Regardless of date, this post is still constantly being updated: This is a tweetroll for the ALI (adoption/loss/infertility) community and it is open to anyone with either biological or situational infertility, at any stage of the experience (from newly-diagnosed to parenting after infertility), walking any path out of infertility.

In order to have your Twitter account added to the list, click here and fill out the form. Use the list below to find like-journeyed people to follow on Twitter. Entries within each category are not alphabetical, but are added in the order in which they were received. Therefore, the newest entries in each category are towards the bottom.

You’re trying to find the comment box to leave your Twitter account…right? Sorry–use the form instead and it will be uploaded to this page very soon.

For Advertisers

Advertise on Stirrup Queens or Lost and Found and Connections Abound

You may purchase ad space on my left sidebar that runs below the BlogHer ads. All image ads are around the same size: 125 x 125 and cost $50/week.  In addition, you can purchase ad space on my right sidebar that appears closer to the top of the blog (usually beneath the icon of the book) and costs $100/week.

Smaller ads which are solely a colourful bar that can hold a blog name or business name can be purchased for $25/week (left sidebar) and $50 (right sidebar).

All advertisements may be linked to a site or to a specific blog post. You may purchase advertisements in one week increments for up to three months. All payment is made through Paypal.

My readership tends to be men and women in their 20s, 30s, and 40s who are engaging in family building or have young children.

I do not accept ads that go against my philosophy or the spirit of the sites. Therefore, I do not accept advertising that is connected to baby or pregnancy-related services or websites (with the exception of those related to infertility, assisted conception, or adoption). I also tend not to accept advertising that is of a political or religious nature. Sorry.

When contacting me about advertising, please state whether you would like the ad to appear on Stirrup Queens, Lost and Found, or both sites simultaneously.

Contact Melissa by clicking here and providing the following information in your email:

• Name of your site
• Main url of site (or post)
• Any text (up to 50 words) as well as links you’d like to have appear within the text if you are purchasing an image ad (smaller bar-shaped ads do not come with text space).
• Whether you want the ad to appear on Stirrup Queens, Lost and Found, or both sites simultaneously
• An email address to send the Paypal billing
• Attach the art to the email (for an additional $20, I will design the ad for you after initial discussion)

A bill via Paypal will be sent within 48 hours. If the bill is not paid 48 hours after being sent, the ad request will be deleted.

Last updated: February 9, 2009.

Want to bring something to Show and Tell?

If you would like to join circle time and show something to the class, simply post between Wednesday and Friday (the list opens every Wednesday evening), hopefully including a picture if possible, and telling us about your item. It can be anything–a photo from a trip, a picture of the dress you bought this week, a random image from an old yearbook showing a person you miss. It doesn’t need to contain a picture if you can’t get a picture–you can simply tell a story about a single item. The list opens every Wednesday night and closes on Friday night (in the past, it was held on Saturday night, but we moved to this new day-of-the-week in June 2009). Scroll down to the link at the bottom of this post to peruse past Show and Tells and get a sense of the format.

You must mention Show and Tell and include a link back to this post in your post so people can find the rest of the class. This spreads new readership around through the list. This is now required.

Label your post “Show and Tell” each week and then come back here and add the permalink for the post via the Mr. Linky feature (not your blog’s main url–use the permalink for your specific Show and Tell post).

Oh, and then the point is that you click through all of your classmates and see what they are showing this week. And everyone loves a good “ooooh” and “aaaah” and to be queen (or king) of the playground for five minutes so leave them a comment if you can.

Did you post a link and now it’s missing?: I reserve the right to delete any links that are not leading to a Show and Tell post or are the blogging equivalent of a spitball.

If you want it…

Click here for the icon code if you wish to have it for your blog. It links to the archives.

The old posts are closed right now, but since this happens every week, the next one will be coming up this Wednesday. Here is a great way to ensure that you post at least once a week AND the best part is that you can even write your post ahead of time and just post it on the correct day.

So, class, let’s begin:

Welcome to the portal to the Stirrup Queen Ballroom, a site of bulletin boards and discussion groups. Before you click over to this Facebook-like page for the ALI (adoption/loss/infertility) community, please read these basic guidelines:

This forum is open to everyone in the ALI community–from the newly-diagnosed to those parenting after IF to those living child-free.

• You will need to sign-up in order to join. Everyone (with the exception of spammers) will be approved within 24 hours.
• If I don’t recognize your email address, I will send you a note asking for either your blog name or a few blogs you read. Truly, not trying to keep anyone out except spammers…
• Once you’ve joined, you can begin personalizing your page (as you would with Facebook) or jumping into the main features including the bulletin boards and discussion groups. Please choose a profile picture that does not contain a picture of a baby or pregnant belly. The only place where baby/pregnancy pictures will appear on the site are in the designated photo areas.
• Access to the discussion groups is moderated as well. Again, access will be given within 24 hours by the group administrators.
• There are no rules about posting except to be thoughtful in your words: those spewing hate or offensive remarks at members will be removed. You may post about a personal business or fundraising effort (for a third-party organization) you’re doing if you are an active participant on the boards, though personal fund solicitations, medication solicitations, or medication offers will be removed and members banned after a warning. Think about it this way, if it wouldn’t get into LFCA, it isn’t appropriate on the forums.
• These forums stand in place of the LFCA on the weekend when the LFCA is not traditionally posted or on days when I cannot post the LFCA. Therefore, please use the specific open thread to post news, ask questions, and gather support.
• If you like the little pomegranate badge, you can get the code to cut-and-paste into your blog right here.

Either jump right into the living room, or scroll back up to click on this button once you’ve read the information below if you’re here for the first time (just a reminder–sign in with your name and wait a moment. When you get a password prompt, click on “enter without password” and continue):

A few years ago, I had a student whose father bought a storefront and tried to create a living room. “Is it a store?” I asked him, a bit confused. “What is it going to sell?”

“Nothing,” he told me. “It’s just a living room. You can come in, hang out, watch television with other people, read the newspaper, drink a cup of coffee. Anything you want. It’s a living room, except it’s public. Because too many people hang out in their living room at home all alone and need a space to be with other people.”

It was a great idea. Unfortunately, it was closed as a health violation. Apparently, when you have a store that brings in no money, you don’t have the ability to get the space up to code. There was no money for running water hence no bathroom. But it’s suffice to say that people hanging out in a living room still need to use facilities when they are consuming the cups of coffee they brought with them. It turns out that the city doesn’t love the idea of a crap bucket. But I digress.

This place–this blog–is my public living room. Where I come and hang out and talk about what is happening with me emotionally and hear what is happening with you emotionally. And having this space gives me a place to go mentally when I’m stuck in the real world between two women on a sofa springing their pregnancy announcements on me. I hope you feel like you can mentally jump here too in addition to your own blog when you are in a shitty situation. It has made the journey manageable this time. It utilizes the best parts of what I heard in my student’s father’s idea–without the crap bucket.

And now I’ve taken it a step further to actually set up a space where people can meet in real time and chat. In other words…a chat room. Except that this is our chat room. And it is a public space where you don’t need to have a special email program to chat and numerous people can speak at the same time. We can use it to hold virtual meetings, watch television together, or sit with you when you’re doing your first injection.

This is the way it will work. At certain times, it will be “signed out”: there will be a specific discussion happening in the space. Anyone can join in, but the topic on hand will be the focus (you know that I’m talking about 9 p.m. Thursdays for Grey’s Anatomy). At other times, it will be open and if you see that no one has reserved it, feel free to tell others to meet you here (simply send them the url for the post) and use the space. Or simply sign in and see if anyone else is hanging around too.

If you want to sign it out for a specific time–a meeting, to watch a television show with other people, at 8 p.m. for your first injection, leave a comment in the comment section on this post and I will start compiling a list of who has called the living room. If you are reserving it, leave a date and a span of time based on Eastern Standard Time (sorry, non-East Coast/non-US people, you’ll have to quickly calculate the time difference). I will place your event on the sidebar of my blog below the living room icon so people can see what is happening and I will add event information to Lost & Found.

Before you leave your comment below to sign out the space, make sure you have scrolled through the last few comments to make sure something else isn’t scheduled for that time. Hence why everyone should use the comments section rather than emailing me so you can see all the “reservations.”

So relax. Enjoy. Bring your own drinks. Be polite. No feet on the sofa. No cursing out others. Just your average public living room.