I read about this movement to create tiny honour-system libraries on people’s front lawns.  Nothing more to say about it except that I am seriously considering creating one.

*******

Babble rounded up a list of the top 50 ugliest names according to Twitter.  By which I mean, the people who utilize Twitter.  I clicked over to see if my name was on the list, and then immediately asked myself why the hell I would care.  Why would it even be interesting as to what you think is an ugly name (that would be the collective, disembodied “you”)?  Even if you thought that my name was the ugliest name in the world, there isn’t anything I’m going to do about it.  If the twins names had been on the list, they still would have been their names.  And if the name we’ve already chosen for a third child was on the list, I would have still used it.

The opinions of people I know carry some weight, but that disembodied “you” of the Internet?  That you’s opinion doesn’t mean a lot to me.

But still, I saw a few friend’s names on that list, and part of me felt like I should write them a note today.  Let them know I do like their name.

Rather than tell you the names I don’t like — because how shitty would you feel if I said your name — I’m going to tell you the names I do like that we can never use.  This is actually a helpful practice because you may hear a name that you (1) didn’t know prior to this point or (2) hadn’t considered.

I like talking about things I like.

So names I like the sound of: Prudence, Jesse, Ramona, Tabitha, Jakob, and Henry (Josh nixed this one by saying in the most incredulous voice, “Henry Ford?  Henry Ford, Melissa?”).

What names do you like the sound of, even if you’d never use them?

*******

There was a winner for the mishloach manot giveaway.  Random number generator spat out #162: Kristin!  So sugary love is on its way to you.

And thank you to everyone who participated and spread love across the Internet this week in the form of comments.  So much more fun than your usual giveaway.

*******

And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week as well as the week before.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Adoptees Place in Both Families” (Insert Bad Movie Title Here)
• “Flattened” (Too Many Fish to Fry)
• “How to Help a Friend” (Eggs in a Row)
• “Left Behind” (Where Love and Chaos Reigns)
• “There Goes My Baby” (Mrs. Spit… Still Spouting Off)
• “Meaning” (Mommy Odyssey)
• “More on the Adoption Tax Credit” (From IF to When)
• “To Be Alive” (She Laughs at the Days)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Miss Conception has a post about marking her twins’ birthday.  She sets up candles and flowers that they can look at in remembrance, she makes gifts in their name to several organizations dealing with infertility and loss.  She writes, “I haven’t done much crying today yet, but I’m sure there are a few tears yet to come. I feel so much love in my heart for those little spirits. I have been smiling as I think of them and have given myself permission to open their nursery door and go inside. Maybe I’ll sit in the glider-chair with their bears before bed and talk to them for a few minutes.”  It is a post not about loss but about being in love.

The Elusive Second Line has a post about a recurring dream she has about the same little boy.  He changes in age, his features transform, but he is always her little boy.  For a while, the dreams stopped and she missed him, but then suddenly they came back.  These dreams which bring her such happiness when they occur are also the thing that is stopping her from being able to move forward with adoption, planting a “what if” in her brain: “Maybe this is why I’ve never completely embraced the idea of adoption. I want to embrace it. I want to go into it head first and never look back. It seems like it would take away a lot of stress from my life because in the end (even though it is not an easy path) there is a baby in my arms. With the current situation I can’t necessarily say the same. But if we do adopt we will adopt trans-racial. That is something I want to do. But then…it won’t be him.”

Fearlessly Infertile has a very honest post about contemplating stopping family building.  When weighed against all they are giving up in order to become parents as well as the peace they’ve felt during this time period where little is happening in terms of forward motion, she has realized that the desire to become parents has become a want more than a need.  I just love the openness of this post, especially her final thought: “Brandon and I have no doubt in our hearts that we would make good parents. We would love our child unconditionally. But sometimes because we question the process (especially the cost of the process) we feel like we don’t deserve that opportunity.”

Lastly, Three is a Magic Number has a post about compassion fatigue.  She defines it: “It’s a common phenomenon amongst those whose professions surround trauma, like social workers and first responders and the like. You can’t deal with that kind of shit without getting some of it on you. That’s called secondary trauma. You might assume that secondary means that this brand of trauma is of  a lesser degree, but that’s not what it means. It’s  just as disintegrating and damaging and demoralizing. It just didn’t happen directly to you.”  This post is brilliant because she deconstructs the difference between therapist and blog reader, namely, the walls we build vs. the walls we deliberately dissolve.  I really feel this is one of those posts that everyone needs to drop what they’re doing and run over to read.  Immediately.

The roundup to the Roundup: Tiny libraries are so cool.  What are your favourite names?  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between February 24th and March 2nd) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

Welcome back to IComLeavWe. It stands for International Comment Leaving Week, but if you say it aloud, doesn’t it sounds like “I come; [but] leave [as a] we”? And that’s sort of the point. Blogging is a conversation and comments should be honoured and encouraged. I like to say that comments are the new hug–a way of saying hello, giving comfort, leaving congratulations.

Here is the vital information, pure and simple (a more detailed set of rules follows below the list):

• The list opens the 1st of every month. It remains open until the 21st. You can add yourself at any point. The list is open to everyone in the blogosphere–blog writers and/or blog readers.
• Add yourself to the list by filling out this form: The list is now closed.  The April list will open 3/29
  
• Click here to cut-and-paste this bit of code to add to your sidebar (if you have the old code from another month, remove it and replace it with this one). You need to add the icon or a link to the current list on your blog (see below) and will not be added until it’s up.
• Commenting kicks off every month on the 21st. Please mark it somewhere (calendar, post-it note taped to your computer…), though I will be sending out an email reminder on the 20th. Commenting week runs from the 21st to the 28th. Every day, leave 5 comments and return 1 comment for a total of 6 comments. You are highly encouraged to choose the blogs you comment on from the participants list below, but this is not required.
• I will send a second email on the 28th to remind you to remove the icon from your blog.
• Read below if you want to find out about Iron Commenters.
• The commenting ends on the 28th. We catch our breath and the whole thing starts again the next month on the 1st. Drop in and out according to what is happening in your life between the 21st and the 28th.

1. Stirrup Queens (twins, books, writing)
2. Lessons from an Infertile Social Worker (transracial open adotion)
3. The Quest For Little Lambies (fertility,spirituality,interventions)
4. Donating Hope (egg donor, SIF, divorce)
5. My Bum Ovaries (premature ovarian failure)
6. Bereaved and Blessed (parenting, secondary infertility, loss)
7. For We Are Bound by Symmetry (fet #2, ttc #1, loss)
8. Meier Madness (pcos, fet, crazay-zy)
9. BattleFish (pregnant after ivf w/#1, life)
10. If You Don’t Stand For Something (male factor, life, ramblings)
11. In Due Time (life, infertility, miscarriage)
12. Where Do We Go From Here? (infertility, depression, life)
13. Our Growing Gardunn (undiagnosed secondary RPL, infertility, septum removal)
14. Our Pathway to Parenthood (infertility, mfi, septate uterus)
15. Baby-Making Merry-go-Round (infertility, IVF, emotions)
16. Life and Love in the Petri Dish (pregnancy #7 or miscarriage #7? Too early to call…)
17. It Is What It Is (Or Is It?) (ttc#2, donated embryos, adult adoptee)
18. Navigating Cyberloss (grief, cyberloss, recovery)
19. Life in the Last Frontier (open adoption, parenting, infertility)
20. Infertile First Mom ((secondary) infertility, birthmotherhood, IVF)
21. Baby On Mind (infertility, IVF, adoption?)
22. I’m Polycystic Inside (pregnant, twins, omg)
23. Bread of Baby? (infertility, low carb, health)
24. Que Sera Sera (long-term infertility, teaching, emotions)
25. Hobbit-ish Thoughts & Ramblings (parenting after if/rpl, expecting #2, life)
26. Dragondreamer’s Lair (parenting, secondary infertility, crafts)
27. Notes from the Ninth Circle (PGD, IVF, insurance)
28. Feeling Beachie (life, humor, family)
29. The Pussy Palace (trying to conceive)
30. Dwelling on dreams (miscarriage, rpl, childless)
31. The Stork Drop Zone (parenting, infertility, hobbies)
32. No Baby Ruth (parenting at 9 months, pcos, Spain)
33. The Infertility Voice (infertility, empowerment, donor egg)
34. CD1 Again (infertility, step parenting, starting treatments again)
35. The Long Way Around (PCOS, recurrent miscarriage, infertility)
36. Writing for Life (life after loss, infertility, uk)
37. Mommy Odyssey (RPL, stillbirth, hope!)
38. The Cornfed Feminist (pcos, oversharing, pregnant)
39. Cease and Decyst (pcos, anovulation, irreverence)
40. A Miracle in the Works (pregnant with #1 after a loss)
41. Tiny Bits of Hope (infertility, teaching, life)
42. Pregnancy 101 (infertility, anovulation, clomid)
43. I’m Just Ducky, Thanks (surrogacy, adoption, RPL)
44. These Fragments I Love (pregnancy after RPL, grief, faith)
45. MoJo Working (infertility, TTC 10+ years, FET)
46. Glitter & Rainbows (infertility, public adoption)
47. Believing in June (ttc #2, ivf, marriage)
48. Waiting For Little Feet (IVF, PCOS, irony)
49. The Redhead Files (infertility, RPL, endometriosis)
50. Bébé Suisse (miscarriage, ttc again, switzerland)
51. Schell Family Blog (parenting twins after ivf)
52. An Engineer Becomes a Mom (adoption, infertility, relationships)
53. Bring on the Babies… (pregnancy, IVF, recurrent loss)
54. Syringe Sisters (ttc #1, fet, ramblings)
55. Life As I Know It (twins, parenting, life)
56. Inconceivable! (fet, infertility, ttc)
57. Wistfulgirl’s World (foster-to-adopt, infertility, life)
58. Our New Normal (adoption, weight loss)
59. Our Long Awaited Spud (parenting, unicornuate uterus, cloth diapering)
60. Outlandish Notions (parenting after IF, finding balance, feminism)
61. The Elusive Second Line (TTC #1, PCOS, depression)
62. Turn Around (thank you, sign off)
63. Searching for the Missing Piece (domestic adoption, RPL, life)
64. It’s Gonna Happen (infertility, ivf, fet)
65. Hope in times of uncertainty (icsi ivf, faith, pregnancy)
66. Creating a Family (infertility, adoption, parenting)
67. Lori Does Maryland (pal, ivf, parenting)
68. 3 Bed, 2 Bath, 1 Baby (parenting, humor, snark)
69. Mare Just Beginning (pcos, injectibles, parenting)
70. Adventures in Babywaiting (motherhood, IVF, ttc #2)
71. Whitney & Erick (surrogacy, IVF, RPL)
72. TheStorkDiaries (TTC 2 years, mid 30’s, IUI)
73. I’m Very Far Away (infertility, asia, failed treatment)
74. A little blog about the big infertility… And adoption too! (endometriosis, RPL, domestic adoption)
75. Waiting, Wishing, Hoping (life, pregnancy, infertility)
76. (In)fertility Unexplained (unexplained infertility, IVF)
77. Palm Trees & Rainy Days (ivf, pcos, childless)
78. The 2 Week Wait (infertility humor newborn)
79. Marriage 2.0 (adoption, infertility, waiting)
80. Life is Simple, It’s Just Not Easy (fet #1, post cancer, life)
81. The Perpetual Aunt (azoospermia, pcos, hcg injection)
82. Cotton Bottom Mama (eco-consciousness, family, crafts)
83. Searching for our silver lining (FET, life after loss, ttc#1)
84. Created Family (unexplained infertility, TCM, graduate school)
85. My Journey to Get Fit and Battle PCOS (IF, weightloss, life)
86. Waiting For Baby (pcos, military, infertility)
87. Holly’s narrative dream (life, secondary infertility, life)
88. The Handprints on my Heart (adoption, family, life)
89. Good Luck – Try Again (miscarriage, infertility, life)
90. A Woman My Age (adoption, infertility, parenting after 40)
91. The Childless Mom (ivf-icsi, fet, pregnancy #1)
92. MissConception (baby loss, FET, PCOS)
93. My Hormonacoaster (ttc 10+ years, secondary infertility, ivf#2)
94. Unruffled Lanie (infertility, IVF, home)
95. A Change of Plans (adoption, FETs, military)
96. Wanted: Family of Three (ivf, male-factor, music)
97. 3hearts2hold1love (parenting after infertility, secondary infertility, IVF with ICSI)
98. Something Out of Nothing (infertility, mfi, limbo)
99. Hapa Hopes (IVF, relationships, life)
100. Metholic’s Blog (bfp, ttc, infertility )
101. Alexander (baby after IF, joys, emotional)
102. trying to conceive (trying to conceive, if, emotional)
103. The misadventures of missohkay (adoption, pregnancy loss)
104. A Blanket 2 Keep (IUI, life, hope)
105. Infertility Unexplained (unexplained infertility, miscarriage, fet)
106. A Year On… Our New Beginning {hopefully} (stillbirth, secondary IF, IVF)
107. Traditionally Nontraditional (infertility, pregnancy, Life)
108. ErnieGirl (constant bleeding TTC#2)
109. From Gutter to Stars (new blog, therapist, infertility & adoption)
110. Carneyexploits (first IUI, pcos, life)
111. OperationBaby2012 (lesbian parenting, ttc, donor-selection)
112. GoTeamBaby (IVF, humor, hope)
113. DogMomChasingTheStork (infertility, travel, dogs)
114. Conceptionally Challenged (my life in general)
115. Hope Delayed (infertility, ivf #2, life)
116. Inconceivable! (donor egg, family, step-parenting)
117. Who Is This Fertile Myrtle (unexplained infertility ivf)
118. Our Journey (infertility pcos diabetes)
119. Our LIFE Journey (embryo adoption, FET, faith)
120. Embracing the Rain (ivf-icsi, rpl, dor)
121. The list is now closed.  The April list will open 3/29

Q: What if I miss a day?

A: Catch up the next day by doubling your comments–12 comments instead of 6.

Q: What if I have two blogs? Can I sign up twice, listing both blogs?

A: Yes, but you also need to double your comments. If you have two blogs listed, you should be leaving 12 comments per day.

Q: What is an Iron Commenter?

A: Not for the faint-of-heart. People who wish to be an Iron Commenter and be entered on the Iron Commenter honour roll need to leave a comment on every blog on the participants list (exceptions are blogs that require you to have a special log-in, such as some LiveJournal accounts or other similar situations). You can spread out this commenting any way you wish over the whole week, but the final comment needs to be left by midnight on the 28th (EST). Reaching Iron Commenter status is done on an honour system. Please email me if you earn Iron Commenter status so I can add you to the wall of honour.

Q: Why do I have to add that bit of code to my sidebar?

A: The code is the latest icon (the icon changes colour every month so you know that you’re on the right list). This month, the icon is green, the next month it will be yellow, etc. The reason is two-fold: (1) it enables more people to find out about IComLeavWe and (2) it gives you easy access to the current list once the commenting week actually begins and better ensures that you’ll use it. Too many times, people sign up and forget to actually do IComLeavWe and this icon gives you a daily reminder (with the dates on it) every time you open your own blog. The icon is linked back to the current list. On the 28th, remove the icon from your blog. A new one will be created for the next month.

Q: It’s the 23rd and I just saw this for the first time on my friend’s blog! I want to join the list–why can’t I?

A: Because IComLeavWe happens every month, once the list is closed, it’s closed. If you’re finding out about this on the 23rd, you can’t join the current month. But leave yourself a note to check back in a week on the 1st and you can sign up for the next month.

Q: You said the list closes on the 21st. Well, it’s still the 21st where I am. Why aren’t you moving my information onto the list?

A: All dates and times are U.S. Eastern Standard Time (UTC/GMT -5 hours). The list closes around 11 p.m. EST on the 21st.

Q: What if no one comments on my blog and I have no comments to return?

A: Well, that really doesn’t happen for the most part, but in that case, simply choose another blog and add an additional comment. The goal is to hit 6 comments daily as a minimum. Going over that is fantastic and encouraged.

Q: Mel, my question wasn’t covered at all. What do I do?

A: Email me; I’m quite friendly. It helps to place “IComLeavWe” in the subject line. You could also check this post which contains the history of IComLeavWe and see if you can glean anything there.

Looking for the comment section? It has been closed on this post. Use the form in the directions to add yourself to the list.

Josh’s 40th birthday was coming up, and we had nothing planned to celebrate it which was stressing me out.  Josh said he didn’t really want to do anything, but 40 seems like too big a year to mark it with a card and a kiss.  I started throwing out ideas in the car one day a few weeks ago.

“What about a dinner party with our friends.”

“Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm,” responded Josh.

“What about a trip?  We could go somewhere.  Just us or with the kids.”

“We already have travel stuff planned.”

“What about strippers?  Cupcake party at work?  Visit to an art museum?  Community service project?”

“Community service project,” Josh mused.  “That sort of sounds cool.”

I’m going to admit this because I’m not as good a person as Josh, I threw it out there not expecting it to actually pass muster (strippers was also a you-better-not-choose-it option).  But the idea gained traction and invitations were sent out.  About 40 people from various places in Josh’s life all came together to paint the hallways of a transitional housing building.  People brought their kids, taped up the moulding and door frames, painted until everyone’s hair was splattered white, ate cake and pizza, and caught up on what has been happening in each other’s lives.

There are so few times in your life that you get to spend the day with all these unrelated people you love; have them all in one space, seeing them simultaneously.  Josh’s college friend was there — the one who married us — and he brought his kids, only one of whom was alive at the time of our wedding.  She was a tiny thing, dancing at our rehearsal dinner with our niece, and now she is this amazing twelve-year-old who was painting with us.  I remember her bouncing on the bed as a toddler while we planned out the wedding, and here she was — taller than me — painting the spaces I couldn’t reach.

Josh’s best friend from childhood was there along with her daughter, who is our daughter’s best friend.  We call the two girls the Yentas, because they like to just sit around and talk.  They each took a paint roller and covered the same patch of wall for ten minutes while they stood with their heads together, chit chatting.  And then one of them would realize that they needed to move a bit, so they’d shift down a few inches and cover a new swatch of wall space for another ten minutes.  One day the two girls will be grown up with their own children, who will hopefully be friends, and they will be able to say that their grandparents were best friends and they are best friends and now they are starting another generation of friendship.

Both sets of parents were there (I have great shots of my mother teaching the Wolvog how to use an edger).  And co-workers were there.  And friends we’ve known for decades and others for short periods of times.  And about dozen kids who painted or made snack bags for a local shelter.  It turned out to be one of my favourite days ever.

Everyone working in that transitional housing building has known and loved Josh for years.  He is an easy person to love, mostly because the birthday party sums up the sort of person he is.  He has an amazingly large heart, the sort who takes notice of those in need around him and does whatever he can to pitch in.  He doesn’t stand around waiting for change to occur; he rolls up his sleeves and makes it happen.  He’s funny, creative, and literally has the best bum I’ve ever seen on a man.

Happy 40th birthday, chamoodi-ji.  May the next 40 years pass as happily as these last ones; with good friends who have your back and a paint brush, who are willing to follow you on all your good ideas.  I am the luckiest woman in the world that I get to wake up every day with you and fall asleep in your arms at night (okay, so it’s more like I lie in your arms, you fall asleep, I stay awake worrying, and then I finally fall asleep two hours later).  I love you more than I can express with words, bake into a cake, or convey with a kiss; just know that you are deeply, deeply loved.

Massive thank you to Behrend Builders for planning Josh’s birthday celebration, THC for hosting us, the residents of the building who agreeably put up with my son’s 500 “wet paint” signs, and all of our friends and family who attended and worked hard (but who I didn’t picture here because I never asked you if you wanted to be part of a mushy blog post).

I wasn’t going to comment on the WSJ article about shared risk and fertility loan programs (and I certainly wasn’t going to touch the comments that came attached to that article).  I was feeling fairly dismissive about the whole piece, and then I spent my morning yoga class in “fire-breathing dragons” (okay, I lie, I put my knee down when the teacher wasn’t looking and picked it back up again when she swung by my mat) and perhaps I really did release the emotions I’m storing in my hip joints as my teacher promised the pose would because I spent the ride home fuming about an article that I had pretty much dismissed.

There will always be people who will profit off another person’s misfortune while they simultaneously provide the solution to that person’s misfortune.  My RE is both the greatest man in the world and a thief, taking much more of my money than he probably needs (really, an average salary is $225,185 per year) while helping to make my body do what it can’t do on its own.

My RE provides a service quite similar to my ophthalmologist, who helps me work around my wonky eyesight.  I take both doctors up on their offer to give me access to medical advancements.  There is, of course, the option to not treat my poor eyesight, though I’ve never heard someone tell me that I shouldn’t wear glasses nor have surgery to treat the problem.  That there are perfectly good sight dogs out there looking for a home, and I’m being selfish to put on glasses instead of using this other option.  Mostly because we all know that it’s not true.  Sight dogs need a home, yes, but we also know that there are long waiting lists to obtain a sight dog.  It isn’t easy, it isn’t a quick fix.  It’s a different option for treating sight issues, one that may be the only feasible option for some people whereas I have a multitude of options due to the severity of my sight issues.

It’s a poor analogy because children are not glasses or sight dogs.  They are human beings with very real feelings, and parents need to be mindful of ethics in order to lessen any emotional stress on the child they’re bringing into their life.  I’m being facetious though because where the general population can wrap their mind around the difficulty and need for treating sight issues, as well as leave the decision up to the person experiencing sight issues, the topic of fertility brings out people’s judgment.

Finances definitely played a role in the choices we’ve made concerning treatments, but that is more the case this time around vs. the first time.  Just as a cancer patient would pay any amount of money possible to save their life (and the saddest part is that the line of possibility is close in for the majority of Americans, meaning that those with money can afford to do more to save their life), I was willing to pay any amount of money that was within our realm of possibility in order to become a parent.  We had to have a limit because there were loans we could have gotten that we could have never paid off.  But within reason, we were willing to pay what we needed to pay.  And yes, some would say that infertility is lifestyle threatening and not life threatening, but I would challenge those people to step into the mind of someone truly depressed after failed cycle after failed cycle and then talk to me about the hidden dangers of infertility.  For me, infertility was life threatening.

So we paid a lot of money, and we were successful so it — of course — seems worth it.  Do I wish we didn’t have to pay that money?  Of course.  But I also wish I didn’t have to pay for glasses or pay for my cholesterol medication.  No one enjoys paying health care costs.

Two weeks ago, we were driving home at night and the ChickieNob told me that someone told her that I bought her.  She wanted to know if this was true.  I’m not sure who told her this, and she refused to tell me who said it, but it lit an inferno in my hip joints, enough to provide flames to a whole army of fire-breathing dragons.

I didn’t buy my children in the same way that a cancer patient doesn’t buy their life.  I paid for services from people who had expertise in their field, and I made that money by providing services to other people because I am an expert in my field.  It’s a circle of money, one that inexplicably has judgment intrenched in it when it passes through the fertility clinic yet doesn’t have that same judgment trailing after it when it went into my pocket as a teacher or writer.

Every single person who has a child has paid money to have that child.  If they didn’t pay it to the RE, they paid it to the OB/GYN.  They paid it to the hospital.  It may have been as small as a co-pay, or it could have been several thousand dollars.  But everyone pays.  So, if someone is going to say that I bought my children, then we all bought our children.

Do doctors benefit from treating our problem — hells yeah.  I found it a little rich that it said in the article that doctors had concerns about fertility loan companies considering the enormity of doctor’s salaries, which come from the cost of treatment.  Do loan companies benefit from treating our problem — hells yeah.  Every company is trying to turn a dime on the people they service: a loan company tries to make money off my problem, my insurance company tries to make money off my good health.  And perhaps that is why I am so enraged, my fire-breathing hips releasing all these toxins onto the Internet.  Because every word of that article was wrapped in judgment like a piece of bacon around a scallop* — seeping rich fat into every sentence.  Oily, greasy, heart-clogging fat.

Was I pissed off thinking about how my RE was going home to his mansion while we ate ramen in order to afford treatments to have a child?  Yes, but I’m equally pissed at the car my ophthalmologist gets to drive just because I can’t see well.  If we’re going to report on the hidden ways the medical community benefits from patients, let’s at least be fair and show how much money medical issues generate for others across the board.  If you’re only going to target fertility treatments, you’re going to get my fire-breathing dragon words.  And rather than simply report, why aren’t we working to actually find solutions in order to make treatments affordable to all people rather than allow fertility loan programs to thrive in this manner?

*I know — what was up with a non-kosher analogy?

Yes, once again, it is time for my annual Purim giveaway (which becomes a comment lovefest).  Every spring, I put together about 36 cookie and candy boxes and send them off to friends around the country.  For six years running, I always leave a space on the list for a yet-to-be-named blogger who stands as a representative for all of you.  Believe me, if I could mail each and every one of you a box of love, I would.  But… you know… we can only afford so many containers of nutella.

So one of you it is.

The idea behind mishloach manot is to send out treats so no one is without dessert after the Purim feast. It’s a recognition that not everyone has money for extras, but everyone could use some sweetness in their life.

It is my favourite thing I do all year, and we once again have a great theme planned (past ones include “Yes, We Can(dies)!” in honour of Obama’s inauguration, the Winter Olympics, Dr. Suess, and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory), but you’ll need to win the basket to see it.

I can tell you that in the baskets thus far (and whoever wins can tailor this to their tastes/allergies):

• Chocolate and sea salt peanut butter cups
• Chocolate and sea salt nutella cups
• Hamantaschen
• My famous chocolate chip cookies
• Homemade lollipops
• Trail mix
• Chocolate bar

And whatever else I dream up between now and mailing the packages. I’m not going to be modest — people tell me that my baking and candies are fantastic and while they may be lying, they have inflated my culinary ego. This basket is going to rock. And 100% of the items are recipes of my own creation.

So this could be your year, lovely people of the Internets; it’s yours to win. Here’s what you need to do to enter the giveaway (and you can enter as many times as you like):

• Leave a comment below (yes, a box full of candy for the low low price of one comment!) telling me where you left a comment already today–and feel free to leave, write a comment somewhere, and come back. Please put the name of that blog and a link to the post in the comment. And say something nice about that person’s post. And no, commenting on this post doesn’t count for where you’ve left a comment (though my blog still counts as long as you’ve commented on a different post). The posts that you’re commenting on need to have been written in February or March 2012 (only entries with a link to a post written in that time frame count).
• You can enter as many times as you like. Which means the more you comment around the blogosphere, the more chances you have to win (last year’s winner did an insane amount of commenting). Only comments that talk about a post you read elsewhere in the blogosphere have a chance at winning (in other words, if you write below, “that looks delicious!” I’ll be appreciative, but you won’t be eligible to win. You need to list a place where you commented today, give the url for the post, and say something about the post).
• Each comment counts as one entry, so if you’ve commented in three places, you’re allowed to leave that in three entries here. Leaving it in separate comments is actually sort of an important fact because too many links in a comment will make it caught by the spam filter. I will release comments caught by the spam filter, but it will take me a moment.
• The giveaway ends at 11 p.m. EST on Thursday the 1st, therefore, you can return all weekend and list new, great blog posts you found. If you’re still confused, think of this as creating a Friday Blog Roundup-type list in the comment section, one comment at a time.  You can also look at the comment section of last year’s giveaway to get a sense of the comments.

I will also love you forever if you read down the list and click over to read the other posts listed in the comment section. And don’t just hit the first ones at the top of the comment list. Make sure you hit some of the people in the middle or bottom of the list and leave them a comment telling them that you agree with the original commenter — their writing does rock.

If someone writes something nice about a post you wrote this week, bask in the love. Oh, and here’s a good impetus to go write something amazing on your own blog so people can come and comment on it over here and win the basket.

My usual blog rules apply: any spam is deleted — the point is to honour another person, not drum up business for a Viagra website — as well as anything rude.

I’ll use the random number generator and announce it on Friday in the Roundup. So let the commenting/mishloach manot winning begin. Oh, and no, I’m not sharing these recipes. You’ll have to win them to eat them.