The Lost Week Found in Pictures (Friday and Beyond)
Continued from yesterday…children seen and mentioned…
By Friday, I had not really checked email in three days. I had not cleaned the house or packed our bags or slept for more than four hours or shaved my legs (I wanted to give the Senate staff a true Melissa experience with stubbly legs and a nice white skirt). And then Josh left for the office to work for a few hours before we got on the road and I baked 24 bagels to eat during Vampire Weekend.
Vampire Weekend contained neither vampires (unless you count Edward) nor took place solely on the weekend. But doesn’t the name sound intriguing?
Every year, we go on holiday with our friends to their beach house and they endure the shifting moods of the ChickieNob and Wolvog (and our friends’ patience constantly amazes me). Their house is on the Intercoastal Highway and you can sit in the backyard and watch the boats pass.
The ChickieNob and Wolvog usually come with “good ideas.” Such as hole digging. Holes must always been made in the beach.
M, beginning the first hole of the day
The hole was large enough for the twins to climb inside
And every day repeated the same way.
Another day, another hole
Either our friends had the kind-heart to lie, or they enjoyed it too.
We ate lunch by the water and the staff remembered us from our last visit. I know that the twins gather attention sometimes as multiples usually do, but they weren’t the ones who triggered the woman’s memory. “You!” she exclaimed when I passed her to go to the bathroom. “You’re that girl who had waited years to see Smith Island! You came here last year.”
No crab cakes or rockfish for me…I brought my own peanut butter and jelly sandwichWe tried to get to the other island this time, calling Waverly over to Tylerton to see if he could pick us up. But we never heard back from him so we rented golf carts and took a ride around the island, pausing to take pictures.
It was hard to leave. I again broached the idea with Josh of purchasing land on the island, of taking off the year to live there, especially since his blackberry still worked on the island and ferry. I think because our time there is so limited and I love it so intensely, it makes every trip feel a little frantic. I love Smith Island like Bella loves Edward. There, I said it. The reason I love the books is because I have the same smouldering intensity with a piece of marsh land.
Wearing braids because Entertainment Weekly told us that buns were out, pigtails were five minutes ago and braids were in. And we take all of our hair advice from Entertainment Weekly
A photo taken by the WolvogBefore we went home, we spent one more day at the beach and returned to Funland for a final visit. The ChickieNob wanted me to win her a stuffed pony and I sat down to one of those midway games where you need to roll balls into a hole and it makes your horse jump ahead. Even though I am the most uncoordiated person in the world, I managed to win on my first try and it was such a high that I ran around the boardwalk shrieking.
I tried again to win the Wolvog a stuffed dog, tossing a wiffle ball onto a painted muffin pan, which I sucked at big time. I used up six tries and then looked down at him, his lower lip quivering and heard him say, “why can’t you win something for me?”
And, please, tell me that you wouldn’t rig a game for a heartbreaking moment like that.
The four adults all went to play each other at this game where you squirt a target with a water gun in order to make your marker rise. One of us obviously had to win, and we did, though it didn’t have the same high that came from the pony game. We went on some rides, ate Thrashers, and walked the main drag, coming to a pause by our car.
Some vacations, you’re ready to leave once you get in the car. And some vacation-ends only fill you with dread because you’re thinking about what you’ll return to once you reach work and home. But leaving this vacation filled me with sadness because I’ve always wanted to go on holiday with friends; been one of those couples who children grow up with fictive kin that they holidayed with year after year. And it occurred to me as we got in the car that we have that. That we’re grown-ups and we have those friends and it fills me with thankfulness and emotion.
And now back to our regularly scheduled week.
July 7, 2009 20 Comments
The Lost Week Found in Pictures (Wednesday and Thursday)
children mentioned and seen…
I have finally finished undigging from the final week in June, a week that included my blogoversary, Advocacy Day, seeing four bloggers, going to the beach, and stripping amongst kosher beef. An explanation in pictures…
Wednesday:
Woke up and went to meet Lindsay on the farm to pick blueberries.
Drove back towards home to meet Lindsay and Karen for lunch. Decided it would save time if we changed into our bathing suits at the restaurant for the splash park we were going to after we ate. Forgot that I had marked up my breast when I found the lump until the ChickieNob started calling out, “someone has written on my mommy’s boobie! Someone drew on my mommy with a Sharpie! We don’t draw on skin!” Thankfully, she never noticed the fact that I had Meghan’s name scrawled across my breast a few weeks ago.
Went to the splash park and splashed our hearts out.
Ran home and jumped in the shower. Tried to make myself look presentable because I was meeting Cassandra at a conference center which had the vibe of Bohemian Grove. Wondered as I drive through the campus if Cassandra is secretly part of the Illuminati, which would explain the great questions she asks for Thoughtful Thursdays. We went to get Starbucks so I could drink coffee and stare at her glossy glossy hair. It is like out of a Pantene ad. She is exactly as you would expect from her blog. Smart, funny, and inquisitive. I had a great time and wish we could have had a full day together.
Went home and collapsed.
Thursday:
Woke up and again tried to make myself look presentable. Josh went to drop off the kids and I drove to meet Josh so we could go downtown together but I could have my car later. Decided halfway into the trip that I needed to pee. Decided 3/4th of the way into the trip that I needed to pee so badly that I would not reach Josh with dry underpants. Pulled off in park and peed in a port-a-potty. Tried to look as if it were normal to stop by a park in business attire without a child and pee in said port-a-potty.
No pictures, thankfully.
Got downtown to Advocacy late. Met up with my fellow Marylanders. Felt like the weakest link in our group which included fellow bloggers, Body Diaries by Lucy, Two is a Family, and My Nest, Someone Else’s Eggs (which are not the people featured below).
Ran by Julie’s table to say, “hey, I’m feeding you tonight.” And then swung back in the room when I found out Marisa was there! Could not have been more excited to meet her face-to-face after watching her inject videos numerous times. It was pretty damn emotional to get to hug her.
I’m not sure I can sum up how it feels to enter the Senate office buildings. Well, I can start here: there is an entirely different vibe in the air right now than there was for the last few years. It’s not just because I’m happier with government. It was just a remarkable (as in, everyone was remarking on it) difference from the way people smiled at you in the hallway to the feeling that you belonged in that space–that as a citizen, you have a right to ask your elected officials to help you.
Our first appointment was at Ben Cardin’s office. We met solely with staffers. My first meeting was definitely my best meeting. I felt like the staffer heard us and we articulated the message well. I tagged along to Barbara Mikulski’s office just because I love her and wanted to soak up the vibes of being near her even if she wasn’t in the room.
I met with the staff for a congressman from New Jersey as well as Donna Edwards. All in all, it was an incredibly powerful, emotional day. Thank you, Resolve, for organizing it.
Jumped on the Metro and headed to pick up the kids, sitting next to a very chatty teenager who wanted to tell me the story of her trip to Washington for about 12 stops. Doesn’t notice that I am merely nodding at her with a glazed expression on my face. Got off, grabbed the kids, raced home, gave them a meal while I cooked, tucked them in, and then went downstairs to collapse for five minutes before Julie came.
Meal: Salad. Pasta with kalamata olives and fresh mozzarella. Pizza di Patate. Chocolate chip cookies. Conversation: salty, fizzy, sweet, and surprising.
Josh learned a new word from Julie: anhedonia–which is the inability to derive pleasure from pleasurable things.
Julie tried to steal my plates. My beautiful plates given to us by Josh’s grandparents. It has since been a week so I can’t remember why we took this picture or why we thought it was funny…but it was…at the time. And we hadn’t even cracked open the bottle of wine she brought. So this is life…sober.
It was wonderful to get time again with Julie, but like last time, it was just too damn short. She is the type of house guest who would not smell like rotted fish after three days (or however that saying goes). In fact, I am quite sure that if you kept giving me liquid and food, I could have sat there indefinitely (oh…and I guess a little sleep). She is just fascinating and funny and exactly like a human version of her blog.
These pictures made me realize that I am so freakin’ short. After dinner, Josh drove her back to the Metro, but she missed the last train so he took her into Bethesda. In the meantime, I did a frantic clean-up and load of laundry because the next day, we left for Vampire Weekend at the beach.
The rest of the stories and pictures coming tomorrow…
July 6, 2009 21 Comments
Languid
July 5, 2009 28 Comments
Friday Blog Roundup
Remember back a few weeks ago when I asked about Twilight? So we rented the movie because it felt like a low-stakes commitment to the franchise. I cleaned up the blogroll while we watched, glancing up at the screen from time to time, mostly to comment to Josh that even after nine years together, a marriage contract, a house, two children, and a shared love of the beach, I would divorce him in a heartbeat if he told me that he thought constantly about draining all of my blood. I just couldn’t believe that Bella would stick around and start a relationship with someone who told her that while they didn’t want to kill her, it was a very real possibility. You know…due to that whole “I’m a vampire” thing.
We turned it off, laughing at the movie. At least I didn’t have to read the books.
I was so damn wrong.
Even though I didn’t like the movie and had barely paid attention to it, I wanted to see it again. So we brought it with us for Vampire Beach Week (named mostly because we were dragging along Buffy episodes and it sounded good to have a theme to our week). And I was more serious about it than being alone in a clearing with a vampire. I watched it with the laptop closed.
So I started to read the first book. And it’s awful–it is truly some of the worst writing I’ve ever read. There should be a drinking game invented (for those who enjoy books and alcohol together) where you have to do a shot every time she uses the word “glare.” All they do is glare at each other. A few pages into the book and I started to scream, “does she not understand the concept of show don’t tell?”
And yet, when the Wolvog announced during a car ride that he needed to pee and Josh pulled over to a Dunkin Donuts, I yanked out the book and crammed in three pages during the break. I cannot put it down and it’s awful. I mean, it’s not awful that I can’t put it down. The book is awful. And I can’t put it down.
I’m not sure if I really like the book or if I’ve been told to like the book so I like the book. I am fairly certain that I honestly like Harry Potter–not because I was told by society to like it, but because the series was actually good and I personally liked it–and I use my dislike of Titanic as a barometer. The rest of America loved it, but I didn’t. So I am capable of disliking things that others like.
I feel that my obsession (and it really is an obsession when you yank out the book to read three pages during someone else’s pee break) is a lot like Bella’s relationship with Edward. It is quite clear that it’s not a healthy relationship from the get-go, sort of akin to striking up a penpal exchange with a serial killer that has just been released from prison.
And it’s quite clear that the writing and storyline in these books suck–Bella is unlikable (what the hell is up with all the falling? She doesn’t sound clumsy–she sounds like she has a condition that requires treatment. Clumsy is mentioning once or twice that she trips. Condition is the page after page descriptions of how she seemingly can’t walk across a room and remain upright). She doesn’t know why Edward likes her and the reader doesn’t know why Edward likes her. Because she certainly doesn’t seem like something special.
And yet, just like Edward can’t resist vanilla-pudding Bella, I cannot resist these terrible books.
It is an attraction that defies logic, defies explanation, defies good sense. They are so clearly bad, and yet, I cannot stop. In fact, I am using an old birthday gift certificate to buy my own copy today. What the fuck is wrong with me?
And I would love all of you to come even though I know a large portion of you are not in the DC Metro area. But if you are, the details are
Place: Politics and Prose
Date: July 12th
Time: 1 p.m.
The most enticing reason to come is that P&P told me that I’m allowed to bring cookies. I’ve never been to a book reading with cookies and I’ve always felt that cookies were the missing piece. So I am bringing my Tom Waits and my chocolate chip cookies and whatever else strikes my fancy right before the event. So come for the book reading, but stay for the cookies. Or come for the cookies, but have to endure an hour of hearing about my reproductive organs. Or come for the cookies only and hang out in the fiction section for the reading and pretend you loved my book. All possibilities work.
Please let me know if you are planning to be there. And if you can’t be there because you don’t live anywhere near DC but know people in the area, forward the information on to them. Pictures and possibly even video from the event coming soon.
The only thing missing is the stamp collecting.
I am about 3/4th of the way though the book (sidetracked by that damned Twilight series!) and it is brilliant. It is such an interesting exploration for the ways we view our bodies and how it seeps into other areas of life. What motivates us and what can’t. It is not about infertility–it is about weight loss–but as I read it, I couldn’t help but rewrite some of the passages from the frame of infertility and how it makes me feel about my own body.
I think it will be a fantastic discussion and I encourage everyone to join along because there is a long reading period for the book (come on, you know you were looking for something to take to the beach) and Stephanie is joining along and is open to answering questions. Read the instructions in the post on how to sign up.
Bagmomma had a post this week called “The Monster in the Closet” about coming to the end of the line. It begins with a terrible dream she had that she recalls vividly (and she places you right there inside her head) and ends with this thought: “It’s the monster in the closet, behind the door I don’t dare open. What is to become of me when I have to turn that doorknob? It’s almost like being told you are going to die, but instead of not knowing when.. you have a date. Because very soon …I will know.” It is an incredible post, full of emotion, and I cannot get her dream out of my head. And honestly, I feel like she needs to submit this somewhere–the BlogHer community keynote next year, a magazine…somewhere. Because it is an amazing piece of writing.
Our Journey to Parenthood (and Hopefully Beyond) had a post that also began with a dream. Except that this post was the exact opposite–not a manifestation of worry, but a manifestation of hope. Though she asks an excellent question: “Why do I, who wants children more than anything else in the world and thinks about it throughout the day, have to be haunted by it at night as well?” It continues into a question of the timing of life; why things happen. And it simply struck a chord with me.
The Great Big If had a post looking back on the same date a year earlier. It is not just the difference of loss vs. pregnancy, it is the difference between being alone vs. being part of a community. She tells the story of being uninvited to a party due to her loss and juxtaposes it with this upcoming Fourth of July: “At this time last year, I had never read an ALI blog. I had never met someone who had openly battled infertility or loss and I had never stepped foot into an infertility support group. I was alone, in every sense of the word. As I celebrate the 4th this year with two of my new IF friends, I feel anything but alone.” It is a post that made me smile.
Lastly, Becoming Whole had a post on the additional meaning infused in relationships and objects. I couldn’t help but think of my own location casualties as I read the post; places I never want to return to because they are so deeply seeped in infertility. She is writing about her marriage and explains: “When you’ve made another person’s needs and wants the center of your universe for so long, a lot of material things end up taking on additional significance, as they can seem like the key to domestic tranquility.” It is about taking back something that reminds her of her ex, but also had the potential to bring about comfort (albeit painful comfort). A beautiful, empowering post.
The roundup to the Roundup: Twilight is awful, but I can’t stop reading it and giving Stephenie Meyer all my money. Answer the Weekly What If. Come see me at Politics and Prose and spread word. Join along for the next book club selection. And, of course, many good blogs to read. Oh, and if you missed it because it was added late, Josh joined us for the Navigating the Land of If book tour.
Happy Fourth of July if you are living in the US (or are US-born). I will eat a popsicle for you. And I am almost finished uploading all of my photos and writing about last week–you know, Advocacy Day, meeting Cassandra, eating dinner with Julie, and stripping in rest rooms of kosher restaurants. You know, average week.
July 3, 2009 42 Comments
Marching with the Barren Bitches Book Brigade–Tour Twenty
Here is the master list for the twentieth tour of the Barren Bitches Book Brigade. What is the Barren Bitches Book Brigade? It’s a book club from the comfort of your own living room. The book club is conducted entirely online and open to anyone (male or female) in the infertility/pregnancy loss/assisted conception/adoption/parenting-after-infertility world (as well as any other related category I inadvertently left off the list). It is called a book tour because everyone reads the same book and then poses a question to the group. Participants choose a few questions to answer and then post their response on their blog. Readers can jump from blog to blog, commenting along the way. We read both fiction and non-fiction.
Anyone can jump aboard–it’s a book club where you can drop in and out as you wish and all in the community are welcome.
Book: Moose* (with author participation)
Author: Stephanie Klein
Start Date: June 30
Question Due: August 12
Question List Sent Out: August 14
Post Date: August 17
(need an explanation of how a book tour works? Click here to go to a list of posts on the past book tours as well as information about future tours.)
Something New: the participants on this tour will choose the next book.
About Moose: Described as a “grown up version of Judy Blume’s Blubber, Moose is a memoir written by the ever-funny Stephanie Klein (of Greek Tragedy fame). It chronicles her stay at a fat camp, and while this book is not infertility-related, it is body-related and I think it will lend itself to a very interesting discussion on how we find the motivation for the next cycle as well as how we view our bodies. It is literally the perfect book for the beach–funny, sweet, sometimes sad, and very very readable.
Barren Bitches Book Brigade List (The blogs below are participating on this current book tour. On August 17, you’ll be able to jump from post to post to read a plethora of opinions and thoughts on Moose. I will keep adding to this list until 11 p.m. on August 12th. The list is currently open)
Stirrup Queens and Sperm Palace Jesters
Weebles Wobblog
Baby Smiling in Back Seat
The Road Less Travelled
Hello, My Name is M…and I’m Infertile
The Dragondreamer’s Lair
Baby Making Journey
All Things Deb
Trying for a Baby
Not on the list and want to join? Drop me an email at thetowncriers@gmail.com. You can add yourself up until 11 p.m. on August 12th.
How the book tour works:
(1) leave a comment or send me an email (thetowncriers@gmail.com) saying that you’re interested in participating. I need your blog name, blog url, and email address.
(2) read Moose by August 12 (or at least enough of it in order to ask a question to the group).
(3) create a single question that would kick off a discussion (in other words, any question that leads to more than a “yes” or “no” answer where someone can express their opinion) and mail it to me on August 12 (or any time beforehand). I will send you a reminder email close to the date. Click here to see sample questions from tour #4. This is also the time to send a question if you have one for Stephanie because she is participating and open to answering our questions. I will compile them and forward them to her on the 14th.
(4) on August 14, I will send you a list of possible questions. Everyone will choose 3 questions off the list and answer them in a blog entry.
(5) on August 17, people will begin to post their entry. I will post a linked list of all the people putting up their entry that day so people can go around and read the entries and comment (start a discussion back and forth in the comments section). Reading the entries and commenting on the posts is the best part of the tour–by the end of the week, you should have a comment from every participant (and maybe even a few new permanent blog readers).
July 2, 2009 1 Comment
