Final week to participate in BlogHer’s $100 gift card sweepstakes over here.  All you need to do is click over, read my blatherings, and then answer the question to be entered.

Welcome back to your Do-it-Yourself MFA program.

Your fiction manuscript is complete or your non-fiction proposal is done.  Now, you need to find an agent.

I think it’s really important to understand what an agent does and why you need one before we talk about how to get one.  Because the first bit of information will inform the second bit of information.

You’re going to work with a lot of people as you publish your book–your editor, publisher, copyeditor, designer, publicist–but the only one who always has your back and is always on your side is your agent.  They are always looking out for you, guiding you, and helping you make good decisions.  An agent may take a percentage of your profits, but they will also usually get you more money (and protect your rights) than you could get on your own, so losing 15% of $10,000 is much better than getting to keep all of $500.

Here’s the point of an agent: the big six publishing houses and many of the smaller, independent presses, will not accept unsolicited manuscripts or queries (meaning, they didn’t ask for them) because in order to run their business, they can’t also field the requests of millions of writers all clamouring to get their book published.  But it’s easy for a publisher to keep a relationship with several hundred agents (rather than several million people) and have them act as the gateway, separating the wheat from the chaff for them.  If an agent is representing your project, they are essentially vouching for your writing abilities.

And it’s not just the filter affect: most publishers do not want to deal directly with authors.  They want to work with someone who understands the industry and so much of the initial contact is in negotiations and contracts.  A publisher does not want to negotiate directly with an author and wants that middle person so they can frankly define the relationship.  In other words, publishers want someone they can actually talk to and that person will be your agent.

That relationship with publishers is why an agent can’t just take on anything (an explanation if you know an agent personally and are frustrated that they’re hemming and hawing when it comes to your project).  They only make money if they sell a project, so their reputation is on the line.  If they keep bringing things to a publisher that would never fit their list, they will damage their own reputation and that publisher will cease to work with them in the future.  Agents take those relationships seriously and they will only pitch to a publisher if they think it’s a good fit for that publisher.

Each agent has focused on building relationships based on what sort of project excites them.  One agent I know has made a living representing a ton of vampire romance books.  If you’re writing one, she is the person to have represent your book because she rocks at selling those.  But while she has a few other types of books on her list, she wouldn’t be a great person to represent a sports title.

Which is why, when we get to the next installment of your DIY MFA, we are going to work on finding the best agents for your project.  Because it matters.  Just because someone is an agent doesn’t mean that they are going to be able to represent your project.

Agents also need to diversify their list while making those strong connections with publishers (agents, frankly, sound like they have an exhausting job, so thank your agent profusely once you get one).  Think of it like the stock market.  If they only represent vampire romance novels and the general public stops buying vampire romance novels, they’re screwed.  So they diversify by taking on similar, yet different types of books.  That same agent may do well to represent other types of romances, or other types of genre fiction–thrillers, mysteries, etc.

At the same time, publishers are making those types of diversified investments too: they are building a focused list while being flexible to go with the market.  So there are two layers of investing that is taking place–an agent needs to see your project worth their time AND a publisher needs to see your project as adding to their list.  Agents (and publishers) are essentially making an investment in you.  Agents are investing time with the pay-off being money and publishers are investing money with the payoff being that they make money by investing money (more on that when we get to publishers).

If agents make no money off of you, their investment has kept them from other investments.  So they pick carefully.  They are also looking at the long-term.  Once you sign with an agent, they are representing your future projects.  They don’t want to keep finding new clients; they want their current clients to keep producing new books.  So show them that you’re also looking at this as a long-term relationship, something worth making an investment on with long-term gains.

Last thoughts, an agent represents you–they are your voice out there in the world of publishing.  Make sure you understand that because it should be your guide in picking an agent that will work well with you.  Who will have a lot of connections and do well by your book.  After all, you take the time to surround yourself with friends who support you; you should think of your agent in the same way–they should be excited about your project and have your back.  A good agent is worth their weight in gold.

Okay class, any questions on what was discussed here? Please leave them in the comment section below and I will answer them in the comment section below. Keep in mind that I have a lot of topics to cover so your question may be answered in a future installment (see below). So keep your questions about what agents do and next time, we’ll talk about how to get an agent.

Heads Up and Looking Back: topics that will be covered in future installments or that were covered in past installments

1. Before You Even Get Started

2. Are You Ready to Be an Author?

3. How to Write a Non-Fiction Book Proposal

4. THIS POST

5. How to Find and Sign with a Reputable Agent

6. Querying Agents

7. What Happens Next–Waiting for a Book Sale

8. No Agent? Other Paths to Publication

9. What to Expect After You Sign a Book Deal

10. Be Your Own Publicist

11. A Mishmash of Leftover Questions and Answers

So, now that we are about to pass into July, this is the annual Who-Is-Going-to-BlogHer-from-the-ALI-Community list.  If you’re going, let me know in the comment section below and I’ll compile a list.  Yes, I still want to have an ALI get together while we’re all up there since it sounds like a lot of people will be able to drive into NY for the day even if they’re not going to the conference.  So I need those people who live in the area to leave a note too.

To simplify: if you are going or are in the area, write your blog name (and url) in a comment with either (BlogHer) or (area) in parentheses after your blog name so we can get a sense of who will be there.  Write (BlogHer) if you will be at the conference and write (area) if you will not, but are willing to drive in on Sunday morning.

The list will be added to constantly and can be found right here (plus, there is a link under On-Going Projects).

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I have been away on holiday, and got back last night.  It’s a hard landing into reality and I don’t really want to be home.  I feel very out-of-sorts and it’s always hard to play catch-up after being away.  I apologize if you’ve sent me an email this week.  I’m getting around to answering them this weekend.

Thank you for the blogoversary wishes.  Today is my actual blogoversary–the 25th.  Four years feels like quite the milestone.

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The video store in town is closing, a sad fact following on the heels of JJ’s recent post about the difference between Netflix and actually perusing a video store.  My high school job was at a video store which I loved because I could rent movies for free.  The original video store has since been converted into a fish market and a new one by different owners has popped up around the corner, though I fear that store is also not long for this world.

Apropos of nothing except for a desperate need to tell this story, there was a man who came in every single day I worked.  I need to repeat that–I saw him every single time I worked.  Every morning, he would come in right when the store opened and rent three porn videos.  We had a binder on the counter that had the box top in a sleeve and you could flip through the video choices and then tell the clerk the number for the video.  Most men would quietly mutter their choice, “1984, please” but Mr. D would flick through the book as if he already had it memorized (which he probably did) and then call out to one of us, “let me have 1887, 2034, and 1651–is that a good one?  I can’t even remember anymore.”

But that’s not even the remarkable part.  Every single day, he also returned at noon and returned one movie and checked out one more.  Why the hell did he do this?  Why didn’t he just check out four in the morning and return four the next day?  He always came in, checked out three, brought back one midday, checked out one more, and then returned three the next morning.

We all were dying to know why he came back–even when it was all guys working, he did the same thing–but none of us had the ovaries to ask him.

Poor Mr. D.  I’ve always wondered how the advent of Internet porn changed his morning (and midday) rituals.

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The Weekly What If: what if you could spend the day within Disney World with any Disney character (the real deal–not a person in a costume).  Who would it be and what would you do?

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I am still participating in Crystal Light’s Pure Fitness Challenge and I’m giving away a $100 gift card on my review blog.  Read and leave a comment to enter.

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And now, the blogs…

Circus Children has a post about Midsummer and celebrating it as a child.  I love the idea of picking seven flowers and trying to predict your future partner.  And this line made me smile: “I may never have dreamt about who my husband would be, but every day I wake up next to him I know he’s The One. ”  It’s a lovely post about a holiday I knew little about.

Hope Springs Eternal has a very moving post about a counseling session she had with her husband and the different way they process the idea of having prior information about their infertility.  She writes, “I’m glad that we didn’t know, because I’m glad every day that I gave him a chance, I’m glad every day that I fell in love with him, and I’m glad every day that he felt the same way.  I am thankful every day that he loves me.  I don’t know that I tell him that enough.”  Her post is brutally honest and reflective and it creates an interesting what if in the mind about how knowing the future has the possibility to lead you away from wonderful things.

Lil Family Blog has a brief and sweet post about how we choose our family.  It is more that blood and legal contracts.  It is “familiarity, intimacy, love, forgiveness, and respect.”  Go over and add what you have learned about family.

Lastly, Tales from the Rat Race has a lovely twist on her own desire for parenthood.  Stronger than her need to be a mother is her wish that she could make her husband a father.  The post, coming on Father’s Day weekend, is about looking ahead and trying to hold onto hope.

The roundup to the Roundup: add yourself to the list if you are attending BlogHer this summer or will be close enough to the area for a get together.  I’ve been away, but now I’m back and it’s my Blogoversary.  What was up with Porn Man?  Answer the Weekly What If.  Still doing the Crystal Light Challenge.  And lots of great posts to read.

Four years ago, Josh told me to find a new outlet for the feelings I was sharing with him (always beginning at 11 p.m.) and a blog was born.

It is my four-year blogoversary.

I usually like to take this post to reflect on the year and look ahead.  In the early years, the growth and change was remarkable, with dozens of new projects popping up monthly.  Now, the blog is more like a four-year-old–still learning and moving forward, but more consistent.  It sleeps from 7 a.m. to 7 p.m.  It has mastered the toilet.  By which I mean that we’re nearing the 300th Roundup and I’m still writing a response every time Salon tackles the topic of infertility.

Two years ago, I started giving each year a single word to use as a goal. The overall word defining my blog is “community.” But then each year received a word that defined the overarching theme for the year:

• Year One: Connections
• Year Two: Action
• Year Three: Listening
• Year Four: Tune

You can read the lengthy description of how I interpreted “tune,” but at its core, I stated, “delurking is more for the writer to know who is reading her blog than it is for the silent person to speak their mind. So my point is not to get people delurking. My point is to get more points-of-view heard.”  And hopefully I did that, perhaps not on the grandest level, but in a minute way.

I then usually give one more word, looking ahead, to help focus me during the upcoming year.  And this year, my word is “own.”

This will be my first full year of self-hosting, so that obviously plays into the word “own,” but the idea is much larger than that.  I think we need to own our words, own our actions, both when we’re proud of them and when we’re remorseful.  I think we need to own our place in community–look at which niche of the ALI community we’re standing in and look at ways to improve our interactions with fellow bloggers.  I think those crazy kids in Rent were on to something when they implied the difference between renting and owning in their opening number.

I feel like this fourth year, I am more rooted, this blog feels sturdier.  The stability affords me the ability to take chances.  Expect more visual mediums this year such as photograph and video since I now own the equipment.  And expect that very little will change.  The Creme de la Creme will roll around again next winter, the Roundup will continue to be posted on Fridays, and I will continue to try to convince you that there is nothing wrong with 70-year-olds having babies.

I need to thank two entities: my blog and you.

To my blog, thank you for being here for four years.  You are my white space, my blank canvas, the receptacle for my ideas.  You have given me my work and my friends.  You have given me opportunities I never thought would be mine to have.  I love you, little blog.

To you, thank you for listening to me.  Thank you for wiping my virtual tears.  Thank you for allowing me to blow my nose on your virtual sleeve.  Thank you for laughing at my jokes (even if you were just pitying me and it was a fake laugh).  Thank you for linking to me and participating in my projects and for reading me and for hugging me when we meet in the face-to-face world.  I get very teary when I talk about the friends I have made through my blog because just as I never imagined the opportunities that would come my way from writing in this space, I never knew that I would meet such a diverse, interesting, beautiful, wonderful group of people.  Thank you for being here, for reaching out, for hugging back.  As I have said before, “A good hug is like finding an unopened pack of m&ms in your purse right before a movie begins.”  And you guys are the m&ms in the purse.

A few weeks ago, Kristin wrote about this underwater restaurant in the Maldives on her blog.  We’re obviously in a fishy sort of place right now, spending a lot of time this summer at the aquarium.  There is something about the quiet of sitting underwater that is appealing to me right now.

My friend posted this video on Facebook and since watching it, I can’t get it out of my head.  I’m not sure why it got so deeply under my skin.

It’s terrifying to watch someone falling into that darkness, even if it is only camera tricks and artistic license.  It is beyond beautiful to watch a person take that sort of plunge.

Can we pretend the bar is underwater right now?  That sting rays are floating past the windows and starfish have glommed onto the glass?

As always, it has been about a month since we met, bitched, cried, comforted, and caught up each other on our cycles and lives. Pull up a seat and I’ll pour you a drink. Let everyone know what is happening in your life. The good, the bad, the ugly. My only request is that if a story catches your eye, you follow it back to the person’s blog and start reading their posts. Give some love, give some support, or laugh with someone until your drink comes out of your nose.

I have a ton of assvice in my back pocket and as a virtual bartender, I will give it to you unless you specifically tell me that this is simply a vent and you do not want to receive anything more than a hug.

So if you have been a lurker for a while (or if this is your first open bar), sit down and tell us about yourself. Remember to provide a link or a way for people to continue reading your story (or if you don’t have a blog–gasp!–you can always leave an email address if you’re looking for advice or support. If not, people can leave messages for that person here in the comments section too). If you’re a regular at the bar, I’ll get out your engraved martini glass while you make yourself comfortable. And anyone new, welcome. I’m glad you found this virtual bar.

For those who have no clue what I’m talking about when I say that the bar is open, click here to catch up and then jump into the conversation back on this current post.

So have an imaginary cocktail and tell us what is up with your life.