I want to start this by saying that I pull my kids out of school from time to time without guilt.  I’m not just talking about having them miss a day due to a holiday or an appointment.  I’ve pulled them out to go to the White House and a literary tour of London, and I’ve also pulled them out for Disney World.  I don’t do it to be obnoxious, but sometimes the magical time to go somewhere falls during the school calendar; meaning, the time we can take off from work, the time of an event, or the price of travel.

But I don’t really get the ire over the principal’s response to the parent who took his kids out of school to go to the Boston Marathon.  His wife told the teachers beforehand the kids would miss school.  The family went on the trip.  The family returned and got a letter from the principal reiterating the rules of the school district, which the family cannot change just because they want their kids to see the Boston Marathon.

Because that’s really what the dad is fighting here.  No one said that their children were going to be punished for going on the trip.  Simply that the travel was an unexcused absence and too many unexcused absences have a consequence.  The letter was simply to make the family aware if they weren’t cognizant of this that they should consider how many unexcused absences they’ve now racked up because it could affect them in the future if they choose to take another trip within the same school year.

We’ve had the same discussion with our principal, and the only response is to nod and say, “Thank you, I understand the rules.”  Accept the unexcused absences on the report card, try not to rack up any more unexcused absences for the rest of the year, and move on.

The principal doing her job doesn’t make her actions “nasty,” as the dad stated.  It simply makes her the principal, who is conveying the guidelines set up by the school district.

There is a reason why schools have these rules and a reason why it behooves parents if they care about teachers to follow the rules to the best of their ability.  School absences are a major inconvenience to the teacher who now needs to catch up the student on the work they missed while they were away which often ties into the work that is happening when they return (which they likely won’t understand).  It throws off grading.

And even worse are parents who ask for work ahead of time.  It takes a lot of effort to put together lesson plans and they’re often shifted on the fly according to the abilities of the class at the moment.  It is unreasonable to think you can have the work ahead of time; to shift the teacher’s workload to fit one family’s schedule rather than the class needs or the teacher’s timetable.

So… really… are we actually going to say that the father was “fighting back against the zero-tolerance policy of the school district that is thought to be outdated and nonsensical.”

I just proved that it’s hardly nonsensical.  It makes perfect sense if the teacher’s workload is taken into consideration instead of just the family’s convenience.

And, again, no one is saying that the family can’t take a trip.  They are only saying that the days missed are unexcused.

I’ve been on both sides of the equation: as a teacher who needs to help a student learn what everyone else learned while they were away on vacation, and as a parent who knows that sometimes the best time to travel is during the school year.

We know the rules, we keep within the confines of the rules, and we make the commitment to teach our children everything they missed while they were away.  I don’t expect teachers to prepare anything for them before they leave, and I tell the kids they need to be caught up as soon as possible when they return home.  Getting them up to speed rests with me, the person who made the decision to create this hardship, not on the teachers who have no say over what we do as long as we stick within the rules.

Education happens in so many places other than the classroom, and schools are generally flexible and want kids to have beneficial experiences.  Really, we can work together with schools; we don’t have to work against them.

Right now, due to the kitchen renovation, making a cup of coffee means walking up and down two flights of stairs.  The cups and the sweetener are on the main floor because there is no place for them upstairs.  So we need to go down to grab those supplies and bring them up to where we set up the coffee pot in our room.  After we pour the coffee and add the sweetener, we need to bring the cup down two flights of stairs to the basement where we’re storing the cream.  Then there is the issue of stirring it and cleaning said spoon.

If I didn’t need the coffee so badly to get through the day, I would just curl up in a ball and give up.

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A long time ago, I used to love camping.  I loved packing for camping.  I loved pitching a tent and the coziness of being in the sleeping bag with all the things I needed in a backpack beside me.  I loved cooking dinner over the fire and even cleaning up from buckets.  The whole thing felt like you had boiled down life to the essentials.

And now I despise camping.  Moving beyond my strong dislike for the outdoors (with the exception of beaches), I have an equally strong dislike for making easy tasks more difficult.  Take, for instance, the coffee.  In my house, I normally walk into the kitchen, brew a pot of coffee, pour myself a cup, add the cream and sugar, drink it, and clean up.  Easy.

Whereas camping is a bit like making coffee in my bathroom.  I need to obtain the water somewhere or carry it with me.  I need to make it in a contraption that is not as easy as my coffee pot or use instant coffee.  Forget real cream.  Cleaning up is a headache.

I get that if I actually liked nature that I would be trading the convenience of home life for something of equal value.  But I don’t like nature.  And this experience just reminds me why I dislike camping as much as I do.

I am too old to camp.  I am too old to see camping as an adventure.  I am too tired to get excited over the idea of problem-solving making coffee in the woods.  I am too set in my ways to get excited over the idea of using creativity to make dinner happen.

And I don’t know when the switch occurred.

A case in point, we keep kosher, which means that we have two sets of everything — two sets of dishes, two sets of cooking equipment, two sponges — everything.  When we first got married, I had very few “meat” items because I rarely cooked meat as a vegetarian.  If I made it at all, it was for other people at a dinner party.  So I had maybe a pot and a pan and a few plates and a knife.

And then I married a meat-eater, and suddenly I had to make these meat meals without the “meat” equipment.  Instead of buying more stuff, I treated it like a game.  How could I creatively cook this whole chicken without the necessary tools to cook said chicken?  And then I’d pat myself on the back and say, “Mel, you were so creative to make that coil out of foil instead of using a metal rack.  Good on you.”

But over the years, I have amassed an enormous amount of “meat” equipment; enough that I can cook meat meals as easily as dairy meals.  It doesn’t phase me to cook multiple meat dishes at the same time, and I have enough serving dishes to get dinner for 12 on the table with little fuss.

When did it change?  When did I go from thinking I was so clever and cool to make do with so little to feeling as if the task is undo-able if I don’t have the correct tools?

*******

This whole week is slipping by me.  I apologize if it takes me a long time to respond to an email.  I’m sorry that I’m off my commenting game.

Anyway, I probably need more coffee to actually get my day started, and I have multiple flights of stairs to walk so I should probably get on that.

Updated at the Bottom

I asked this on Facebook last night, but I thought I would open up a larger conversation here with more details. Facebook’s tiny status box always makes me feel as if I should keep things brief even if we have mostly unlimited space over there. Whereas my blog feels more like Montana; big sky country. I can babble and babble and babble…

Lucky you.

So here is the situation. I am cleaning out the house, and I have a lot of old clothes and old toys that I need to get out of the house.  I could have a yard sale, but I think the planning and implementing of that would break me.  I could sell it online, but again, I think the time I would need to dedicate to the task would be untenable considering how much my work time has been impacted by this kitchen remodel.

Which leaves two feasible options (unless you can think of a third that takes about the same amount of time as these two): donate to a registered charity and take the tax deduction at the end of the year, or take it all to a consignment shop and see what they will give me for the haul.

To begin, it sounds like people’s experience with Thredup hasn’t been positive, so I’d rather just drive it over to a Thredup-like store in the area vs. go the mail-sent route.  If we go the registered charity route, we have one down here that we like and often work with.

Other details to know:

• All of the clothes (kid AND adult) and toys are in great condition.
• A lot of the kid clothing is popular, brand names.
• Most of the adult clothing is out-of-style or was never in style to begin with because I am just not a stylish person.
• Most of the adult clothing is casual; not dressy.
• We are talking about a lot of stuff.  Like it will take a few trips if we bring it all to consignment shops.

Okay, so which would help us more in the financial sense, since obviously donating would be better in the altruistic sense?  Has anyone ever worked out whether it’s better to donate or sell?

And if you’ve sold items in the past, what could I expect to get for a bag that contains (let’s say) 20 items of laundered, folded, in-good-condition brand name kid clothing?  I guess I have no sense what these places pay.  I know it all depends on what they assess the value to be when I get there, but what is a ball park figure?  Or tell me about your experience consigning — what you brought in and how much cash you took home?

Blogs are so much better than the backyard fence when you only got advice from two or three neighbours.  Bring it on.

Update:

I don’t want to cut-and-paste people’s comments from Facebook because I’m not certain they want their words out there like that, so if you wrote something on Facebook, could you cut-and-paste it here so that others searching for this information can see your words?

Also, the most helpful thing would be to hear people’s real life experiences with selling stuff to consignment shops on online places like Thredup.  Like how much (generally) did you bring, how much did they pay, and did you walk out happy or frustrated?  Because you can’t find anything like that online, giving specific examples so people can look at what they have and make a decision.  What sort of payment can someone expect based on real life examples, also knowing that each individual case is going to be different?

Welcome back to IComLeavWe. It stands for International Comment Leaving Week, but if you say it aloud, doesn’t it sounds like “I come; [but] leave [as a] we”? And that’s sort of the point. Blogging is a conversation and comments should be honoured and encouraged. I like to say that comments are the new hug–a way of saying hello, giving comfort, leaving congratulations. Here is the vital information, pure and simple (a more detailed set of rules follows below the list):

• The list opens the 1st of every month. It remains open until the 21st. You can add yourself at any point. The list is open to everyone in the blogosphere–blog writers and/or blog readers.
• Add yourself to the list by filling out this form after adding the icon below: The May list is now closed.  The June list will open on 5/27.
  
• Click here to cut-and-paste this bit of code to add to your sidebar (if you have the old code from another month, remove it and replace it with this one). You need to add the icon or a link to the current list on your blog (see below) and will not be added until it’s up.
• Commenting kicks off every month on the 21st. Please mark it somewhere (calendar, post-it note taped to your computer…), though I will be sending out an email reminder on the 20th. Commenting week runs from the 21st to the 28th. Every day, leave 5 comments and return 1 comment for a total of 6 comments. You are highly encouraged to choose the blogs you comment on from the participants list below, but this is not required.
• I will send a second email on the 28th to remind you to remove the icon from your blog.
• Read below if you want to find out about Iron Commenters.
• The commenting ends on the 28th. We catch our breath and the whole thing starts again the next month on the 1st. Drop in and out according to what is happening in your life between the 21st and the 28th.

The May 2015 List

1. Stirrup Queens (twins, books, writing)
2. Breathe Gently (IVF, miscarriage, toddler-mum)
3. Amateur Nester (infertility, faith, encouragement)
4. When Agony Met Hope… (infertility, donor embryo, new pregnancy)
5. A Page In My Book (parenting boys, special needs, 16 miscarriages)
6. Pages, Stages & Rages (parenting after IF, adoption, grief)
7. Creating a Family (infertility, adoption, adoptive parenting)
8. Four Years Later (pregnancy, stillbirth, mommy)
9. Let’s Make a Panda (food, knitting, geek)
10. A Little Bit More (life, ttc, pcos)
11. The May list is now closed.  The June list will open on 5/27.

Q: What if I miss a day?

A: Catch up the next day by doubling your comments–12 comments instead of 6.

Q: What if I have two blogs? Can I sign up twice, listing both blogs?

A: Yes, but you also need to double your comments. If you have two blogs listed, you should be leaving 12 comments per day.

Q: What is an Iron Commenter?

A: Not for the faint-of-heart. People who wish to be an Iron Commenter and be entered on the Iron Commenter honour roll need to leave a comment on every blog on the participants list (exceptions are blogs that require you to have a special log-in, such as some LiveJournal accounts or other similar situations). You can spread out this commenting any way you wish over the whole week, but the final comment needs to be left by midnight on the 28th (EST). Reaching Iron Commenter status is done on an honour system. Please email me if you earn Iron Commenter status so I can add you to the wall of honour.

Q: Why do I have to add that bit of code to my sidebar?

A: The code is the latest icon (the icon changes colour every month so you know that you’re on the right list). This month, the icon is yellow, the next month it will be purple, etc. The reason is two-fold: (1) it enables more people to find out about IComLeavWe and (2) it gives you easy access to the current list once the commenting week actually begins and better ensures that you’ll use it. Too many times, people sign up and forget to actually do IComLeavWe and this icon gives you a daily reminder (with the dates on it) every time you open your own blog. The icon is linked back to the current list. On the 28th, remove the icon from your blog. A new one will be created for the next month.

Q: It’s the 23rd and I just saw this for the first time on my friend’s blog! I want to join the list–why can’t I?

A: Because IComLeavWe happens every month, once the list is closed, it’s closed. If you’re finding out about this on the 23rd, you can’t join the current month. But leave yourself a note to check back in a week on the 1st and you can sign up for the next month.

Q: You said the list closes on the 21st. Well, it’s still the 21st where I am. Why aren’t you moving my information onto the list?

A: All dates and times are U.S. Eastern Standard Time (UTC/GMT -5 hours). The list closes around 11 p.m. EST on the 21st.

Q: What if no one comments on my blog and I have no comments to return?

A: Well, that really doesn’t happen for the most part, but in that case, simply choose another blog and add an additional comment. The goal is to hit 6 comments daily as a minimum. Going over that is fantastic and encouraged.

Q: Mel, my question wasn’t covered at all. What do I do?

A: Email me; I’m quite friendly. It helps to place “IComLeavWe” in the subject line. You could also check this post which contains the history of IComLeavWe and see if you can glean anything there.

Looking for the comment section? It has been closed on this post. Use the form in the directions to add yourself to the list.

Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is? Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too.

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I have lost two of my Harry Potter book covers, the paper dust jackets that wrap around the book.  Once upon a time, they were on the bookshelf, next to the books.  But then I had a brilliant idea to move them… somewhere.  Except I can’t remember where.

And I need them because I was going to display all the books in my new literary kitchen.  But I don’t want 5 copies to have dust jackets and 2 to be bare.

So I am turning to the collective powers of the Internet.  These are the two book jackets I need to replace.

Just the standard, US versions with the Mary GrandPre drawings.  Is there anyone reading this from Scholastic (or who knows someone at Scholastic) who would be willing to send me an extra dust jacket?  Does it help at all to know that I love Harry Potter so much that I not only own the hardbacks, the paperbacks, and the e-books, but I also walk around the house in my Hogwarts robes?

I hate losing things.  I hate not knowing where things are.  I end up obsessing about them for hours instead of getting anything accomplished.  I’m a little less stressed over these covers because they are replaceable (vs. being a one-of-a-kind object like the sketch pad from a few weeks ago), but that doesn’t mean I haven’t wasted hours looking to no avail.

What have you recently misplaced?  Any odd places where you’ve found missing objects?  And can anyone help me replace these missing book jackets?

*******

Are you also doing #MicroblogMondays? Add your link below. The list will be open until Tuesday morning. Link to the post itself, not your blog URL. (Don’t know what that means? Please read the three rules on this post to understand the difference between a permalink to a post and a blog’s main URL.) Only personal blogs can be added to the list. I will remove any posts that are connected to businesses or are sponsored posts.