.

For myself – I hope that next Friday’s ultrasound shows another heartbeat with proper growth… Right now it feels as if the fall will be hard and long if we don’t…

16 Chantelle { 02.09.07 at 12:35 am }

I love this idea. I’m holding the hope for all of you and your wishes. I’m wishing that the next 7 months are filled with joy and when I am cleared to ttc that my husband and I have a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby.

17 Jules { 02.09.07 at 3:01 am }

I am holding hope for all your wishes.

My selfish wish for now, is to have a least 10 eggs at pick up. It would be better than the 6 follies we saw at scan today.

18 Chris { 02.09.07 at 9:29 am }

P.B.J.B.S.A.K.H.S. – I’m all over it and hope the very best for you.

19 Mo's girl { 02.09.07 at 6:28 pm }

I am so moved by these posts. I read them all and cried. I repeated them and truly wish everyone’s wishes come true. I thought I would not leave one, but here goes: My Heart’s desire: to conceive a child with my husband, to experience pregnancy, to get the opportunity to raise a child and be a family.

May everyone have their heart’s desire.

20 The Town Criers { 02.11.07 at 12:01 pm }

Mo’s girl–I’m holding your hope too.

21 A.M.S. { 02.14.07 at 11:44 am }

I’m holding on to everyone’s hope, keeping it safe and sound. I promise to guard it well.

We had our consult last night. We’re one step closer and I need someone to hold my hope for me so the doubts and fears don’t snuff out that little flame. I think I believe that I can’t possibly be lucky enough for this to work, that I haven’t earned it, that I’m always going to end up on the wrong side of the statistics. Someone has to, right? After 5 times of “It looked perfect on paper, but…” I’m starting to think there will always be a “but…”

22 Iselyahna { 02.15.07 at 12:29 am }

Holding your wishes, and glad for the opportunity to do so.

My wish: That I will learn to trust, and that my anxiety level will lessen, so that I can live again, without being in fear every moment.

23 The Town Criers { 02.17.07 at 3:19 pm }

Thank you for holding my wish for me. Wanted to report that my husband is safely back in the States and on his way home. Every year, he has to go over to Berlin for two weeks, and every year, I worry when he gets on that aeroplane. So my wish came true that he returned safely. Thank you for helping me breathe a little easier while he was away.

24 Chris { 02.19.07 at 10:55 am }

Here’s a new wish: I hope that everything goes well at my RE appointment this afternoon. I wish that we’ll be moving on to a new protocol and my work trip tomorrow doesn’t interfere with anything.

25 decemberbaby { 02.19.07 at 1:28 pm }

I’m wishing that tomorrow’s IUI goes really well, and leads to a healthy full-term pregnancy and healthy baby.

There. I said it.

26 ASheggy { 02.20.07 at 1:33 pm }

I’ve been struggling with “hope” for a long time now. At the beginning of each cycle I’m bursting with hope … but … the feeling of dread that comes at the end of every cycle is so overwhelming – it takes my breath away! It consumes every waking moment – I can’t shake it!

Today is day 24 of my 3rd clomid cycle and I’m TERRIFIED! I’m almost holding my breath for Friday to come so I can POAS!
I’m so worried that I’ll only see one line staring back at me that I took Friday off.

My wish is to get back to a “happy place” where I can breathe again. I want to be the person I was before my 3 MCs … I want to be the “me” I was before IF came and crushed all of my hopes and dreams…..

… and if its not too much to ask …. I wish for a BFP this Friday ………pretty please ….with a cherry on top!

27 The Town Criers { 02.20.07 at 7:13 pm }

Asheggy–I’m holding out a wish for a BFP with the back-up being a return to calm. Hang in there. I’ll be thinking about you this Friday.

28 Anonymous { 02.23.07 at 10:17 am }

Please God, allow us to get pregnant, allow the medication to work, and if it doesn’t, please allow us to have peace.

29 The Town Criers { 02.23.07 at 12:15 pm }

Anonymous–I can’t write you directly since you left the post anonymously 🙂

But I wanted you to know that I’m holding that hope for you and wishing you peace with both alternatives.

30 ASheggy { 02.27.07 at 1:01 pm }

UPDATE: last Friday was a BFN….
But this one was different than most – I had a strange sense of calm while I waited for the lines and when only one appeared I just shrugged it off and went on with my day. I was disappointed but it didn’t consume me like it normally does. MANY THANKS to all of you that sent me the positive vibes. IT REALLY HELPED!

PS. Had my first acupuncture appt yesterday. LOVED IT! Am very hopeful that this will be the piece of the puzzle that was missing.

31 The Town Criers { 03.01.07 at 9:55 am }

I’m glad it helped, ASheggy. Glad to make a negative easier, but hope the next time that it’s a positive.

32 Chris { 03.02.07 at 1:22 pm }

Adding yet another wish to the box… We had our IUI this morning. Naturally, I’m wishing for the elusive BFP. If that fails, I wish for the strength to deal with the fallout. I’m generally not very good with that.

33 Mary { 03.05.07 at 10:00 pm }

I’m hoping against all hope that this donor (our third) will be the one that finally results in a living, breathing child for us (two would be even better, but I don’t want to sound greedy.)

I read all of these hopes and hoped and prayed with all my strength that your wishes will come true. I have hope for you all.

34 Mary { 03.05.07 at 10:01 pm }

I’m hoping against all hope that this donor (our third) will be the one that finally results in a living, breathing child for us (two would be even better, but I don’t want to sound greedy.)

I read all of these hopes and hoped and prayed with all my strength that your wishes will come true. I have hope for you all.

35 Candie { 03.14.07 at 7:23 pm }

I am wishing that our IVF cycle is successful! This is our first of 3 tries on a shared risk program. After years of inftertility, IUI’s all that stuff….we finally have hope again!

36 Anonymous { 03.18.07 at 3:47 pm }

I’m wishing that my hope that I gave up returns…

37 Polobear { 03.21.07 at 10:26 am }

I wish this cycle works.

I’m holding P.B.J.B.S.A.K.H.S. safly in my thoughts.

38 The Town Criers { 03.21.07 at 1:04 pm }

Anonymous and Polobear:

I’m holding your hopes as well. May your hope return and may your cycles be successful.

39 ASheggy { 03.23.07 at 12:24 pm }

My original WISH came true. I’m back in a HAPPY PLACE where I can breathe again! I’ll never be the “old me” again – and I’m ok with that – I’m a “BETTER me” now! As the song goes …. it truly is a wonderful world!

An update on us: after battling the “IF BEAST” (and getting our collective ass whooped) my DH and I have decided to stop all treatments and focus on ADOPTION to build our family.
It took us a long time to get here but I’m so glad we did. I feel so LIBERATED – so FREE – so ALIVE – for the first time in years!

We picked the anniversary of our last MC (4/3) as the date we sign with our agency. That horrible day will now be a day filled with hope as my DH and I are “reborn” into the world of adoption. 

With that said … I have 2 wishes (1 for me – 1 for you):
WISH 1 = that our adoption adventure will bring my DH and I closer together (and bring us a family!)
WISH 2 = that all of you will find peace now and forever with all of the choices that you make. That your dreams will be fulfilled and your pain end. My heart goes out to all of you! GOOD LUCK!

40 A.M.S. { 03.30.07 at 8:35 am }

We go in on Wednesday to get our IVF calendar. This may be the our last shot at this (pardon the pun) and I’m ping-ponging between hope and despair.

My wish is that this time, on the first try, I get to hit the jackpot.

41 lyoness { 03.30.07 at 2:57 pm }

I hope that that I am the next person I know to be pregnant.. I’m tired of all the accidents; why can’t it be me??

42 The Town Criers { 04.01.07 at 5:41 pm }

Lyoness–I couldn’t write you directly, so I’m hoping that you return here to read this message. I’m hoping you’re next too. It’s so hard–this journey is just so hard. I hope you get happy news soon.

43 Cibele { 04.01.07 at 9:26 pm }

What a great idea! I’ll hold on to all your hopes. I feel so lonely among my super fertile friends and don’t want to share with them my fear and hopes. I am relatively new here and just want to introduce me. I’ve been TTC for over 2 years, got pregnant once but it ended up in a m/c. SO far I have no diagnosis. We have no IF coverage and with both of us paying college it seems that there is never enough money for us to move to the next level: RE, IUI.. I am ready to fight! It is clear the trying the old fashion way will not work for us ( I hope I am wrong) . My wish is that this summer when I start a new job that I can get a good ins that offers some kind of IF coverage. I just want to have a chance to try!!!!!!!!!!

Just one more wish not related to pregnancy: I will be defending my doctoral thesis in one week from tomorrow. I am so so nervous! I just want to you all to breath for me. I’ll be holding my breath until April 9th when my committee looks at me and says : congratulations Dr.!!!

44 Chelsi { 04.02.07 at 8:50 pm }

This is such a great idea. I hope everyone’s wishes and hopes come to fruition.

I wish for direction in this journey as I’ve been waiting a while to adopt and my homestudy will expire soon. I pray for guidance and for God to lead me in the right direction, whether it be to keep trying for a baby or to give up entirely and accept a child free life.

45 Jess { 04.13.07 at 9:32 am }

My last wish in here worked almost splendidly, except for the adoption/cycle conflict part. But it wasn’t interview on retrieval day, it was match and pg in the same week.

But I’m putting in my wish that 2007 sees this baby stick and that Russ and Rachel still want us to parent their daughter. Because there’s nothing I’d love more.

46 Jess { 04.16.07 at 11:32 am }

The wish box is on a roll for me (What? You think it was all the frantic praying and a little luck? Ok, MAYBE.) so I’m adding again.

I hope that when Ava is born, Russ and Rach are sure in their decision to keep us as parents. I hope that they have peace more often than grief.

And I hope that on May 2, my u/s shows a beating heart and that Ava will have a little brother or sister sooner rather than later.

47 Anonymous { 04.17.07 at 6:28 pm }

My wish is for our ivf cycle to work this week. My hope is that my friend will also win this battle. She will be an excellent mother.

48 The Town Criers { 04.17.07 at 8:33 pm }

Anonymous–I’m hoping your IVF cycle yields a positive this week. And I’m holding hope for your friend too. Come back and let us know the outcome.

49 buckeyegirl { 04.22.07 at 12:23 pm }

We recently had a missed miscarriage at eight weeks after seeing a heartbeat at seven weeks. Followed that up with a D&E and its so hard to hope now. I’m trying to be hopeful and positive for my hubby – but in my heart of hearts, there is so little hope left. I just want our next cycle to go well, that we get pregnant and give birth to a healthy baby. Just hard to hope right now.

50 The Town Criers { 04.22.07 at 12:30 pm }

Hey, buckeye girl. It is hard to hope. But know that you have many other people in the blogosphere hoping alongside you. May your next cycle go well and may you find hope again.

(c) 2006 Melissa S. Ford
The contents of this website are protected by applicable copyright laws. All rights are reserved by the author