Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is? Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too.

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Going hand-in-hand with avoiding dreaded tasks like getting my hair cut are things that I refer to as Schrödinger’s problems. While I don’t love the dentist or doctor, I’m not scared of the tasks that take place in the office such as a cleaning or Pap smear.

The reason I put off going to the dentist or doctor or any like task is the idea that if I don’t go, I won’t know about a problem. I’m aware that like Schrödinger’s cat being alive or dead whether or not the box is opened, if I don’t go to the doctor, the problem still exists. In fact, it could even be worse because I didn’t address it in time.

But I put-off tasks that could potentially bring me bad news. If I don’t go, I can’t receive the bad news. The same thing holds true for social situations where I suspect the person may tell me something I don’t want to hear.

Do you avoid things to keep yourself from hearing bad news or do you like to know definitively where things stand?

P.S. Before my mother asks: I have dental and doctor’s appointments scheduled.

P.P.S. Before anyone states this, I know this popularization of Schrödinger’s thought experiment is a bastardization of his actual statements on superposition.

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Are you also doing #MicroblogMondays? Add your link below. The list will be open until Tuesday morning. Link to the post itself, not your blog URL. (Don’t know what that means? Please read the three rules on this post to understand the difference between a permalink to a post and a blog’s main URL.) Only personal blogs can be added to the list. I will remove any posts that are connected to businesses or are sponsored posts.

The link told me that a study found that the number of friends you have affects how long you live.  Should I click over to PsychologyToday and find out how early I was going to die?

I expected to see an advance copy of my eulogy written at the top of the screen, especially with the added caveat that it’s not just quantity, it’s quality.  But instead I found a long discussion that this thing — friendships — that are mostly outside of our control are the key to living to a ripe old age and seeing a world full of Elon Musk’s unmanned cars or keeling over before I’ve come to a decision about whether or not to dye my hair.

The test that PsychologyToday offers as you consider your life:

Outside of your family, how many people would you be willing to call in the middle of the night if you needed help, and how many would be willing to get out of bed and come rescue you? And, what about if you met one of those important life goals? Who would you call? If you don’t have at least two people on both of your lists, perhaps you should take more seriously the role of social relationships in your life.

Four.  It looks like you need at least four people.  At least two of those people need to own beds that they can get out of.

I think I’m safe.  I have a few people that I call with major news (and not so major news).  A few more who live locally who have saved my ass before and would likely save it again.

But here’s the thing.  I don’t mind being given advice about longevity that is within my control to follow.  Drink water instead of soda?  Completely do-able.  The power is in my hands, especially since the generic bottled water at the grocery store costs less than a bottle of Coke.

But things such as marriage or parenthood or friendship… those things aren’t within our control.  Sure, there are things we can do that increase our chances of reaching those goals, such as dating or having sex or getting out of the house.  But I think we all know that some things don’t happen despite our best efforts.

At the end of the day, you can’t control how many friends you have nor the quality of those friendships.  You can’t control the friendship skills of others; whether they’ll come to your rescue or provide a shoulder for you to cry on.  Friendship is dependent upon the actions of another person. Another person needs to choose you back. And that’s just not a given, no matter how much you try to make something work.

So much of friendship is tied to your personality and where you live and the time you have to cultivate friendships.  And how much you get out of your friendships also depends on personality and history and your social needs.  There are people who prefer to be alone, and there are people who feel as if they’re crawling out of their skin when they go too long without seeing friends.

We know that stress can negatively impact our lives, and it’s stressful to be told that the solution to a problem that concerns us (our mortality) is mostly outside our control.

So I guess I’ll just give up and crawl into bed.  I’ll be there just in case someone needs a friend to get out of a bed to save their ass.

P.S. Don’t forget that tomorrow is #MicroblogMonday in case you’re also lounging around in bed and need something to do.

Updated in the Middle

If you read my blog on your phone, you may have noticed that it looks totally different.  That is because, after many requests (and a nice long wait on my to-do list), I finally got around to making a mobile version of the site.  By which I mean that I called Lori and said, “what is the easiest way to do this?”  And she held my hand and walked me through it because she is a goddess and knows that I have a low tolerance for technical things as of late.  So thank Lori if you read me on your phone.

This year, she didn’t hold her annual Limerick Chick contest for St. Patrick’s Day, but in honour of my beloved Lori:

I once met this girl through my site
I immediately thought she was dy-no-mite!
She helped my blog go on your phone
With nary a moan
That’s because she’s filled with lavender light!

P.S. If you hate the mobile version, you can toggle back to the desktop version via a link at the bottom of the screen on your phone.  But seriously, the mobile version rocks.

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Life from Scratch was chosen by Amazon to be one of the monthly deals for March. It will be on sale the whole month. I would love your help in getting word out via social media. Pretty please?

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Updated:

I saw this in the morning and had to add it.  TOTALLY worth six minutes of your time if you live in US and will know who all these politicians are.  Probably not as funny if you don’t.  It’s Too Many Cooks, election-style.

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Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

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And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Body Image” (River Run Dry)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Two Adults, One Child has a post about how she allows fear to rule her life.  Let’s just say that it hit very close to home for me, and I’m sure it will ring true for many more people.  It’s a great read, especially the part at the end where she takes the first step to tell those fears to shove it.

Riding the IVF Roller Coaster has a post about a blogger who stopped writing.  We often hear from people about their decision to close their blog, but there are fewer posts from the other side: the reader.  She writes, “For a time she’d write something, and although our situations were very different, I understood. It’s like there were some facets in our hearts that were the same: shattered, sparkling, miss cut, whatever.”  A good read.

Lavender Luz tried the intimacy experiment this week with differing results from engaging with the three people in her house.  Go over and read her experience, and then go try it with someone.

Lastly, When Agony Met Hope has a post about how we play fertility detective each month with our cycle.  What does that twinge mean?  And could I be a tad nauseated?  She writes, “I feel like I’ve spent the last 48 hours playing Agony Vagina, PI. Gathering evidence for my case to prove that yes, there is indeed a bun in my oven.”  So true.  And her detective work ultimately led to good news, too.

The roundup to the Roundup: I have a mobile version of my site.  Please help me get word out about Life from Scratch.  Too Many Cooks!  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between March 13th and 20th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

The ChickieNob has taken to saying “heart” instead of “love” (as in, “I heart Harry Potter.”), so I’m going to copy her and say:

I heart Shift Escape by Agent Lobster.

Like really really really heart it.

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So Shift Escape is Pacman without the ghosts and with a lot more obstacles.  Each board is a simple maze, and the object is to gobble up all the purple dots in as few moves as possible.

At the top of the screen, you can see the minimum number of shifts for a “perfect” escape (in this case, 32) as well as the number of shifts you’ve used (in this case, 0, because I haven’t started the board).  There is also a purple gate at the bottom.  That gate opens after you’ve gobbled all the purple dots so you can exit.

It sounds like a lot of moves (32), but remember, it’s a maze.  Every time you double back, you use up one of your shifts.  I’ve had to try most puzzles two or three times to hit that minimum number.  Sort of similar to ThinkFun’s Rush Hour.

Of course, you can also choose to move on to the next puzzle without getting a “best score.”  You can settle for a high score (at least that has been the case so far).  And that’s the nice thing that differentiates it from Candy Crush.  If you hate a board, you can solve it in a half-hearted way and move on vs. getting stuck on the same board for weeks trying to seek a very specific score.

You get the first 40 boards for free.  You can unlock a lot of extra levels for $1.99.

I’ve been rewarding myself with a board between tasks.

I just heart it.

Last fall, Facebook and Apple announced that they were going to offer employees the opportunity to freeze their eggs, and they expected women to weep with gratitude.  Last week, the Air Force showed up like the big, brawny hunk in the 1960s beach romp movie, kicking sand on the 98-pound computer weaklings.  Not only are they offering three YEARS of maternity leave, but that leave can be accessed by men AND women for a plethora of reasons including caring for a spouse or parent or returning to school.

The Career Intermission Program allows men and women to leave the Air Force for up to three years with the promise that their job will be there for them when they return.  They will continue to receive medical and dental coverage.  They’ll also be given 1/15th of their monthly salary, which obviously isn’t enough to live on, but still helps during a time when you’re not actively working.

The trade off is that you give the Air Force double the amount of active duty as you took off.  So if you take off the full three years, you give them six years of active duty when you return.  Take off one year and you give two years when you return.

Not a bad promise to make if you already intended to have a military career.  You get to be home for family building AND return to work down the road without worrying about where you’ll work.  There will be a period of retraining, but because you are certain of where you will be working when you return, you can keep up to date with new developments in your field knowing that you’ll use the information.

Of course, the Air Force can do this because they are an enormous entity that comes with the expectation that all workers will need to constantly shift and move for their career.  They can slide a new person into a position for a few years, and then slide them out when the original person returns.  I’m not sure how a small business could hold a spot for three years and run efficiently, or even a school, even though teachers often shift positions.  But it’s worth smaller entities exploring the idea and figuring out how to make this work on a smaller scale.

Because up to three years of leave that could be used however YOU need to use it; not just limited to a certain reason or sex or situation?  That makes me wish I wasn’t so scared of planes.