Updated at 8:53 p.m.:

Still pouring drinks at the Virtual Lushary, albeit slowly. If you still haven’t gotten your order, it will come today. A life lesson: free bars sometimes don’t have great service… But we always go heavy on the imaginary alcohol.

Meanwhile, the book tour voting booth has closed and the results have been tallied. These next tours are not set in stone in the sense that if another great book comes along and everyone wants to read it, we can shift things about or if an author says that they can participate in a tour of their book but they are only free in the moment, we can move things around.

These books received the most votes so I placed them in a non-fiction/fiction order. Just to reiterate: these are not set in immovable type, but I wanted to get out this list so you could put yourself down on waiting lists at the library or feel solid ordering these from Amazon (or like Beagle’s traveling book, if people wanted to share a copy, they could read ahead and have enough time to pass it along). The next few tours go as follows:

Tour 5: The Kid by Dan Savage
Tour 6: The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood
Tour 7: Inconceivable by Julia Indichova
Tour 8: Love and Other Impossible Pursuits by Ayelet Waldman
Tour 9: Happiness Sold Separately by Lolly Winston

Which takes us into the winter. Wow. Winter feels very far away right now especially with the general muggy weather and the ceremonial breaking out of the flip flops.

Interesting new thoughts are springing up on blogs as well. I missed a few posts towards the end of last week and I’ve included them here because it’s my roundup and I can break the rules. As they say, it’s good to be the queen. Actually, it really sucks to be the Queen or to be any stirrup queen. I set up a date with the new hematologist for the beginning of June. When I made the appointment, the nurse agreed that he’d want me on Lovenox. And the needlephobe in me awakened. She had been dormant for a bit. She’s pretty good with denial. But Needlephobe Mel roared into action once I made that appointment.

I really hate injections.

And blood draws.

And as Es eloquently said this week, it seems most unfair that in a process that is pretty damn painful and uncomfortable regardless (pregnancy and delivery), that the pain and discomfort should be front-loaded and back-loaded for some.

So enough of my bitching about needles.

First of all, how freakin’ cool is this? And this? (hint: click on the hyperlinked text)

I missed Lisa P’s birthday last week. The title of her blog–More Than My Share–has never been more apt–she is definitely DEFINITELY getting more than her share right now. In the middle of trying to get pregnant, she has had another setback since she has recently started chemo. Her birthday, this small date on the calendar, sparked a post thinking through choices. And I loved the final line: “I just hate these reminders that come via dates on a calendar.” You can still stop by her blog and wish her a belated birthday.

Hopeful to Hateful in 28 Days has a great post this week chronicling the thought process during the two week wait–from “wheew, I did everything I could” to “fuck–I have to do that again next month?” Head over and read the whole post. I especially love Dr. Jaded and Mrs. Hope!

Trisomymommy has a great post (okay, okay, so it was technically last Thursday) about this past FET cycle which worked–she is currently pregnant. Unlike her first go at IVF where she did everything “right,” this time around, she had a more relaxed cycle–sipping her coffee and having a transfer on Friday the 13th. It has a bittersweet ending: “I’m happy but not celebrating. I’ve long since passed out of the blissful naiveté that allows me to assume that being pregnant means having a baby. It is merely a prerequisite, necessary but not sufficient. Still, I’m hopeful.” May it be an easy pregnancy and delivery, Trisomymommy.

On the topic of bittersweet posts, Artblog has a post where she talks about infertility and loss as she tries not to talk about infertility and loss on Healing Arts. It is a brave, heartbreaking post and I cannot even do it justice with words over here. Please go over and not only read it for yourself, but send Artblog some comfort. Her heart is really hurting.

Lastly, it would not be a pre-Mother’s Day blog roundup without a post that discusses this weekend. Andrea-Jennine has a post on Entrusted about her retrieval this weekend and the many reasons they want it on Sunday rather than Monday. Though I am not Christian, I really loved the end of her post and think it applies to many women (though change the ending to reflect your own religion): “And this Mother’s Day, I ask you to remember those for whom the day is painful – those who don’t or can’t have children, those who have lost their moms, those who are estranged from their moms, and so on. I know those ladies (myself included) will need the comfort of Christ this weekend.” Sending good thoughts to everyone–those who are celebrating for the first time or celebrating through tears or waiting to celebrate in the future.

For those who tried Guess-That-Blogger last weekend…

Co-winners of the blog guessing contest? Megan with six and Tina with five. I designed this lovely little question mark icon for your blogs… If people didn’t find it too annoying, I’d like to do the Friday Blog Roundup like that once a month or so. We can come up with more exciting prizes. Bahamaventions and the like. Or if people found it too annoying, I can stick with the same format as above. Your thoughts?

I know, I know, DD, I still have to make my icon for the Friday Blog Roundup. What should it be? What says, “I was in the Friday Blog Roundup” in so far
as pictures I can draw in Microsoft Paint?

Update:
I’m flipping the tour order because Ayelet Waldman can participate in the tour of Love and Other Impossible Pursuits. So it now falls after Dan Savage’s book as tour #6 and The Handmaid’s Tale is #8. Hope no one minds–I just think it’s fun when you get to hear the author’s reaction/thoughts/ideas.

It’s just two words on a calendar. It’s some greeting card displays and flower advertisements. It’s commercials and sales and all other venues of consumerism.

And at the same time, it’s almost as if Hallmark designed this lovely little knife to jab straight into your heart (the knife is, of course, festooned with decorative hearts and flowers and is only $6.99 with the purchase of three greeting cards).

You need a drink, right?

If you weren’t in the middle of a 2ww, you’d be at a real bar this weekend. Or if you weren’t waiting to cycle and worrying that alcohol could hurt your chances, you’d be knocking back a few appletinis. So let’s open this one instead. I thought drinks would be better served before the 13th rather than after this month.

Mother’s Day is this bizarre little holiday. When you can’t celebrate it yourself, it becomes this huge container of salt to rub on a very open wound. And when you can celebrate it yourself, you still find yourself weeping in the card aisle. You want to simply enjoy it, but you think about what it took to get there. And while others try to convince you otherwise–“you have a mother; just celebrate her this May and don’t think about it”–it’s hard to get your mind off your hoohaahooterus when Hallmark has created a reminder of motherhood right in the center of May.

So for every stirrup queen who has not reached motherhood; for every stirrup queen who reached motherhood but had it cruelly snatched away; for every stirrup queen who is currently pregnant yet terrified about celebrating; or for every stirrup queen who has reached motherhood but still thinks about what it took to get there or how she will ever reach motherhood again–a drink for you.*

So don’t just catch everyone up on what’s happening to you this month–have a good vent. Get it out here. Send each other ideas on how you’re spending that day. Send support to others who need it. And if you are looking for the perfect, alcohol-inspired card:

I purchased this card for a friend simply because she is in need of a good, stiff drink right now. But I thought I would put it up on the blog with a link back to the good people at Hallmark (more specifically, it was made by Shoebox) so that this card could be virtually sent to all of you. It seems that with the new line of sympathy cards aimed at infertility and pregnancy loss, Hallmark has also gone on a few tangents with hard-to-deal-with holidays.

Making Mother’s Day a drinking holiday is a little bit like making a birthday a “smoke up, Johnny” sort of day. But why the hell not?

So…beyond your thoughts on the upcoming holiday…as I always state… It has been a little less than a month since we met, bitched, cried, comforted, and caught up each other on our cycles and lives. Pull up a seat and I’ll pour you a drink. Let everyone know what is happening in your life. Maybe you just had your first appointment with your RE. Or your worst fight ever with your spouse. Or maybe you simply need to have a good cry as you pick up the pieces after a D&C. My only request is that if a story catches your eye, you follow it back to the person’s blog and start reading their posts. Give some love, give some support, or laugh with someone until your drink comes out of your nose.

I have a ton of assvice in my back pocket and as a virtual bartender, I will give it to you unless you specifically tell me that this is simply a vent and you do not want to receive anything more than a hug.

So if you have been a lurker for a while, sit down and tell us about yourself. Remember to provide a link or a way for people to continue reading your story (or if you don’t have a blog–gasp!–you can always leave an email address if you’re looking for advice or support. If not, people can leave messages for that person here in the comments section too). If you’re a regular at the bar, I’ll get out your engraved martini glass while you make yourself comfortable. And anyone new, welcome. I’m glad you found this virtual bar.

For those who have no clue what I’m talking about when I say that the bar is open, click here to catch up and then jump into the conversation.

And forgive me if it takes me a day or two to get you your drink. My lady-when-waiting is coming into town!

* And to all men who fall into the male side of these categories (except the ones who are currently pregnant since you’re such an media case that you’re probably too busy giving interviews about how you’re the first man carrying a child to drink at this imaginary bar), please pull up a chair and drink too since you have wives to comfort and celebrate this weekend.

Updated on May 8th:

Wheeew–for every book that someone loved, another person hated it. I threw everything on the list and will let the voting sort it out.

Here is the final list for the next few book tours (at least tours #5, #6, and #7). Here’s how voting will work. Email (thetowncriers@gmail.com) or leave a comment with your top three choices (you can just send the number next to the title or you can lovingly type out the full title). Three. Even if you’d read them all. Just three. If you can’t find three books on the list that you’d be willing to read, send a vote for only one or two of the books on the list.

At the same time, you get to vote one book off the island. So if there is a book that you absolutely would never read on this list, send it off the island with a “no” vote.

Just make it clear which are your “yes” votes (ranked from the most eager to read to simply eager to read) and your one “wouldn’t read this in a million years” vote.

And just in case in needs to be said, this online book club is open to ANYONE in the infertility and pregnancy loss community–from those who are undergoing treatments or waiting to cycle or waiting to get in with an RE or pregnant after infertility or parenting twins conceived via IVF or living child-free or trying to start a family with their partner or using donor gametes or adopting a child or grieving a child…and anyone I inadvertently missed… Um…where was I? Oh, yes, this online book club is open to anyone. And if you still want to join in for tour #4, there is still time to read Waiting for Daisy for Peggy Orenstein. Simply send me an email to get added to the list with your blog url and an email address (since some of the behind-the-scenes tour stuff happens via email). And if you need more information on all of the past book tours in general, click here to read through a collection of posts.

So let the voting commence. Voting will be open until May 9 at 9 p.m. Then votes will be tallied and the next few tours set…

1. Inconceivable by Julia Indichova (IF and loss?)
2. The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood (IF)
3. So Close by Tertia Albertyn (would be a later tour–#7 or #8–since it’s not out in the US yet but will hopefully be soon) (IF and loss)
4. The Confessions of Max Tivoli by Andrew Sean Greer (loss)
5. The Kid by Dan Savage (adoption)
6. Operating Instructions by Anne Lamott (single parent by choice/donor gametes)
7. Inconceivable by Ben Elton (possibly out of stock?)
8. Happiness Sold Seperately by Lolly Winston (loss)
9. The Hollow Heart by Martina Devlin (possibly out of stock?) (loss)
10. Love and Other Impossible Pursuits by Ayelet Waldman (loss)
11. The Blood Doctor by Barbara Vine (IF)

I tried to put how the book tied to infertility or loss in parentheses after the title, but I haven’t read most of these books so I wasn’t completely sure in all cases whether it was IF and loss or one or the other.

Update:
Ooops–I just realized that Maybe Baby was left off the list above. So make it #12. If you’ve already sent in a vote and would read Maybe Baby (the collection of essays), then send a quick note or leave a comment letting me know. It won’t change your earlier vote–it will simply be a 4th place vote. And to make it fair, everyone can vote for three books above and then tack on a yay or nay for Maybe Baby. Sorry about that…

I walked to save babies this morning–what did you do?

We rolled into the WalkAmerica site at 9 a.m. since I am the type of person who follows rules and the rules clearly stated that we should arrive at 9 a.m. With a printed copy of our sponsor sheet (which it turns out no one wanted). The walk got started at 10 a.m. after the crowd was led through a long stretching exercise that everyone talked straight through while eating doughnuts. And then we were off! Five miles through a manicured and pristine development that gave us a bad case of real estate envy.

Probably the most amazing part of the walk is that my daughter gave birth to quadruplets between mile two and three. Unlike her mother who has issues with conception and carrying to term, my daughter seems to always be pregnant. And it’s never with a singleton. Most of the time, she is carrying twins. Sometimes, she is knocked up with triplets (all natural, of course. My daughter likes to remind me at inopportune times that “Mommy can’t have a baby in her belly, but I can!”). Two weeks ago, she announced when she woke up from her nap that she was carrying quints (at this point, you may be wondering who is impregnating my daughter. We try not to think about that aspect of her pregnancies). But somewhere between mile two and three, she told Josh that she couldn’t possibly hold his hand anymore because she now needed to carry her quadruplets because she just had them. We finally compromised and she put the invisible babies in her empty stroller and continued walking, loudly announcing to everyone passing us that her babies were all named Arielle.

All in all, we raised $1026.68 for the March of Dimes thanks to you. And it was so much fun that we’re doing it again next year. Though there is always the wish that there won’t need to be a walk next year because we’ll have found ways to combat prematurity this year.

But there are a few more people to thank!

This blogger has a PhD in Endocrinology and Reproductive Physiology. In other words, I bother her a lot with all of my questions 🙂 She also is in the unique position of knowing too much as she goes through treatments herself. She is currently in the 2ww for her third IUI so go wish her good luck for the beta. She is…

This British blogger is currently living in Denmark. Though she isn’t really “out” in her daily life, she recently told a friend what they’ve been going through–including two losses–in order to have an outlet in real life. She is also a scientist by training. She is…

Lastly, this blogger just found out that she is pregnant. And her beta came back at a whopping 1450 and is doubling nicely. She is being cautiously optimistic but is worried about the ultrasound later in the month. So while you’re on her blog thanking her for supporting the March of Dimes, also wish her congratulations. She is…

So add these to the twelve bloggers below and see how many you can now guess out of fifteen. Winners will be announced on Friday during the roundup!

Once again, thank you so much for supporting this cause that is close to my heart and affects so many families in the infertility and pregnancy loss community.

And while it may appear as if we were leading the pack based on the fact that there are few people around us and while I would love to let you believe this, we were so freakin’ slow that they were almost out of “I did it!” stickers when we crossed the finish line. And I cropped the Citigroup team that were walking next to us out of the picture. Take that Citigroup!

Think you know your fellow bloggers? Well, let’s put your knowledge to the test (as well as your impulse to cheat since the answers to the questions are right here on the page). Grab a scrap of paper and a pen and number from 1–12. Read each description without running your mouse over the “she is” at the end of each paragraph since it’s obviously linked to a blog. Oh–and no clicking around the Internet to check blogs before you write down your guess. You need to fly solo on this one with only your wits and a backpack of luck. Once you’ve written down your guess, click over to see if you’re correct. And then leave a comment on how well you did. Anyone who guesses all 12 correctly should receive a master guesser icon of some sort for their blog. And be truthful–this is sort of like the teacher leaving the test answers on her desk…

Oh, and while you’re over on their blog checking your answers, leave them a thank you note for sponsoring me for WalkAmerica!

1. This blogger is currently pregnant with triplets! She is a sassy mom to a foster son already and she’s smart and funny. Don’t check for updates on a Friday night because this blogger is lighting Shabbat candles and enjoying some challah. She is…

2. This blogger recently got back from an anniversary trip to Hawaii. She is due this summer with her first child via IVF/ICSI. Her grandmother has been ill, so while you’re over there thanking her on my behalf, also let her know that you’re keeping her grandmother in your thoughts. She is…

3. This blogger going through secondary IF recently took a break from blogging, but she’s now back. An extremely funny blogger with a penchant for green apple martinis, she recently admitted that at her pity parties, the only song that plays is “Come On Eileen” by Dexy’s Midnight Runners. She is…

4. You know how Hemingway was Papa? Well, this blogger is Mama to all bloggers in the infertility and pregnancy loss world. You will pee while laughing when you read her blog, so be sure to wear clothes you don’t mind soiling a bit. Her latest post about HR 735 will kick you into action. She is…

5. This kind and thoughtful blogger speaks broken Portuguese to her grandfather, recently returned from her cousin’s shower, and unfortunately had to cancel her last cycle (I’m so sorry, sweetie). While you’re on her blog thanking her, also wish her bon voyage because she is going soon on a cruise. She is…

6. This blogger has one of the largest hearts that I’ve ever seen (and I don’t mean that in a hypertrophy sort of way). Every week, she does a good deed (or two or three) in order to give back to the world. She has a beautiful singing voice and wields the coloured pencils for cinematography like a master. She is…

7. This blogger, like the one above, is also known for her huge heart and her inclination to pay it forward. A blogger from the Garden State, her MFM is located in the same building as my number one, favourite place to go when I have a UTI and I’m in New Jersey. Though she has experienced a lot of loss in the past few years, she also has a beautiful son. She is…

8. This blogger hails originally from the US and now from Israel and is the keeper of an amazing site of fertility stories. She is a mother of five, all conceived via IVF including a set of twins. She knows an incredible amount of information about fertility treatments and the whole infertility world. She is…

9. This blogger has currently taken a new job as a traveling nurse so she can see more of the country (the traveling part means that she takes temporary posts and then moves every few weeks/months). She is becoming a single mother by choice and she has a gorgeous dog pictured on her blog. She is…

10. This blogger just got her BFP a few days ago (so it’s really spanking new)–so wish her congratulations when you click over there. She has two cats named Boo and Nelly. And on her wedding day, the limo exploded into flames en route to the Church. She is…

11. This kick-ass blogger is the mother to twins and she is also the keeper of the most comprehensive multiples blog on the planet. She is currently running a multiples film festival, so if you enjoy seeing twins laughing hysterically (and who doesn’t enjoy watching twins watching hysterically? Unless maybe they’re creepy 60-year-old male twins like Tweedledee and Tweedledum…) stick around on her site for a bit when you check your answer. She is…

12. I often gush about this blogger because she is one of the first IF bloggers I started to read. She is an all-around amazing person and lover of Antonio’s pizza. She is incredibly smart and committed to the gym. I am extremely hopeful that she will be a mother soon with her brand-new ute. And she dreams about me! She is…

Reading this game and wishing desperately that you had donated to WalkAmerica? It’s not too late. The walk isn’t until Sunday morning so you have until Saturday at midnight to make an online donation. It’s quick, it’s easy, and March of Dimes uses the money to combat prematurity and help parents care for premature newborns. And the March of Dimes rocks. Plus, more donations means that we can play a second round of this game! Regardless, I think I’ve found a new way to write the Friday Blog Roundup.

And since these chickies don’t have blogs (or they don’t have public blogs) I want to shout out a big public thank you to Lisa, Nicole, Paz and my Mommy.