This post will only make sense (and be useful) if you are in 4th grade, in America, learning Common Core math, and have encountered the dreaded Quotient Cafe method.  But I am putting this here in case you are (1) in 4th grade, (2) live in America, (3) are learning Common Core math, and (4) have spent the day with your stomach in knots because you don’t understand the Quotient Cafe method.

I made this video to show you the Quotient Cafe method.  Thank you to the twins for being the waiter and the note changer.

Get it?  Let me know if you have questions.  I’m not a math teacher; just a parent who looked at the homework and made this example.

Finally, an article on a mainstream site that marvels in the reach of science instead of instilling fear in the public.  i09 published “The Beautiful Strangeness of Conceiving Through Science,” a really interesting (albeit long) piece this week from a person who has conceived twins after an IUI.

Starting with the surprise of infertility — like many people, she comes from a family without fertility issues and therefore always assumed it would be easy to get pregnant when she wanted — she states, “Humans have a tendency to take our biology for granted, which is a mistake. Infertility changes everything, and so many people, including myself, never see it coming.”

She explains her own situation and also goes through the “otherwise.”  Instead of people walking away from a single experience believing they understand the norm, she describes what happened for her as well as the other ways it could go in terms of diagnosis, insurance, and procedures.  She touches on the emotional side of infertility from time to time.

But what I love is the literal refrain of “because of science.”  Fertility treatments are just science; not something to be scared of or to stand in judgment of, unless we’re going to apply that brush to the rest of science.  People are not looking for an abnormal or extreme outcome; they’re not looking to do something destructive.

Fertility treatments are about wanting a child, a pretty commonplace desire, in the same way that using irrigation devices is about wanting to turn an arid plot of land into something fecund.  See, not so scary.  The end goal is something that naturally occurs.

Perhaps my favourite part of the article is when she discusses the limitations of science:

Which is the most remarkable part of conceiving by science – despite all the extra insight, the technology that has made conceiving and giving birth more exact, life is still incredibly unpredictable.

That as much as we want to believe we’re in control, it’s all still a game of chance.  And some will roll double sixes.  (I’m writing an analogy I don’t really know — double sixes are good, right?  If double sixes are good, go with that.  If they’re bad, replace those words with something that is very good in dice.)  And some will not get to roll at all.

So… um… offering up my own thank you to science.  Thanks, science, for all the large and small ways you get me through the day.  Thank you for the glasses to correct my imperfect vision, for the medication that keeps me from having a heart attack, for the machines that keep my house warm, for the microwave that makes cooking easier, and yes, thank you for fertility treatments and obstetrical science that aided me in conceiving the twins and carrying them (uh… mostly) to term and then keeping them alive in the NICU when my body couldn’t support them anymore.  In another time and place, there are two people on this earth who would not exist without science.  So, yeah, I’m pretty thankful for all the work that brought us to this place.

Thank you, science. (Even though I’m aware the words “thank you” are inadequate to really sum up my gratitude.)

Character actor, Taylor Negron, died over the weekend, and his final article on XOJane has been making the rounds through social media.  In case you haven’t encountered it yet, or didn’t click over to read it when it floated by, you have a chance now.  It is a very good article.

It begins:

After 30 years in show business I’ve given up on the idea that people will know my first and last name together, and I’ve accepted that I will never, ever be actually famous.

Instead, I am fame-ish.

And therein lies the reality for the vast majority of us.  Many of us will achieve fame within a small circle such as within our community.  And a few more will achieve fame on a wider circle such as within our chosen profession.  But very few will achieve fame in the larger world, and that is the point of Negron’s article: why you should keep doing what makes you happy, even if you will never receive the figurative trophies and accolades you probably deserve.  Even if you don’t achieve whatever your equivalent to fame is in your chosen career or hobby.

He calls himself That Guy; you know what I’m talking about.  The Human-nequins of this world.  The people who create the foundation to hoist other people up so to stand in the spotlight.  You can look at that work as lesser or you can look at that work as equally important.  And I’m with Negron — I see my role in the world just as valid and important and interesting as the lives of the people documented in People magazine.

The demographic that is most the stunning is the number of fans I have in the homeless population. One friendly guy who lives near me in a cluster of garbage cans always high-fives me because I was in “The River’s Edge.”

I love that guy. Because we are both That Guys.

The article is just as much a rallying cry for the work of That Guys as it is about finding peace and value in a life very different from the one you thought you’d be living.  He thought he’d be a big movie star.  That isn’t what happened.  He had to find his happiness in a different situation.  It’s, of course, applicable to all of our lives.  Something will not turn out the way you thought it would turn out.  And then… what?  What do you do with that?  What do you do beyond that?

I look at my alternative everyman predicament this way. By letting go of what you thought was going to happen in your life, you can enjoy what is actually happening.

That is what I do.

I’m That Guy.

He doesn’t say how he got to this place of peace, though he hints that the mindset didn’t come easily.  That it was something that took him time to reach.  It sounds as if it may have not been a linear process but rather something he spiraled toward until he one day found that sweet spot of seeing his place in the world as just as important as the next person.  That we all contribute in our own unique way, and none of those contributions are actually heavier than any others, even if we mistakenly think so before we learn that.

This is an article for all the people who plug away, even when the road isn’t easy.

Thanks, Taylor Negron, for leaving us with these words.  It was a selfless gift at the end of a life.  Rest easy.

Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is? Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too.

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Back in college, retirees used to come in the summer and audit classes as part of an elderhostel.  I told myself that when I was older, I would go spend time at colleges around the world and learn new things just for the sake of learning them.

And I still plan to do that, but there is this huge sea of time between the end of graduate school and the start of my retirement, and I’ve been trying to fill it.  While I don’t have the time right now to go to a local college and take a class, I am deeply interested in things like Coursera that allow you to take college classes from afar.

I’m currently devoting this year to learning a new computer language.

What would you want to learn if you had the time and guidance?

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Are you also doing #MicroblogMondays? Add your link below. The list will be open until Tuesday morning. Link to the post itself, not your blog URL. (Don’t know what that means? Please read the three rules on this post to understand the difference between a permalink to a post and a blog’s main URL.) Only personal blogs can be added to the list. I will remove any posts that are connected to businesses or are sponsored posts.

I’ve written about this before, but the funny thing is, the question about gun ownership and storage hasn’t gotten any easier to ask since I started doing it.  You would think that now that I have had the conversation many times over, I would have found the magic combination of nouns and verbs and adjectives to make the whole thing less awkward.  But I haven’t.  Instead, I have to psyche myself up before the conversation, and then cringe the whole way through it until it’s done.

Cafemom had a great article this week on how to broach the conversation before a playdate, both when to have the conversation (before you get to their front door) and what to say.  As well as an important point:

If you ask the question in a neutral, non-judgmental manner, treating it in the same way you would any other safety issue such as asking whether they have a carseat in their car for a driving situation, and they do become offended, that is your red flag.

I posted that article online, and a friend volunteered their gun status that I hadn’t yet directly asked.  It made it so much easier.  Just a simple exchange on the presence or non-presence of firearms and their whereabouts.  And now we both know.

I wish it wasn’t so awkward.  I wish it was an expected conversation vs one that people feel as if they need to dance around the topic.

Just a reminder… tomorrow is #MicroblogMonday.