Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is? Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too.

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We don’t do anything for Valentine’s Day anymore.  Josh and I have never celebrated it.  (We also don’t celebrate Tu B’Av, which is sort of the Jewish version of Valentine’s Day.)

When the kids were little, I was the class mum, so I threw the school party.  They filled out Valentine’s cards for all of their classmates, ate candy, and played games.  But now that they’re in middle school, we don’t have that ritual.

I don’t feel sad about it, and I certainly don’t want to go out Wednesday night.  But I do feel like I need to make heart-shaped pancakes or something of that ilk.

What is the most low-key way to mark Valentine’s Day without really doing anything for Valentine’s Day?

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Are you also doing #MicroblogMondays? Add your link below. The list will be open until Tuesday morning. Link to the post itself, not your blog URL. (Don’t know what that means? Please read the three rules on this post to understand the difference between a permalink to a post and a blog’s main URL.) Only personal blogs can be added to the list. I will remove any posts that are connected to businesses or are sponsored post.

The Wolvog bought himself a virtual reality set-up.  He has wanted one for a long time, and the price finally dropped on one that would work with his computer.  He researched the equipment, tried it out first-hand, priced out the whole thing on his own.

We negotiated an addendum to our screen contract with specific rules governing VR, which set time limits (one hour on to two hours off), types of games (no shooters or multiplayer online games), and a “carbon offset” clause which states that to counterbalance screen use, he needs to read a books like Chade-Meng Tan’s Joy of Demand or Mo Gawdat’s Solve for Happy or listen to the new Science of Happiness podcast in order to train his brain to be equally happy in the non-virtual world.

This decision to bring VR into the house filled us (and by “us,” I mean Josh and me) with equal parts pride and dread.  I was excited that he found something that made him this excited.  He blisses out when he talks about VR.  It is cool to see someone find something that consistently brings them this much happiness.  And dread because… well… there is something a little isolating about VR.  How can reality compete with the perfection and wonder of a virtual world?  It seems ripe for creating sadness.

But the equipment arrived and he took so much care setting it up, passing it around for everyone to try.  Is it emotional to stand in the virtual White House and look around, feeling as if I’m in the actual space?  Yes; I cried watching a VR movie with Obama and let out a long string of wonder-laced expletives seeing China.

And at the same time, it has been a first-hand lesson in tempering expectations.  There were set up woes where he had to troubleshoot things that he hadn’t expected to have to troubleshoot.  There were unexpected lags and flickering that he didn’t see when he tried out the equipment in the store, probably because he was trying it out with a newer, more powerful computer.  We had warned him that it might not work as he wanted it to work, and he was dismissive of facts when they didn’t fit what he hoped was true, but he has slowly been shedding the disappointment over expectations and fitting his brain into being satisfied actuality.

And maybe that’s the best lesson learned from this; that initial disappointments or frustrations may melt away over time because humans are excellent at realizing actuality is sometimes okay once expectations are dropped.  In fact, actuality, in this case, still makes him pretty damn happy.

The Olympics kicks off tonight… or… I guess they’ve already kicked off?  I’m a little fuzzy on the whole time difference thing since we only watch the prime time coverage.  I know you don’t see everything if you only stick to the nightly coverage, but I really miss how we used to have television “events” where you and the rest of the world were watching the same thing at the same time.  It still happens from time to time with things like the State of the Union or the Super Bowl, but it feels like those moments are few and far between.

Like I remember watching the season finale for Friends when Ross said Rachel’s name at the wedding.  Our windows were open, and a collective shout went out across the apartment complex at that moment.  We ended up spilling outside, laughing with our neighbours once we realized everyone in the complex had been watching the same television show at the same time.

But I digress.

We’re watching the Olympics at night, and we’re so excited.  So even though you can watch the Opening Ceremony early if you go online, we’re sticking to waiting and seeing it at the end of the day.  Because we’re all traditional like that.  Top favourite events: figure skating, skeleton, and luge.

What are your favourites?

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Stop procrastinating.  Go make your backups.  Don’t have regrets.

Seriously.  Stop what you’re doing for a moment.  It will take you fifteen minutes, tops.  But you will have peace of mind for days and days.  It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

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And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week.  In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Women’s Blogs” (Stirrup Queens) — thank you, Lori!
• “Where We Are” (With Every Heartbeat)
• “Everybody’s Kids” (The Next 15000 Days)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Carolyn Hax gave cryptic adoption advice this week, but Lavender Luz filled in the missing information, including the point that kids take their cues from adults, so if the adults are on-board with openness, the kids will usually follow suit.  As always, I love this point that Lori often highlights: “Just because you’re showing pictures and having the occasional visits doesn’t mean you’re open. It means you offer contact. But understand that contact ≠ openness.”

The Road Less Travelled discusses a spot that infertile and fertile women often find themselves in when they enter a different stage of life; eager for someone else (a family member or friend) to have a baby, though infertile women know that you cannot put pressure on another human to build their family.  In this case, it is her nephew and his wife who would like a baby but believe that it isn’t a good time for them to try.  She points out that she knows first hand how terrible it is to deal with outside pressure, “It was hard enough to deal with then, when we assumed we would be parents someday, at a time of our choosing. It became excruciating once it dawned on us that parenthood might not be a given after all.”

Old Lady and No Baby has a funny post about her twins and their imaginary friend.  Their individual imaginary friends share the same name — Papa — and are, of course, awesome.  The ChickieNob and Wolvog both had imaginary friends, and we still reminisce about Bronner from time to time.  I mean, I miss Bronner (and her imaginary friend, Ursula, since the ChickieNob’s imaginary friend had an imaginary friend), and she wasn’t even my imaginary friend plus she made my life very complicated.  But, you know, imaginary friends rock.

Lastly, I love Slaying, Blogging, Whatever’s letter to her children who are going through a difficult time.  Her words squeezed my heart and also make me feel calm, and her kids are very lucky to have such a thoughtful mum: “Things you think should be easy are not and things that are hard are harder than you thought. Growing up is hard. No matter what we have done to prepare you, it is never enough… especially if you see and react to the world differently. It can seem like an endlessly, rough road.”

The roundup to the Roundup: Olympics are starting!  Your weekly backup nudge.  And lots of great posts to read.  So what did you find this week?  Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between February 2nd and 9th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week?  Read the original open thread post here.

I love personality quizzes.  I am frequently sucked into taking quizzes where I describe how I behave at a party (Um… I don’t go to the party?  Is that one of the choices?) or how I’d spend lottery money.  Of course I would click on an article that promised to tell me the ONLY WORTHY PERSONALITY QUIZ IN THE WORLD.

Because there are real personality tests out there:

Ones that are actually evidence-based and scientifically sound. That’s because, while most of the personality tests shared around the internet are, indeed, bogus procrastination devices, there is a science to personality, and it’s something that researchers really can put into a quantified, testable format.

It turns out that the test is just the Big Five, one that I’ve known about forever and have used to construct character personalities.  But reading the article made me remember why I like the Big Five and use it: that most of the time our personality swings in multiple directions, and it all comes down to a percentage of how much you fit somewhere, with other options being equally (though maybe less) possible.

For instance, I took the Personality Lab’s Sorting House quiz based on the concept of the Big Five and it told me that I was 81% compatible with Ravenclaw, the clear winner.  But I was 76% compatible with Hufflepuff, a close second.  I was 57% compatible with Slytherin but only 38% compatible with Gryffindor, which sounds correct EXCEPT I would have (1) put my compatibility with Gryffindor lower because I would crap my pants if (2) I had to sleep in the Slytherin section of the castle.  Not really even 38% brave of heart.

Anyway, the question I always have at the end of these things is whether our personalities are clumpable.  We’re told we’re unique; there’s no one earth is like us.  And yet I’m willing to bet that someone who takes the quiz above will end up with the exact same breakdown of 81%, 76%, 57%, and 38th for the corresponding houses.  And then what does it say about the two of us?  Are we more alike than two other random people or still equally as different?

Anyway take the quiz and tell me how you do.

Does it feel like there has been a glut of articles touting spending challenges this month?  It’s not the first time I’ve seen the idea floated, but I’ve been noticing them in every single publication I read.

The New York Times recounted Ann Patchett’s year without shopping.  She made up her own rules, allowing herself to purchase some things and not others.  The most interesting part of the article came when she discussed gifts:

The idea that our affection and esteem must manifest itself in yet another sweater is reductive. Elissa said she gave people time, a certificate to watch their kids or clean their house. “That,” she told me, “turned out to be the hardest thing. Time is so valuable.”

Or the idea that just waiting a few days can make a feeling pass:

For four days I really wanted a Fitbit. And then — poof! — I didn’t want one. I remember my parents trying to teach me this lesson when I was a child: If you want something, wait awhile. Chances are the feeling will pass.

Lifehacker suggested a month-long financial detox if you can’t handle a year, and focusing on one item that drains your wallet.  Mine is definitely books, but I’m okay with that.  I’m okay with supporting other writers or having a stack of books on hand.  At the end of my life, I don’t think I’ll ever feel that I wasted money on my books.

There were a bunch of others, more of the same touting either a timed challenge or a item-focused challenge, but the post that stood out for me came from Frugalwoods.  It’s really a post about owning less, which translates into buying less, but the reasoning behind it resonated with me:

It’s easier to operate in a home that’s not crammed with junk, it’s liberating to know where everything is, to have a clean spot for all your possessions, and to not waste time looking for things. It’s wonderful to not desire more stuff and it’s a boon to realize when you have enough.

Yes.  And this mantra: “The more I own, the more I have to clean, the more I have to store, and the more I’m responsible for.”  It’s a long post, but she got to the heart of why I’m drawn to these articles: because I see owning less as a way of using my time more effectively.  I hate losing things, and it’s hard to lose things when everything fits into a certain place.

I’ll argue that it’s much easier to do something like this when your life is like her life: Her husband is on-board with the plan and therefore (I assume) puts things back in their proper place, not messing up her system.  Her child is too young to make a true mess or acquire things.  I’d love for her to revisit this post in eight years, when her first child is ensconced in activities and her not-yet-born child has toys and whether she’s still able to hold on to her minimalist lifestyle.

If I had unlimited time, I would put it towards decluttering our house.  I need to scheduling it in, but because it’s not time sensitive, it gets pushed to the back burner in favour of other things that need to get done now.  Though perhaps if we set aside four-hour blocks around the calendar, we’ll be able to keep several in place and get the work done over several months.

We have to try, or I have to stop reading articles like this.  One or the other.