I spent a chunk of Sunday reading for Relaxation Day.  I have several books going at once: One that lives in my purse, one that I started before two library books became available from my holds list, and the two library books from the waiting list.  Oh, and a cookbook.  I grabbed a vegetarian noodle cookbook from the new arrivals shelf when grabbing the books from the waitlist.

Josh teases me because I always visibly carry at least one book when we leave the house.  He asks me if it’s in case I get bored, and while the answer is sort of yes, it’s also a security blanket.  I like having a book with me.  It makes me feel comfortable.

When I got my phone, I downloaded a bunch of e-books so I could always have books on my phone.  But I also like to carry at least one paper book with me in case the phone stops working.

Imagine if I was out and the battery died or the phone went missing.  I would no longer have access to a book.  Carrying a paper book means I’m always prepared.

It’s good to be prepared.

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I loved Will Schwalbe’s essay in the Wall Street Journal about our need to read.  It begins:

We all ask each other a lot of questions. But we should all ask one question a lot more often: “What are you reading?” It’s a simple question but a powerful one, and it can change lives.

The essay is about how the rhythm of the daily world divides us and drains us, but books have the ability to recharge us.  He writes,

Reading is the best way I know to learn how to examine your life. By comparing what you’ve done to what others have done, and your thoughts and theories and feelings to those of others, you learn about yourself and the world around you. Perhaps that is why reading is one of the few things you do alone that can make you feel less alone. It is a solitary activity that connects you to others.

I love reading alone, though I clearly also read with the twins because I love to read things together and discuss them in real time.

Like the author, I read books to help me understand the world around me.  Dirk Gently wiggled its way back into my purse after the election because I felt like the Electric Monk held the key to understanding how people could elect Trump.  I know — silly — but every time I started panicking about the people around me, I grabbed out the book and re-read a few pages and said, “Oh, yes, people really can believe anything regardless of fact.”

I am currently re-reading Dirk Gently by Douglas Adams.  I’m reading Dark Matter by Blake Crouch and The Thousandth Floor by Katharine McGee.  I’m in the middle of Magician’s Land by Lev Grossman.  I saved the last book in that trilogy for when I needed it, and that time popped up a day or two before those other two books became available at the library.  Do you also save books?  If I see that a book is going to be very special to me, I save it until I am either in the right frame of mind or need a pick-me-up.  This moment was of the pick-me-up variety.

So as Schwalbe says to ask: What are you reading?

I am known for annoying my family by asking them to rank things on a 1 to 10 scale.  What do you think of this new stuffing recipe on a scale from 1 to 10?  How excited are you for the next Dirk Gently episode on a scale from 1 to 10?  How much do you think these shoes are a bad idea?  1 to 10?

So imagine my excitement when Jane McGonigal proposed in her SuperBetter book using that 1 to 10 scale to get people to actually connect rather than give the rote answer of “fine” when asked about their state of being.

How it works: Instead of asking someone, “How are you?” say, “How is your day going on a scale from 1 to 10?”  And then when the person gives you the number, ask them the reason as well as what you can do to bump it up one digit.

For instance, I ask, “How is your day going on a scale from 1 to 10?”

And maybe you answer, “Um… a 2.  I found a $10 bill in my coat pocket this morning, but, you know, Trump is still president-elect.  So maybe not even a 2?”

“What can I do to make it a 3?”

Perhaps there is nothing I can do to bump up life to a 3, but you get the point.  Instead of answering with a quick (and usually fake) “fine,” the person is forced to not only think for a moment about the number, but they usually volunteer their reasoning behind giving the number.  Since putting this into effect, I’ve only run into a few 10s, which unless something really exciting or relaxing or happy has happened that day doesn’t seem entirely truthful, and have mostly heard a range of interesting answers from 1 to 9.

I’ve also had everyone snicker when I ask what I can do to bump it up a notch, and it makes us both realize in the moment how little we can do to remove someone else’s emotional burden beyond holding it for a few seconds at a time.  That moment of recognition isn’t depressing; it’s actually refreshing to simply have the things you’re grappling with acknowledged.  Plus every once in a while, I’ve actually been able to jump in and do something for another person that has made a small difference including connecting them with someone who really can help or retweeting a message they want to get out there.

So… how is your day going from 1 to 10?  And what can I do to bump it up one digit?

I’m writing about SuperBetter the app as well as SuperBetter the book because… well… I learned about them via a podcast and now I want to talk about everything I’m learning on them.  If you want to talk about them, too, join along.  If not, skip the posts marked SuperBetter.

Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is? Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too.

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I am terrible at trying new foods when it is on someone else’s timetable, but I am actually decent at giving things a try on my own.  Take, for instance, Brussels sprouts.  Did not want to try them any time other people asked me to try them over the years, but one day (well into adulthood) I decided I wanted to taste them, and now they’re one of my favourite things.

The same thing is happening with Tofurkey.

I am usually not drawn to fake meat, mostly because I am grossed out by real meat.  Why would I want to eat a fake version of something I find revolting in its real form?  It took me a long time to come around to veggie burgers or ersatz chicken patties, and they’re still not my favourite things, but I’ve never tried Tofurkey.  The idea of it is unappetizing.

Yet I am suddenly interested in the idea of Tofurkey, and now just need to whip up the stuffing and vegetarian gravy to make a meal out of trying it.

Have you ever changed your mind on trying something you said you would never, ever eat?

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Are you also doing #MicroblogMondays? Add your link below. The list will be open until Tuesday morning. Link to the post itself, not your blog URL. (Don’t know what that means? Please read the three rules on this post to understand the difference between a permalink to a post and a blog’s main URL.) Only personal blogs can be added to the list. I will remove any posts that are connected to businesses or are sponsored post.

A few weeks ago, I threw a holiday on the calendar: Relaxation Day.  I made it the Sunday after Thanksgiving because it was the first available day where we would be home all day (which means we don’t have to get out of our pyjamas) and it was far enough away that I could clear any stressors from the day like work so it could feel like a real holiday.

My plan for today is to remain in the aforementioned pyjamas all day.  I grabbed a few boxes of hors d’oeuvres from the store for dinner so we could eat using toothpicks, including a box of hot pretzels because why not.  I am reading Blake Crouch’s Dark Matter (so good) and have two episodes of Dirk Gently to catch up on.  The ChickieNob and I are watching The Crown and eating unreal amounts of popcorn.  All devices are charged for unlimited gaming time, and in the event that they need to recharge, I have consoles ready to go.  And did I mention the pyjamas?  Not getting dressed.  I can’t because I also plan to take naps.

Everyone in the house is following their bliss for the next 24 hours.

We usually only do this once a year — stick a day on the calendar where we don’t have to do anything except be hedonistic for 24 hours — but it occurred to me that we could do this much more often.  Not so often where it ceases to feel special, but four times per year seems reasonable.

It’s different from actual holidays because on actual holidays, we usually have to cook and clean or we have to go somewhere.  There are obligations and rituals.  And that is lovely — I would never want to get rid of cooking for Rosh HaShanah or the Kol Nidre service on Yom Kippur or hanging out with my family for Thanksgiving — but I also need days like today where I am doing what I want, when I want, and doing it all in pyjamas.

With popcorn.

And hors d’oeuvres for dinner.

I just had the most relaxing, non-brain-taxing, fun read in a long time.  If you are also stressed beyond the point of being able to function and feeling increasing despair when you go online because you confront the news (or people discussing the news), I’m going to recommend The Royal We by Heather Cocks and Jessica Morgan.

The ChickieNob informed me that I took this book out of the library twice.  The first time, I returned it after reading a few pages.  I guess I thought I wasn’t going to like it.

The second time, I grabbed it in a panic when I had exactly three minutes and six seconds in the library to make a selection and pick up the kids from school.  When the ChickieNob saw it, she told me that I had checked it out weeks earlier and returned it weeks earlier.

Really?

Because while it may not have appealed to me pre-election, this book definitely was the greatest escape post-election.  It’s a reimagining of the British royal family with a Will and Kate-type relationship story.  It is (1) so much fun, (2) has really likeable characters, (3) made me feel like I actually knew what Buckingham Palace looked like beyond the public rooms, (4) did I mention fun?  It was really fun, unless you’re actually in the royal family, and then it probably would not be fun.

But none of you are in the royal family, right?

Juxtapose that with watching The Crown at the same time, and it was perfect escapism.

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Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

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And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Don’t Send Them to The Wall…” (Seattle Times)
• “I Got Jackassed.  Twice.” (Lavender Luz)
• “Are People Actually Good?” (Stirrup Queens) — thank you, Cristy!

Okay, now my choices this week.

Searching for Our Silver Linings had a post that I needed to read this week about still seeing the good.  I’ll admit that my attention has been much more focused on the loud moments of hatred bubbling up around me, but her post is a rallying cry to give just as much weight to the quieter acts of kindness.

Hope Floats Among the Cherry Blossoms has a very real and very raw post about thoughts she has had about trying to conceive.  I highlight it not only because it is well-written and an interesting read but because I suspect that she is not alone with these thoughts as she looks left and right to a future with or without children.  As she grapples with her fears and questions, I also don’t want to lose my favourite part of the post: “I loved my mom and felt so loved by her that I wanted to be a mommy and take care of a child so they could feel as loved as I felt as a little girl.”  Me, too.

Lastly, Project Progeny has a post about meeting up with another IF blogger.  I love this post because meeting people face-to-face after reading them online is one of my favourite things, and this is doubly so when we’ve understood each other through the lens of infertility.  Not only do I remember the blog exchanges she mentioned, I participated in some of those blog exchanges.  And I feel the same way as this: “We talked about making connections through blogging, and what that had meant for each of us during our years of actively working to build our families, through the pain and grief and fears of infertility. Neither of us is actively in that stage anymore – no more two-week waits – but there is something about feeling known and understood and accepted that we both miss about the ALI blogging community.”  Yes, I believe that she can slip back down into blogging as she states at the end of the post.  Go read the whole piece.

The roundup to the Roundup: A good escape novel, unless you are in the royal family.  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between November 18th and 25th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.