My dad sent me an article about a robotic tool used in IVF called Aura. It can choose the best sperm and aid fertilization. It automates 205 steps, from retrieval to freezing.

Sounds amazing, right?

Though there is this: “None of the studies — which include a first-of-its-kind trial in 2023 by Overture and a 2024 study by Conceivable — has demonstrated that AI-enabled machines are markedly outperforming conventional IVF, though researchers have found that the software can excel at key parts of the process, such as picking healthy sperm.”

So not better. Just different.

I stopped reading the article at some point because it made me sad. On one hand, if the technology gets better and it’s able to shave time and money off the process, I would probably opt to use it. Cycles are brutal. Who wants to add time or cost to the situation?

And at the same time, I felt so removed from the process when I was lying on the table. Surgery is not natural, so it follows that we may have fewer emotional reservations about robotic surgery. Creating a child is natural, so it follows that we may have many feelings around needing assistance. It was one thing to have another human (or many other humans) involved. It’s another to have a robot — something completely unnatural — being a team member. It really turns it into a clinical process, more than it is with humans involved.

I didn’t know how to feel about it. Was it a loss? A gain? Something that is both a loss and a gain? It needs its own word.

I’m not a big clothing-shopping person, but I had such a positive experience at the Boden store (now closed) a few years ago, that I decided to give one of their sample sales a try.

I’ll start with the positive: It’s organized, everything is a flat price (e.g., all dresses are $70), and they have every size. So whether you are a size 4 or 14, there will be plenty for you.

But I sensed while I was standing in line to go in that sample sales were not my thing. The people around me were carrying their own full-length mirrors. That was my first clue that this was not going to be chill experience. I guess I would best describe it as people grabbing armfuls of items (the sale was many many many copies of the same 20ish things from their site, with a few single copies of a handful of items), racing to try on things, and tossing them aside if they didn’t fit. Everyone was lovely, but the whole thing felt like sharks in a feeding frenzy. No joy. Just all-consuming consumption.

It was kind of the opposite of the experience in the store. It’s a bit of a bummer that the brick-and-mortar store is gone.

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Stop procrastinating. Go make your backups. Don’t have regrets.

Seriously. Stop what you’re doing for a moment. It will take you fifteen minutes, tops. But you will have peace of mind for days and days. It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

And now the blogs…

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But first, second, helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week. To read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• None… sniff.

Okay, now my choices this week.

Infertile Phoenix changed her last name a long time ago in anticipation of having the same last name as her future child. It was a change of heart from her original plan not to change her name with marriage. But a divorce and second name change later, and she comments on how, “Every application, every official form. They all ask for any previous names you’ve had. So I have to acknowledge my kids’ last name until the end of (my) time.” It was just a profound reminder.

The Road Less Travelled posts a picture from the dock of the cottage she was staying at, and it looks like my ideal place. It’s just a good reminder to take a step back sometimes and reconnect with people you like in beautiful places.

The roundup to the Roundup: I learned I am not a sample sale person. Your weekly backup nudge. And lots of great posts to read. So what did you find this week? Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between September 26 – October 3) and not the blog’s main URL. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week. Read the original open thread post here.

I mentioned a few months ago that I was rewatching The Good Place, but I had a very different reaction to the ending this time around. If you haven’t watched the show and don’t want the ending ruined, click away now.

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Okay, you were warned. I had to speed through the final three episodes because the show was leaving Netflix, so I watched them back to back one night while I was home alone.

The first time I saw it, I felt weepy, but I was watching it at the beginning of the pandemic with all of the unknowns in front of me. Like Chidi and Eleanor, I just wanted time with the people I loved.

In fact, that’s exactly how they describe paradise: “This is what we’ve been looking for since the day we met. Time. Yep. That’s what the good place really is. Not even a place, really. It’s just having enough time with the people you love.”

Once you feel you’ve had enough time, you can walk through the final door and become a particle in the universe. So first, Jason decides to leave. He is leaving someone (not a girl) behind, but she doesn’t process emotions in the same way as a human, so when he leaves, she just returns to still being with him because she is experiencing every moment of time, all at once. Tahani becomes an architect (so is still accessible), and Michael becomes human (so not as accessible but still out there).

And then Chidi tells Eleanor he is ready to walk through the door. She is not, and she tries to get him to stay, but then decides to support him because she says it is selfish to try to get him to stay because she isn’t ready. And I didn’t feel awwwwwwww about it this time around. I actually felt angry at Chidi.

Look at that quote above that he said. The good place is about having enough time with the people you love. So he knew the point of the good place, but he didn’t give Eleanor enough time. He gave her a limited amount of time while he took enough time. She wasn’t full, but he took the plate away because he was done.

And I was angry because when they entered into a relationship, they entered into a social contract. To be there for the other person for as long as possible. It will never be enough, and time together with another person is out of our control. But in this case, it was entirely within Chidi’s control. And Chidi decided to leave early, even though Eleanor hadn’t reached enough. And she positioned it as “selfish” to ask him to stick to that social contract, when it is anything but to ask someone to do what they said they would do.

Clearly, I’m getting worked up just thinking about it again!

But the point is that I was enormously disappointed in Chidi for not staying and doing the hard work of getting to an endpoint together. Eleanor is presented at peace, albeit sad, with his decision, and there was only so much Michael Schur could cover in 37 minutes. So I’m realistic in that it was probably the better storytelling decision. But it made the series end on such a sad note for me this time around.

It will be interesting to see if my feelings change if I watch it a third time in the future.

This is a monthly series, published near the end of the month summarizing what I found, ate, watched, googled, and felt this month. New categories added from time to time.

Books Added to My TBR (e.g., books I just learned about that I’m excited to read… maybe)

• The Velvet Knife (Maureen Johnson)
• Half His Age (Jennette McCurdy)
• Murder Most Haunted (Emma Mason)
• Discontent (Beatriz Serrano)
• A Killer Wedding (Joan O’Leary)
• A Murder in Paris (Matthew Blake)
• The Name on the Door (Anthony Horowitz)
• I’m Not the Only Murderer in my Retirement Home (Fergus Craig)
• Meet the Newmans (Jennifer Niven)
• Upon a White Horse (Peter Ross)
• Go Gentle (Maria Semple)
• Belgrave Road (Manish Chauhan)
• The Life Experiment (Jess Kitching)
• The Body in the Kitchen Garden (Paula Sutton)

Notable Meals (new recipes, old favorites, and restaurant items we ate this month)

• Vegetarian pho with ChickieNob in a little outdoor restaurant.
• New York Times corn risotto recipe, heavily changed.
• Olivada pizza from Antonios: fresh mozzarella, olive tapenade, roasted red peppers, artichoke hearts, Parmesan, and basil.
• Poppy Cooks roasted potatoes — these were exceptional.
• Austin Grill corn soup (without the add-ons) from the Vegetables Unleashed cookbook by José Andrés.

Television, Movies, and Music (watching and listening)

• The Thursday Murder Club on Netflix. It was good if you don’t compare it to the book (that all-star cast!), but it felt pretty flimsy if you do. I’m not unhappy that I watched it, but I don’t think I would ever re-watch it.
• The Paper on Peacock. I never saw The Office, so I may be missing a few jokes, but it’s very funny and sweet. I like that they’re all (except, of course, the character Esmeralda) trying to make the newspaper work vs. get out of doing work.

Added To My Ongoing Mix Tape

• “Poker Face” (Lady Gaga)
• “Welcome Home” (Radical Face)
• “Amerekan” (Citizen King)

Tabs I Left Open (things I Googled and left up on the screen)

• A list of audio books read by Kristin Atherton. I really like her voice.
• A webpage on Tenby in Wales. I’d like to go there.
• A website for Moomin Valley Park in Hanno, Japan.
• A description of the ride Danse Macabre at Efteling.
• A stuffed pine marten on Amazon.
• An announcement for a Boden sample sale.
• Pippin at the Signature Theater.

Micro-Joys

• I baked a chocolate cake with coffee icing at the end of August, and we ate a slice every night around 8:30 pm, calling it cake-o-clock.
• Josh set Waze to use Paddington’s voice to give us directions. Even after a month, Paddington sometimes throws in a little Paddington fact we haven’t heard before. Hidden depths.
• I got to see an old friend for a short visit, meeting her at her old neighborhood park. It was so good to see her and her kids/husband face-to-face v. through a screen.
• Football/soccer is back! We love cheering on the Spurs on Saturday morning.

Mood

• Contemplative. Trying to keep my head down and get through things without getting swept up in the noise and chaos.

What about you? Let me know what you’re eating, seeing, listening to, googling, feeling this month.

Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is? Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too.

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I am not a fan of Libby’s new holds system. I’ve heard the “why” behind the decision to force people to suspend instead of delay holds, but I haven’t heard “how” the new system will achieve that “why.” Unless they explain how the new system will be more efficient and help stretch library budgets, it seems like an arbitrary decision that makes things slightly harder for the user without actually changing anything for the library.

It may end up using up budgets faster if people check out more books than they can reasonably read instead of delaying, and then let the checkout sit on their shelf until it auto-returns, and then get back into the holds queue again.

I’ll keep using Libby because libraries are awesome, but I really wish the rollout came with an explanation of how this system will be better, not just state that it will be better.

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Are you also doing #MicroblogMondays? Add your link below. The list will be open until Tuesday morning. Link to the post itself, not your blog URL. (Don’t know what that means? Please read the three rules on this post to understand the difference between a permalink to a post and a blog’s main URL.) Only personal blogs can be added to the list. I will remove any posts connected to businesses or sponsored posts.