Before I tell you my situation, I should preface this conundrum by saying that I’m firmly on the side of the American Library Association. As an author, as a reader, as a human.

In case you haven’t been following the story, Macmillan, one of the biggest publishers, has been putting restrictions on libraries in order to try to drive sales. Their most recent restriction was to state that libraries were only allowed to purchase one copy of an e-book for the first eight weeks. Macmillan believes — based on anecdotal evidence — that 8% of people will purchase an e-book if they can’t obtain it easily. So they’re hoping that ridiculous wait lists for popular titles will drive people to purchase their own copy. After eight weeks, libraries can purchase multiple copies, though those copies cost a lot more than personal copies and the license needs to be continuously renewed.

So that’s the situation. Some libraries — including libraries in our area — are responding by not purchasing any Macmillan e-books. Some are not purchasing e-books ever, and some are waiting a certain amount of time. Still others are not purchasing any Macmillan titles, period––e-book or paper. Instead, they are funneling that money towards publishers that are willing to work with libraries and keep books accessible.

So this is my conundrum.

I started reading a trilogy. It’s by a lesser-known author, and her books are well-received but not big sellers. I love the books so far.

She is published by Macmillan.

Our library has the first two books in the trilogy. It doesn’t have the third book, which came out a few months ago. I can put in a request to have them purchase it, but doing so means that I am asking the library to fiscally support a business that is treating libraries and library patrons poorly. Our library’s policy at the moment: “Macmillan Publishers has recently introduced a ‘1-copy only’ embargo of all their new eBook titles for the first 60 days of publication. Because of this change, we will not be purchasing any Macmillan titles until 60 days after publication.”

So, technically, it’s after the 60 days. But. I don’t feel right putting in a purchase request for the paper book or the e-book.

Which leaves me with a few options.

(1) Purchase the trilogy. That was my original plan before I found out the third book was missing from the library. I would like to own the trilogy AND I would like to support this lesser-known author because I think her voice is important. BUT purchasing her books means that I am giving money to Macmillan.

(2) Stop reading the trilogy. This is what I normally do when a book is difficult to get. There are too many books on my to-be-read list. I can just skip to the next book in the pile and never make a dent in all the stories out there that I want to consume.

(3) Purchase the books from a used book shop. The author doesn’t get any extra money but the publisher also doesn’t get money. The drawback is that these books aren’t big sellers, and it will be difficult to find a copy in a used bookstore. Abe Books has copies for sale online, though I’ll be purchasing the books, sight-unseen. Which always makes me a little nervous with used books.

(4) An unknown option that I haven’t thought of yet but which you may supply in the comment section.

It’s a really hard decision. The author in me wants to go with option 1. It’s what I hope other people would do for me. After all, she has no say over her publisher’s choices and these choices were made long after she started working with them. She doesn’t have clout at the publisher; she isn’t one of their cornerstone authors. She is exactly the type of author who is hurt the most by things like this.

What would you do? And what do you think of this whole Macmillan mess?

Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is? Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too.

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There is a reason why I usually don’t give myself downtime. It is so much harder to get back into work after spending most of the weekend lying around in my pyjamas, reading books and watching television. And eating crap. And sleeping whenever I felt like it.

It’s like I have a relaxation hangover after imbibing too much relaxation. Whereas on a normal weekend, I imbibe a moderate amount of relaxation, so the afterward isn’t quite so drastic.

While the weekend was lovely, I’m finding it very difficult to be back in regular clothes today.

How was your weekend?

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Are you also doing #MicroblogMondays? Add your link below. The list will be open until Tuesday morning. Link to the post itself, not your blog URL. (Don’t know what that means? Please read the three rules on this post to understand the difference between a permalink to a post and a blog’s main URL.) Only personal blogs can be added to the list. I will remove any posts that are connected to businesses or are sponsored post.

Actually, she makes me think a lot more often than that, but there have been three posts that I’ve bookmarked recently. AND I am writing this early and scheduling it to post because, in case you didn’t catch this with the Roundup, I am NOT thinking today. No thinking. Not even one second of it. I am eating chips in my pyjamas and watching television. My brain is off.

So these were all columns I noted back when my brain was on.

The first was a situation where the person was making a lot of assumptions because a sibling didn’t respond to their text message. They were asking permission to not share future news with this sibling because they obviously didn’t care or didn’t approve. Obviously?

Anyway, Carolyn wrote:

The second was a dad who wanted to give his daughter unsolicited advice on a situation that he knew nothing about. I know––always a great idea. Carolyn told him this brilliant statement:

Humility is our best friend. It urges us to say to ourselves in these situations: “I know what I witnessed, but do I know what it meant?”

Again, how many times do you jump to thinking you understand something but when you take a step back and ask yourself what it means, you can’t answer the question? For me — all the time.

The third was a woman who feels guilty when she sets firm boundaries. Carolyn’s thought is obvious, but it still feels like something to print out and put somewhere that I’ll see it on a regular basis:

You’ll need to reinforce your own conviction that you’re entitled to choose how you use your time — and others aren’t. This is the bedrock on which all good boundaries rest: the certainty that it isn’t selfish to have them.

That’s what I have. So what good advice have you read recently?

I have a hot date with my pyjamas this weekend. Friday night, we’re doing appetizers for dinner (in my pyjamas), and then reading or re-watching old episodes of The Crown. I’m supposed to be social on Saturday, so I guess I’ll have to shower and change out of pyjamas for a few hours, but the second it’s done, it’s back to pyjamas. And then Sunday, well, you may have guessed, I’m in pyjamas.

There will be chips consumed. There will be movies watched. There will be books read. But there will be zero work unless you count the hard work of scrolling through GoodReads and finding more things to read.

I am mentally checking out for 48 hours. And I’m doing most of it in pyjamas.

Let the relaxation begin in like… eight hours. I cannot wait.

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Stop procrastinating. Go make your backups. Don’t have regrets.

Seriously. Stop what you’re doing for a moment. It will take you fifteen minutes, tops. But you will have peace of mind for days and days. It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments in order to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

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And now the blogs…

But first, second helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week. In order to read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Babies Don’t Die So That People Can Learn Life Lessons–They Just Die And It’s Tragic” (An Unexpected Family Outing)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Lavender Luz has seven facts about National Adoption Month, most of which you probably don’t know. I mean, I didn’t know them, therefore, I assume most people won’t know them. Though once I read the post, I was like, “Yeah, that makes sense.” Learn how the month came about and the impulse behind it.

Inconcievable’s final cycle didn’t work, but I love that she asked for what she needed from her doctor. It is so hard to trust that someone will step up — especially if they’re correcting how they inadvertently behaved — but she makes sure that she has the final interaction she needs. She writes, “I don’t really believe in ‘closure.’ Like so many other griefs, resolving infertility will be an ongoing process. Even when we’ve finalized the last of the decisions, I suspect there will be pangs that pierce me at the most strange and random moments for many years to come. Infertility will no longer be one of the major, ongoing parts of my life, but it will always be a part of my story.” So true.

Finally, The Uterus Monologues has a guest post about miscarriage affecting the writer’s sex life. She writes, “The topic of post-loss sex isn’t very well explored. A quick Google search shows that while there’s plenty of information covering how you might feel about sex immediately after your loss (and generally the sensible health advice is that it’s fine to have sex again once your symptoms have stopped) there’s little that signposts the confusing and complex feelings that may come later. So, let’s dive in.” Wow — what an informative, important post.

The roundup to the Roundup: Did I mention how much I love my pyjamas? Your weekly backup nudge. And lots of great posts to read. So what did you find this week? Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between November 1st and 8th) and not the blog’s main url. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week? Read the original open thread post here.

Another underlined passage from Diary of a Bookseller. On page 37, he explains how reading got him through a difficult experience:

The landscapes of Jonathan Meades, William Boyd, José Saramago, John Buchan, Alastair Reid, John Kennedy Toole and others protected me from my own thoughts, which were pushed into the background, where they could silently process without bothering me. I created a physical wall on my desk, made from the books, and as I read them the wall slowly came down until it was gone.

I can tell you what I read once the twins came how from the hospital. In those first few weeks, there was The Time Traveler’s Wife and Oryx and Crake. But those years when we were trying for the twins? It’s a black hole of reading.

I know there were books during that time. I mean, there are always books. But I don’t remember what I read. I can visually scan my bookshelves and note books I read before we started trying and books I read after I brought the twins home. But the years in between are a complete blank when it comes to the page.

I love that image of creating a wall of books between yourself and the world as you process an experience. And reading your way back toward interactions with other people. I wish I had kept a reading journal at that time, writing down the books I’ve read like I do now. But I just have to trust that there were stories that got me through it. I just don’t remember what they are.

What did you read/what are you reading as you process infertility or loss?