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The Art of Moving On

Yesterday morning, at 9 am, Paz swung by the house to pick me up and we took a girls’ road trip up to Hershey — 2 hours away — to meet up with M.  We ate chocolate (though not enough), dragged Paz on the ride, and then had a four hour lunch at this tiny restaurant.  The day rocked so hardcore.

I’ve known M and Paz for almost 4 years, and being with them is like putting on a pair of black swingy pants — totally comfortable but not in a boring sit-on-the-sofa-in-sweats sort of way.  These women are do-ers and thinkers and sassy and funny.  They are the type of people you can fall into a four hour lunch with and still emerge with things to discuss on the ride home.

We know a lot of face-to-face people in common because we’re all in TOOTPU, but we also overlap with hundreds of bloggers that we all virtually know.  For instance, I was finally able to share the thought I have every time I go into the bathroom at Chocolate World — I think of Julie and her dislike of people using their foot to flush a toilet and how someone has invented a public toilet to send a clear message about dirty shoes and flushing.  And rather than say, “who is Julie?” everyone nodded and said, “what do you think of hovering over toilets?”

The topic of those who have stopped blogging came up too, and Paz and I mused on the many reasons why people close their blogs.  Sometimes it’s clear — the story has ended, the person got too busy to write, they were a sporadic poster to start with and now you’re not sure if they’re done writing or if this is just one of their long pauses.

But we were musing more about the ones that don’t have a clear ending.  The person posted regularly, didn’t seem to be at a natural break, and simply said, “goodbye!”  And then they disappeared into the ether.  Every once in a while, they pop back into a comment section, but they transition from writing semi-daily to not writing at all.  And it just makes you wonder — how do you lose that routine and not miss it at all?  I am not talking about the people who switch blogging spaces, but the people who stop writing altogether and float away after having a pretty regular writing routine.

Which bloggers who used to squat in the blogosphere do you miss now that they’ve moved on to other things?  Who do you wonder about?

And on that note, help me out with the blog closure section of the Creme de la Creme listIs there anyone you can think of who closed (not moved, but clearly said goodbye to readers, closed a blog, and stopped writing) in 2010?


1 Mic @ IF Crossroads { 12.05.10 at 10:24 am }

I often wonder about those who have just disappeared into the night – Eggcetra, Run Amok Amok and Hoping for a baby are a few that I often wonder about.

2 Yolk { 12.05.10 at 11:03 am }

I did that once with a fitness blog I wrote a few years ago. Life just got busy and I did miss it so much and I totally regret it now….

3 Rachel { 12.05.10 at 12:07 pm }

Niobe closed her blog this year.

4 Sushigirl { 12.05.10 at 12:22 pm }

Ooh, one of my favourite blogs just stops -barrenblog.blogspot.com. Well, when I say it “just stops” the blogger gets to the end of her first trimester. I really enjoy reading the archives though, and wonder how she’s getting along.

5 tash { 12.05.10 at 1:06 pm }

Just the other day I was musing about Getupgrrrl and Chez Miscarriage. Funny stuff, that was.

Thankfully I’m friendly enough with Niobe via email otherwise I’d miss the crud out of her.

6 HereWeGoAJen { 12.05.10 at 1:38 pm }

I miss Farah blogging. I’m friends with her on Facebook and we email, but it isn’t the same!

7 BigP's Heather { 12.05.10 at 1:42 pm }

I wonder how many people see that toilet as a challenge to get their foot that high?

8 Life in Eden {amy} { 12.05.10 at 2:25 pm }

omg, I think of that Julie post nearly EVERY time I’m in a public stall — just yesterday at Target in fact! Hysterical.

I miss Niobe too. And tell Leah I miss her too — she was one of my first ALI buddies. But I’m glad she is too happy (I hope) and busy to blog.

9 Mrs. Spit { 12.05.10 at 2:41 pm }

The other night I was just thinking of Antigione and her Persus.

10 a { 12.05.10 at 3:39 pm }

I miss Niobe too. And Antigone. And Subfertile Myrtle.

11 Sue { 12.05.10 at 6:22 pm }

I was just thinking about Niobe and somehow missed that she had closed her blog. I still have Antigone’s link on my page, and every once in a while I click on it to get a look at her little one, and wonder how she’s doing.

I thought about closing, since I’m in kind a quiet period and things are on hold reproductively. It’s kind of odd to be in this place, as so many of my cohort are in different places, and I miss the activity of the old days, though not the pain, of course. It’s been difficult to maintain some of the older friendships outside the blog, though I know, all I have to do is reach out. It’s kind of like old friends from some life-changing period: the connection is there, it’s deep and it’s like no other.

12 Lori Lavender Luz { 12.05.10 at 9:05 pm }

Yeah, Niobe and Antigone.

And it wasn’t in 2010, but KarenO was one of the first bloggers I bonded with. I’ve written to her but don’t know what’s become of her or her story….:-(

Would love to be with you and M and Paz again!

13 KL { 12.05.10 at 9:43 pm }

I click on The Third Wheel every now and then (http://mumbaimaybe.blogspot.com/). Always wondered why when some people stop blogging, and don’t say goodbye.

14 Christine { 12.05.10 at 11:32 pm }

I miss Baggage and Bug. I continue to think of them, and hope that her two foster kids, Bubba, and Snowbaby (and their older sister Butterfly who was not living with Baggage) have found permanency. Baggage, if you are out there, come back!! I miss you!!!

15 Kristin { 12.06.10 at 1:30 am }

I miss Niobe and Antigone but I desperately, truly miss Grrl. Her writing is/was brilliant and, thanks to someone who was stealing her work, we don’t even have access to her archives. I’ve heard from her a few times but man do I miss her.

16 Paz { 12.06.10 at 7:49 am }

It was soooooo fun with you and M. I am a hovering, foot-flusher and yet you both accept me as I am.

I miss Which box, Antigone Lost, and a few others whose blog I don’t recall the name of but I recall their ‘voice.’ Though her recent absence seems understandable, I hope New Midlife Mommy is not done blogging.

17 mash { 12.06.10 at 2:43 pm }

I’m so glad you visited M. Makes me happy to know someone was with her. Mwah to you!

18 m. { 12.06.10 at 4:06 pm }

Aww, doods! I just saw this post. The day was indeed awesome. Mash and Lori, I wish you were there too! But you probably would have put your feet down after ride #3 through chocolate world (the song! that song! it’s in my head!)

I miss Niobe. And Antigone. And Bella and Her Fella aren’t gone but I keep forgetting to update my reader. I’m thrilled Mrs. Duck is someplace new now. Wanna Be Dad was a pretty great parenting after loss blogger who’s no longer writing. Wifethereof, Beaten but Not Bowed, Behind Schedule….miss you guys.

And for the record, I refuse to hover but I foot flush like a MF.

19 Bea { 12.06.10 at 4:42 pm }

(Not) Coming To A Uterus Near You closed this year. There’s another, but password protected, so…?


20 Kate (Bee In The Bonnet) { 12.06.10 at 5:17 pm }

I miss Io. I still keep up with her on Facebook, but it’s just not the same. Sigh. Come back, Io!

21 La Loca { 12.06.10 at 9:30 pm }

I miss . Her house caught on fire and she stopped her blog. Now, the blog doesn´t exist anymore. Also, Evie @ . She hasn´t posted in 3 months! I´m sure she´s really busy now…but I still miss her and her animal encounters.

22 Calliope { 12.13.10 at 10:28 am }

I miss IO!!!!!!! Who Shot My Stork needs a kick in the pants- come baaaaaack!!!

And hells yes I am a foot flusher. Not a hoverer or squatter tho.

My grandmother used to make me put toilet tissue all around the bowl of a public toilet for her. Even if there were liners (they were “scratchy”). One square at a time. So when it was my turn I just sat down and went!

I missed you guys OH SO MUCH!!

23 Battynurse { 12.26.10 at 2:30 pm }

I know that here and there I’ve seen blogs that just sort of stopped. Most of the time it seems like they’ve just gotten busy with parenting or life in general. I know one a couple of years ago announced he was stopping and I forget the reasons but it made sense. For myself sometimes it feels like I just don’t have much to say. My life is busy but not much of any of it relates to infertility any more other than the occasional pang of what I still don’t have and do I keep hoping or let go. I wonder too if anyone really wants to read just another yup, still here post.

(c) 2006 Melissa S. Ford
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