I feel like this article needs to be prefaced with a warning. The Guardian ran a first-person piece about stillbirth from a father’s perspective. If you missed it, I found it a moving and important read, and I appreciated that they gave space for the father’s voice.

He writes: “Losing a child in this way is a horrifying experience, and for women there are online support groups, podcasts, books and baby loss influencers. For men: next to nothing.”

If you feel up to reading this difficult but important piece, please read the whole thing. If you don’t feel up to the entire thing, this was the most perfect way I ever heard loss described:

“I’ve learned a lot of horrible things in the last year, but mostly I’ve learned to think in a different tense: the future lost. If this hadn’t happened, then we’d be doing that; if this happens for us eventually, then we’ll do this.”

Future lost.

Last week, I hit my yearly reading goal on Goodreads, and it gave me virtual confetti. I set a goal I knew I could read — 48 — which isn’t really the spirit of a challenge. But I like my challenges to be not that challenging.

Most of the books I read are in the mid-300-page range. Last year, my average was 363 pages, and I assume it will be around that this year, too. I don’t like short stories. I feel like it’s a lot of work to get to know a character, and if I’m investing the time, I want to spend a few days with them. I don’t like long books. I feel like some characters overstay their welcome, and long books feel like a guest who never leaves. Books in the 350-ish page range are just long enough that the characters feel familiar, and I can imagine my way through their world, but not so long that the interactions on the page begin to feel tedious.

Do you like short stories or long books?

Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is? Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too.

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Neal.fun put out an internet archive that you can scroll through like an online museum. Can you name the first MP3? When do you think 🙂 (indicating a smile) was first used? What year do you think held the first Amazon order, and what do you think it was?

Go explore and find out.

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Are you also doing #MicroblogMondays? Add your link below. The list will be open until Tuesday morning. Link to the post itself, not your blog URL. (Don’t know what that means? Please read the three rules on this post to understand the difference between a permalink to a post and a blog’s main URL.) Only personal blogs can be added to the list. I will remove any posts connected to businesses or sponsored posts.

Mari Andrews created a list of things she knows. Not universal facts but things she can do, understand, or learned over the years through experience.

I was struck by how much of her list was essentially positive. Positive interactions with the world yield positive lessons learned. When validated by the world around you, even difficulties can have positive lessons learned about resilience, trust, or support.

When I first saw the list over the summer, I thought it was such a neat idea to write down 100 things you know. But looking at it again, I think it is much deeper than its surface — that we’re not just a product of our experiences but also how the world interacts with us.

I haven’t been in the mood to write. Some of it is coming down from getting to see the twins. We had the best time with them; it felt like old times in many ways. Like nothing had changed except perhaps we were more aware that the time together was precious, and they sounded like older, confident versions of the kids we dropped off weeks ago.

Some of it is the ongoing situation overseas. It impacts us deeply on multiple levels, and while I don’t talk about it here, it is the only conversation happening offline.

Some of it is a constant stream of work that bleeds into the deep evening hours.

All of it adds up to a feeling that I don’t really feel like writing.

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Stop procrastinating. Go make your backups. Don’t have regrets.

Seriously. Stop what you’re doing for a moment. It will take you fifteen minutes, tops. But you will have peace of mind for days and days. It’s the gift to yourself that keeps on giving.

As always, add any new thoughts to the Friday Backup post and peruse new comments to find out about methods, plug-ins, and devices that help you quickly back up your data and accounts.

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And now the blogs…

But first, second, helpings of the posts that appeared in the open comment thread last week. To read the description before clicking over, please return to the open thread:

• “Your Friendly Reminder To Do What You Want” (Infertile Phoenix)

Okay, now my choices this week.

Bereaved and Blessed has a beautiful post about going through her late mother’s possessions, in particular, her shoes. She writes, “As I slipped my feet in her shoes and laced them up, the memories rushed in from when we were together and I was helping Mom by gently finagling each foot, adjusting her socks and then tying them up (with one knot, as she preferred).” Her writing put me in the moment, made me feel the love and care that went into those interactions. And this line both gutted me and lifted my heart: “Though navigating this new reality, in which Mom is dead, continues to be difficult and painful at times, allowing myself to feel how I feel helps me to find meaning, as I integrate what was then and what is now.” Sending a lot of love.

Lastly, Infertile Phoenix points out that moving can change everything. You don’t always bring your baggage with you. It can be about grabbing control and feeling happy in a new space. Great advice: “You might as well live where you want to live! At the very least, don’t live where you don’t want to live.”

The roundup to the Roundup: Not in the mood. Your weekly backup nudge. And lots of great posts to read. So what did you find this week? Please use a permalink to the blog post (written between October 13 – October 27) and not the blog’s main URL. Not understanding why I’m asking you what you found this week. Read the original open thread post here.